Pete & Repeat

So, I know I do this a lot.... buuuuuuut...

2011-03-13T20:20:00.000-07:00

I'm making a self-analytical post. This is kind of hard for me to write about since I don't talk about it that often and I don't recall ever writing about it in great depth, but I suppose that one has to begin somewhere.

I know I've talked about how I've had a difficult past and like, I'm going to get into how it was so difficult and why I think I did it and I guess there's going to be more than that as well, but that's the gist of it.

I guess it all kind of started when I was about 13. At least, that's when I stopped being who I was before that and I started being who I was from ages 13 to 17. Before 13, I was shy and quiet. I didn't have any friends, but that was alright. I sufficed on my own devices in my own company and I was happy, I suppose. Rather, I wasn't unhappy. I enjoyed myself... I read avidly, I loved science, I just... did anything I could do by myself. When I was 13, I got my first friend... and she became my first friend at the same time as she made herself my first girlfriend. I remember being young and wondering why this girl suddenly took and interest in me and I was curious but not overly curious. I mean, I had seen my peers pairing up and I wasn't actively trying to pair up as well, but it just happened. Needless to say, the two of us didn't work out for very long. To be blunt, she was a bitch. She would yell at me all the time for not holding her hand when I was supposed to and she would always yell at me for doing something she didn't like or not doing something else that she thought I should do. Eh. It was tiring. She inbtroduced me to my first boyfriend (still, at age 13), Devon. He was nice, as I recall; sweet and we got on as friends... but still, we were 12ish. Obviously it wasn't overtly meaningful. However, Devon did introduce me to something new that was overtly meaningful to the next few years of my life.

Devon introduced me to partying. He didn't mean to, but it happened. After we had "broken up" (an event which amounted to us just deciding that we didn't want to see each other after school every day anymore, oh if only life were still that simple...), we remained friends, just not as close as previously and he asked me if I wanted to go to a party with him and his older brother. Being the naive child that I was, I assued that this was a birthday party. Like for kids. Like, with a clown or pinata. Yeah... no. It wasn't that kind of party at all. Devon and I were easily the only ones south on 20 at this party. Now, being the naive and curious child that I was, when I heard this alcohol thing, my ears pricked up.

To give a tidbit of background knowledge, I come from an Italian family. I had been having a glass of diluted wine with my dinner every night since I was 10 or 11. Alcohol wasn't strange to me, but all of the different kinds were quite curious and they piqued my interest. So, of course... I drank. Devon drank a little too. This was the first time I was ever legit drunk though. It wasn't like, bad. We were just a little tipsy. So, we started dancing. That night, I danced with a fellow who was quite cuddly. I speak of him fondly and frequently; Alex. Oh, Alex. I remember that night so well despite the tipsiness.

We had been dancing together.... or at least, I was dancing and he was dancing and we just happened to be right on top of each other when doing it. I recall his hands winding their way on my hips and again, as a naive child, I guessed that this was normal. Oh, I was right then too. It was normal. So, after dancing for awhile, Alex and I ventured over to the couch for a bit of a rest and he offered to go get me a fresh drink, which I (looking back on it) accepted idiotically. Luckily, Alex is a relatively good guy and it was fine. We just sort of cuddled on the couch and talked for a bit. It didn't take him long to realize that I was younger than he had initially guessed, but he didn't want to just cast me asunder. So, yeah. That happened... and he gave me his phone number and then I called him about three days later and we hung out a few days after that at the next party. Gradually, we became really close friends. He started calling me Piper and I started calling him Lexi (which was effing dumb, ok. I admit it. Let's move on...). So, now for more introductions... Alex introduced me to some of his friends and they were all good for the most part. By then, I had become quite the little drinker. I had also learned how to get what I want, even if I wasn't conscious of myself doing that.

Several months after I met Alex, probably about July, I started to snort cocaine. Alex and his friends did it and I was curious. I remember Alex saying that he didn't think I should start, but it was my choice. So, obviously, I did it. Then of course... I fiended. That was kind of terrible, but even then, I did it again... and pretty soon I was doing it at every party. It was a casual, social thing. I'm not saying that excuses it, but it makes me feel less stupid. I've never talked about this before and I've even denied doing it, which weighed heavily on my conscience for awhile... which is when I coming out with it now.

So, basically, that was my life... I was having boyfriends at school, which doesn't go any deeper than that besides the fact that one of them gave me my first kiss (Stephen)... but otherwise, I was partying like a fool. When I turned 14, I started on being more curious and our good friend Alex steps in to introduce me to new things. this new thing was sexuality. At this point, Alex and I had been making out fairly regularly. By "fairly regularly", I mean every time we hung out. Soon enough, I had given him the first hand job that I had ever given and he gave me the first I had ever received. Not long after that (maybe a week), we moved on to mutual blow jobs. That was an interesting experience for me, to say the least.

I had a strange relationship with Alex. We did all of this stuff, but when I was 14, he made it clear that we were non-exclusive. I remember that night. We had a terrible fight and I threw a knife at him, but it missed and stuck in the wall. So, I had boyfriends aside from him too all the way up through the years.

When I was 15, I started dating a guy named David. After a month of being with David, things turned wrong and he became abusive. He hit me for whatever. It didn't matter if I had done anything or not. If he was mad, I might as well have not even talked. So, I didn't. I stopped talking or thinking for the whole time I was with him. He was worse when he was intoxicated. At one point, he was so angry with something that had nothing to do with me that I cracked me with a glass bottle in the back of the head. That was fun. So were the four stitches I got. David also went further with it, emotionally and verbally abusing me and worse. Far worse. **At this point, we've gotten in so deep that we've gotten to a point where I haven't even told my therapists about this.** I'm not sure if I'm even ready to say it now, though, I'm sure it's somewhat obvious. So, Imma just talk about it because I guess it can't hurt. Anyway, David started molesting me and he would make me do sexual things that I didn't necessarily want to do. He never actually raped me, but still. It was hard. At that time, I developed eating disorders and started picking up prescription meds to dose myself instead of the cocaine. I just wanted to sleep all the time and they let me do that.

Alex tried to help me out the entire time, but meh. I didn't know what to do and I didn't care. I was scared, sure, but I don't know. I still loved David and I thought he meant it when he said he would stop if I didn't like it. Then, seven months after started dating, David broke up with me. A week later, I attempted suicide.

That time period is kind of fuzzy for me. I remember saying something to Alex which, I guess, must have tipped him off so I don't think I was passed out for more than 20 minutes before he found me and called an ambulance. I was in the hospital for two weeks after that. They called my mother first and she said to call my father because he was closer. They called him. He never picked up. So, Alex took me to his apartment and I stayed there for a month getting better and regaining my stamina in life. during that time, I lost about 35 pounds which was... catastrophic.I was down in the high 70's for awhile and Alex made me bounce back up to high 90's. I still struggled with the eating disorders though and, even though I knew he was trying to help, I resented Alex for "making me hate myself". He got me back on my feet and within three months, I was back partying and slutting around with any guy I could land for the time being. Drinking, cocaine, and now prescription meds.

By now, I'm 16 and I was doing this and juggling boyfriends for short periods of times and not getting very attached to any of them. Then, in June, I met Daniel. Daniel was really good for me. He cleaned me up and he just... well, I was happier when I was with him. I loved him. We made all these pans for what we were going to do because we wanted a long term relationship.He wanted me to be his and I wanted him to be mine as much as I wanted to be his. We were going to go to Europe so he could make his films and I could write. three months after I met him, in August, he passed away in a car accident.

After that, I was literally broken and I had nowhere to turn. alex had abandoned me because he didn't like Daniel. He didn't like Daniel because Daniel and I had plans and Alex wanted to be a part of my plans and he didn't want Daniel to be. So, when Dan died, Alex was gone and I had pretty no one besides Nolan. Nolan was Dan's best friend since about 7th grade until he died when he was 26. Nolan helped me through it a lot and I helped him. A few months later, I met Nicky. He picked up the pieces that Nolan couldn't reach and put me back together as well as he knew how to... and we're still happy as ever, getting happier by the day.

This past summer, I entered a rehabilitation program and I've since stopped the drinking and doing coke. For the most part, I stopped doing prescription drugs that I wasn't prescribed. However, I'm on 4 different meds for anxiety, depression, and moodswings. I now have four counselors who I have to check in with twice a month and a therapist who I have phone sessions with every Wednesday.

I'm getting better, but I'm not perfect. I suspect I may come dangerously close though.

-Peter

Tis been too long.

2011-03-10T17:12:00.000-08:00

Ah, it's been too long since my last post. I feel a bit bad. I just don't have all that much time anymore and I'm constantly busy and I never get enough sleep.

Anyway, into business.

I had a bit of Alex trouble. It didn't start off as trouble, but of course it turned into it... what else would happen?
He emailed me a lot of pictures that were taken in the last five years. Some of him, Nicky, Nolan, Sam, Nathan, me, and other people we know mutually... It was cute and I really liked how sweet it was. He also said something along the lines that he was just looking at all of these pictures and he was thinking about all the good times.

Well, that was really really sweet, so I called him and told him that he should come and visit Nicky and I with Nathan. He agreed and they also brought Nolan and Sam along. Everything seemed alright at first, but then Alex decided that, even though his boyfriend was sitting right there, he was going to be all over me. I told him to stop it multiple times, for Nathan's sake.

You see, Nicky and I have a somewhat open relationship. We talked about or values between each other and we decided that we can have close relationships with people other than each other. Nothing extreme, mind; but, we can touch and kiss out friends more intimately than other people in relationships would. This is why I wouldn't have minded, had it not been for Nathan.

I could tell that a couple of things that Alex did or said to me made Nathan a bit uncomfortable, which then made me uncomfortable, and then Nicky was uncomfortable. Alex was the only one so self-absorbed that he couldn't even tell that I wanted him to stop. So, I just discreetly explained the situation to Nicky and I excused myself to my room alone.

After awhile, Alex came up and said he wanted to talk to me... and I kept refusing and he would leave and then the process would repeat. It kind of made me more and more angry. Then, I finally let him in once and we talked for awhile. It kind of made it better, a little. I told him what an epic cunt he was being and he almost felt bad about it.I asked him if he had had the "open relationship" talk with Nathan yet (because he originated the idea and he has it with every partner he gets with for any length of time)... and he said no. I was kind of surprised, but then he explained that it's because he doesn't know how Nathan would react to it, which is very understandable.

Then, Nathan and Nicky came up to my room to hang out and Nolan and Sam left. Alex and Nathan stayed the night and then spent the day in town just wondering around. I didn't really get to see them before they left, but they seemed fine. they still haven't had the talk, but if Alex doesn't want to have it then he doesn't have to... but he has to either have it or stop doing what he's doing because it's borderline uncalled for behavior.

It tends to be difficult for people who Alex and I date to grasp that we have a history. What we have isn't going to just disappear... it just gets swept under the rug for awhile. Nicky's accepted it and he's embraced it, developing his own special relationship with Alex. I'd like for Nathan to embrace it as well because I actually like him and I think we could be really good friends. I just don't want him to resent me for what I may or may not have had with Alex at one time.

I haven't really talked to Alex much since then, so I don't know where the situation is now. I assume that if anything major had happened, Alex would have called and told me... but that's just an educated guess.

Anything else I'd say in this post would revolve around my boring life at school. I really don't feel like talking about that though, so I'll leave off now.

-Peter

The willingness of people to attempt to appreciate something they think is "important".

2011-02-28T00:26:00.000-08:00

I think it’s funny how much of the stuff that comes across my dash was obviously reblogged because the person thought it was important. Not because it has any real significance to them in any way, but because it’s supposed to have significance. A classic rock song, protest photographs, a quote from a existentialist author, etc. People on Tumblr eat these things up whether they understand the significance or not… or even if they realize if something has a significance.

I know that this is going to sound pretentious, but I don’t care. It’s true. I’m not complaining about it anyway, I’m merely stating an observation that takes place, not only on Tumblr, but in most of society as well.

People talk about things and “appreciate” things that they think has significance to the forward momentum of a certain medium, be it music, literature, etc… For example, The Rolling Stones logo being on cut-off tees at H&M or an Ernest Hemingway quote on a coffee mug at Barnes & Nobles. People who go to these places generally aren’t consumed with why these things are significant or even if they really are. What they want is to appear as if they have achieved a higher level by being aware of the supposed significance of these things.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m not doubting the significance of Ernest Hemingway or The Rolling Stones or anything else that pertains to this subject. Of course, there is significance. The thing that gets lost on these people is what exactly is significant and why. Tumblr, H&M, and Barnes & Nobles all generalize. They generalize significant specimens and suggest that every piece of what they ever did was significant. This is not the case. The Rolling Stones are not defined by every song they ever put out and Ernest Hemingway isn’t defined by every word he ever wrote. The most popular of these societal tributes are important, sure. However, they’re rarely the most important.

Culture icons such as The Rolling Stones and Ernest Hemingway don’t have significance to society. They have significance to the people who enjoy them and to their given field. Their given field… which is comprised of people who enjoy them and search for the significance to them. These people are objective. They realize that there’s more than The Sun Also Rises and a set of lips with a tongue sticking out.

The general public assumes things like this (for example, The Rolling Stones and Ernest Hemingway) to be important. When importance is assigned to something, everyone wants to make it seem as if they “get it”; as if they “understand” why it’s important and significant. This is done by purchasing a tee with The Rolling Stones logo on it or a mug with a quote by Ernest Hemingway. These objects show that the buyer totally understands the deeper meaning and the significance of the artifact. What a falsity.

The object (or reblog for Tumblraic purposes) only shows that a given person knows that there is a significance to something. It doesn’t mean that it is in anyway significant to them or even if what they have is significant. It’s a symbol that tells other people that the buyer is aware. The buyer is deeper. The buyer has taste, culture, and intellect.
When something in society is deemed important, it is flocked to. It is flocked to until all significance is gone.

The musical significance of Lynard Skynard fades each time FREEBIRD is shouted at a concert by someone who’s never even heard the song. One may pose the question, “If they haven’t heard the song, why would they request it?” The answer is obvious when taking into account the aforementioned argument. The request the song because they think it is important and they believe that by requesting a song by a band that is revered and tragic, it makes them deep and therefore, significant and interesting.
Overall, the point is to say that people put their own significance to things that they think are already significant. This is done for a person to assume depth and intrigue… as if to say that because they realize that Lynard Skynard was a good band and they had that good song that one time and a lot of people know it and they’re tragic the person is deeper because obviously shouting FREEBIRD at a Vampire Weekend concert makes them get the deeper undertones of the song and it makes them significant as a person.

Don’t judge me by my examples.

-Peter

Hm, ok.

2011-02-27T06:34:00.000-08:00

Well, hello there friends. In the past week or so, a couple of things have happened that have formed sort of a roller coaster in my head. It's kind of strange, I suppose. Or rather, it feels strange.

Last week, I got into a fairly large argument with Alex. We always argue, sure, but this was different. It was like how we used to argue and become the most immature people who ever lived. It gets really personal and we both use everything at our disposal against each other. We've just... known each other too long to be able to fight fairly. It's unfortunate, but at this point in time, it's resolved and I feel like it's resolved to a good point where things will be solid for a long time. But, I don't know. I thought it was solid last week... and then he just got bent. So, maybe the arguments just inevitably happen.

This week, late Monday night, I learned that my ex boyfriend, Chase had passed away. That's still kind of eating me up a bit, but it's getting less difficult. He was riding his bike with his boyfriend, Jaren, on the back and crashed... and he passed away, but Jaren is relatively ok. He has cuts and bruises and a broken pelvis... which sucks, because he couldn't go to Chase's funeral and I'm pretty sure he has to be kept in a medically induced coma for awhile. I wanted to visit him in the hospital, but then I figured that only his family could be in there... so, I don't know. I didn't know him well anyway. It probably just would have been awkward, though I still plan on talking to him about it when times are fit.

On Wednesday, really early in the morning, like just after midnight... my mother had her baby. It turned out to be a girl and my mother named her Charlotte Carrier Oberman-Morales. I suggested both names, Charlotte and Carrier... so I'm kind of stoked that my mom picked them for it. So far, I like Charlotte, but she's annoying as all Hell. The walls here at my mom's house are paper thin... so I'm constantly woken up by her mewling and crying. Nicky and I will probably head back to our place soon because of it.
Here's Charlotte:

So, yeah. That's it. It's pretty cute, I guess... and it's my sister... so I'm it's brother. That's weird. I'm actually closer to my mother in age than this baby, if that's not weird enough.

Friday night, I got bored and I was bopping around my room and I found some stuff which pleased me... so, I ended up tripping the night away. I was convinced that the floor was actual lava and Nicky and I were stuck on our bed unable to get away. The room had also turned into water, as did my legs. My legs were water in a room full of water. Yeah. Then I "passed out" or rather, fell asleep... and my explanation for that was that it was from not being able to breathe in the room full of water... It was just a funny night and it's kind of great to go back and read my aim conversations and see how fucking crazy I sounded.

Yesterday... meh. I just went out for a bit. It was kind of fun, though. I got a couple of books and a bagel. I love bagels. Kelly came over last night and hung out for an hour. I missed her. She's great.

Now, I'm getting stoned. Yay.

-Peter

Yesterday was my birthday.

2011-02-16T07:08:00.000-08:00

Nineteen is a strange age... it's kind of a reject-age like, 14 and 20. Sure, you're another year older and into the rite of passage even deeper, but they're more of a resting place than a graduation.

I had a pretty good birthday, though. Class went from 8:00 am to 5:00 pm, so that kind of sucked, but I liked the class and I got a lot done which made up for it. Early on, I found like, $80 on the ground. I was like, wizard. I am God. There was also free food for Valentine's Day... though it was a day late... which put it on my birthday. Millions of cupcakes later, I had take home boxes full enough to be an actual cake and a balloon. I bought some more food, as if I hadn't eaten enough already, with some of the money I found and I'm going to use more of it to buy more food today.

I never noticed until recently how often I eat. It's kind of repulsive... at least, it is to me. I never ate this much and now I'm afraid that I might start gaining weight... which would be tragic. So, I'm going to definitely try to eat far less. Either that or I could exercise more... ew. I'll just eat less. Yeah.

Luckily, Nicky and I are getting past that whole clingy stage of our relationship where we have to be in constant contact and always together. It's not that I try to be apart from him for long periods of time, but it just works out that way some days. Nothing's really changed though, he just seems a little more excited to seem me lately when he gets the chance and I know that I anticipate seeing him more now.

We both go our separate ways often enough now and we have our own friends and then a group of mutual friends who we interact with. I remember when it was just the two of us every day. That was a lot of fun and it got us really used to each other and aware of each other enough that we rarely argue for real anymore. I mean, we never really argued and fought anyway, but it's just nice that we still don't have that. I do get annoyed with him and I'm sure he gets annoyed with me, but we know how to deal with it without everything exploding up. Sometimes I miss seeing him all the time though. That comes with the territory of being a human though... always wanting what you don't have.

Oh well, this whole post probably makes no sense, but that's alright for now.

-Peter

Hm. Oh. Yeah. There's that thing that's going to happen tomorrow, it's called the future.

2011-02-12T08:03:00.000-08:00

Well, I actually have a legitimate blog post this time. Well, I guess it classifies as legitimate... even though, at the time of submission, I consider each and every one of my posts legitimate... though, that confidence deteriorates over time. Anyway, this one... well, it's about Nicky and my future kids. Kids... something that I refuse to think about until Nicky brings it up, even though he always makes it clear that he wants kids when he's 27. The exact age. 27. I told him to suck a dick. He's getting no guarantees.

So, yeah. Somehow, the topic of kids came up. Well, not really "somehow", Nicky literally said, "I wonder what our kids will be like?". I had to remind him that we couldn't make a baby ourselves, so that brought up the discussion of possible ways we could acquire a child.

Obviously, there's adoption. However, I don't know how adoption laws will change in the coming years, but right now, as far I know, two men cannot adopt a child together. (Utterly ridiculous, government oppression, the whole shebang) So, there's always adopting overseas. I think that a little Russian baby would be nice; maybe an Asian baby, but probably not. I don't know, any kid would do. We just... want one. Preferably a boy. I honestly don't know what either of us would do with a girl. That's a lie. A girl would be fine, actually. I can see us raising a girl. Aw. kfvnjrtklelmgjnkmlkf;,.

There are other means of acquiring a child though. Nicky and I could hire someone to be a surrogate mother... but that's often a messy process. With that option, I would be far pickier.

First of all, the woman would have to be impeccably attractive with a spotless health background. Young, fit, intelligent, beautiful, independent, etc. I will not intentionally have someone get pregnant just to end up with an ugly baby with this that and the other mongoloid disorders. No. I just won't. Adopted? Sure, I'll love whatever godawful spawn you want to give me. Surrogate mother? It'll look exactly how I want it to if I have to rearrange it's genes in a petri dish.

I know that it could be arranged for Nicky or me to be the father. I would want Nicky to be the father for two reasons. One, because it would mean a Hell of a lot more to him to be it's blood-father than it would to me. Two, I want his hair genes in our baby. He has the most amazing hair genes. It grows full, thick, soft, all over, and more importantly... ginger. I need a ginger baby. Need. Need. Need. NEED.

So, that's what Nicky and I have been talking about for the last two hours. We discussed ideal mothers, Scarlett Johanssen, Abbie Cornish, Ellen Page, etc... Names were the big thing though. Nicky and I really want to find a perfect name for our kid... it seems like the least important thing, but it's crucial. IT defines the child's entire life experience. Shit name, shit life. Rad name, rad life. It's true. It happens. Nicky and I both have decent names, so we've both had decent lives.

We both like semi-unique names without getting into ridiculous names that look like one just threw a bag of scrabble pieces at the wall and took whatever made a scrap of sense. We also like some more common names and names that have meaning to us.

For example, Nicky and I both like Caroline. That's his mother's name and I find it sweet and endearing. I like Nina, for my gramps. We both like the name Beth, but it's kind of strange because it was the name of this girl who Nicky kind of loved.

We both like androgynous names... (like Carrier, Cauley, Gaines, Ryder, etc) that could work for a boy or girl.

Specifically for a boy, I like Daniel, for obvious reasons. Nicky likes Thomas and Kiefer. I kind of also like feminine names for boys, like Ashley and Kelsey, but those would need just the right baby to pull them off. Not every boy is an Ashley.

So, yeah. This is what Nicky and I have been thinking about. Sure, it won't happen for 6 or 7 years, but we might as well be prepared for when it does, because it will eventually.

On another note, last night, Nicky and I had an open phone conversation with Mitch. The subject turned... peculiar and I dropped out of it but I still listened to what Mitch and Nicky said. It was disgusting to say the least, but it provided entertainment for about an hour or two.

To put it into context, it all started from this image:

Then, the conversation went as follows:

Mitch: No man will ever be satisfied on Valentine’s Day because no woman will ever have a chicken wing-vagina that cums ranch dressing and pepperoni nipples that aren’t a misnomer.

Nicky: What if vaginas were all made of chicken wings? and that’s where chicken wings came from? What if people have been eating vaginas all this time?

Mitch: Dude, if vaginas were chicken wings then I wouldn’t mind eating Elena out, haha. I don’t think she’d like hotsauce in her cooch though.

Nicky: I ate out this girl and she kind of tasted like chicken wings once. Kind of.

After Nicky said something about a girl’s puss tasting like chicken wings, Mitch was like like, “Wait. Was it [poor, unfortunate girl]?” and Nicky said, “Yeah, dude. How did you know?” to which Mitch replied, “She totally tastes like chicken wings, man! I thought it was just me!” and then I shot myself in the head.

The conversation didn't get any less strange after that, though. Oh no. It never has and it never will.

Nicky: What if there were like… vaginal dressings. So like… they could be seasoned and marinaded like meat, so then they would taste better. Garlic-butter vag sounds gross. Honey barbecue doesn’t sound bad though.

Thank you, Nicky, for those pearls of wisdom.

Ahh, and with that utter trauma. I leave off.

-Peter

Eyyyyo. Well, newest post is new.

2011-02-05T18:53:00.000-08:00

Yeah, so. Sup, bros?

Nicky and I went to the mall today and then we ate and came back home. I bought a sweater that's kind of cute from PacSun. I let Nicky put it on and he ended up falling asleep and Liam cuddled up next to him. It was the most adorable thing I had seen all day. Nicky just looked so innocent and sweet; but, he was hot when he woke up... and itchy. So, he pulled the sweater off and threw it on my head and his hair was all messy. It was... aww. It was adorable. Now he's reading his book and Liam is cuddling with me. I think he really likes the sweater, which, now smells like Nicky and cats. Two best smells ever. Wizard.

Nicky and I are turning into regular mall rats. Almost every weekend lately... but, it's hasn't lost it's flair yet. There are just too many peculiar people to see and watch. We got Chinese at the mall so that was great... I hadn't had Chinese in forever; neither had Nicky.

I have a three-page paper to write... for Monday. Ah well. I haven't even really picked a topic yet, but it'll probably surround Harry Potter. That's pretty much my go-to topic when I can't think of anything else.

Speaking of Harry Potter, I've been listening to a lot of wizard rock lately. That's a genre of music based off of Harry Potter, if you don't know and... it's wonderful. Gred & Forge is probably my favorite band of what I have in my collection, but Harry & the Potters are good, as well as Draco & the Malfoys and The Remus Lupins.

After I finish this post, I'm going to make some tea and probably have some toast with that. I haven't been feeling well lately and tea with toast sounds better than anything anymore. Besides the Chinese earlier, it's all I've been eating with the occasional grapefruit to get some Vitamin C.

Lately, I've been thinking a lot about what I want to do with my life post-college. I had several idea that I liked and felt were in my ability to accomplish yet still challenging.

Filmmaker- I really like this one. I've been really into film and learning about it recently. Next semester at my school, there's a class on digital filmmaking. I plan on taking it and hopefully that will either reassure me or tell me that I'm not fond of that path.
Restauranteur- What? Yeah, haha. It's funny, ebcause I was honestly joking when I first started thinking about this. I had been eating so much toast and drinking so much tea that I was like, I should just open a little cafe that serves breakfast foods. Then, I got to thinking aobut it and it really blossomed into a full-fledged career path. Tea, coffee, espresso, smoothies, and other things like milk and juice with toast, french toast, muffins, bagels, eggs, scones, etc. Then, I had an expansion idea... there could be shelves of books for people to read and/or buy and perhaps an area where local musicians could play. The idea is too hipster to fail.
Artist- Yeah. I actually had to think of this one. I kind of want to see if I can make it just on my art alone. Of course, for that to work, I have to figure out what "my art" is exactly and who my target audience would be... that will come in time, I expect. I have three years to figure it out, anyway.
Journalist/writer- I've been hearing that journalism is dead now, thanks to the blogosphere. I don't think that that's necessarily true. Newspapers my be outdated and dead now, but people will always want a reliable source for the facts. Blogs are often too biased to give that, and it's not to the fault of the bloggers. I have several blogs and on them, I say whatever I want. It doesn't make it always true, nor does it mean that anyone should take it seriously. Journalism, when one disregards the corruption of it, gets the facts out their in an allegedly non-biased way with skill. However, if I'm wrong and journalism is dead, writing will never be. I can still commentate through books. I've been trying out writing my memoirs of my teenage years lately. So far I haven't been very successful; at least, not in achieving the tone I'm looking for. I still have the rest of my life to do it though. So, that's good. I've also thought a lot about writing narrative/informative essays in book form. So, that's something to consider as well... and I always have my poetry to fall back on.
Musician/Songwriter- This is weird for me. I never really considered being a musician as a "career" or even as a serious hobby. But, lately I've been thinking about it and it kind of makes sense for me to put a bit of time into it. I write a lot of songs and I play the piano well, so, why not? Even if it's just a hobby, it could still be fun.

So, yeah. All that's been in my head lately. Nicky's been really patient with my constant mood swings about it... Often times, if I have a lot to think about and I keep it bottled, I swing like hell. He knows that and he tries to be as helpful as he can, which is very and he's always far more patient with me than I even am with myself. So, that's fun.

Anyway, I'm hungry and thirsty and still feeling a cold on me... so I'mma go do that.

-Peter

Unpopular Opinions.

2011-01-31T19:28:00.000-08:00

A little while ago, I made a post on Tumblr that displayed some of my "unpopular opinion". Here is where I am going to expand upon them and explain why they are my opinions.

First on the list was: The Beatles are irrelevant.
I personally feel like this is true. Musicians who claim to be inspired by the Beatles nowadays... aren't. There is nothing Beatle-esque about their music and there is nothing that seems to be taken from them. Just because you listened to the Beatles as a kid or your parents have every record they ever came out with doesn't mean that your music has anything to do with theirs. Furthermore, music nowadays has nothing to do with the Beatles. They're irrelevant to music now. Some people like to pretend that they'll always be relevant, but they're like the Revolutionary War. Sure, it was important, but no one cares anymore.

Next was: The Doors are overrated.
I'm surprised I wasn't gutted for this, haha. I mean, Tumblr is only the world's biggest collection of Hipsters in history aside from Woodstock '69 and to mock one of their precious icons. Oh my; escaping with my life was a miracle. ANYWAY. The Doors had like, two good songs unless you were around back in the 60's. Their music is no longer relevant, yet it is held up to a standard that supercedes music that is in fact still relevant. Why? Who knows. I can merely comment on the affair and suggest that it has something to do with the fact that Jim Morrison overdosed and he called himself the Lizard King.

Going along with that, I continue with: Jim Morrison is arguably the most overrated musician.
It's true. You know it's true. He was completely unremarkable. The only thing he offered was a deep voice and decent looks. His songs weren't spectacularly written and they didn't touch society on a deeper level... unless high on several different drugs at once. He;s held high as a great musician... and it's possible that he could have become one, but he never got the chance. What he died with was not good enough by any means to stand the test of time and it's odd that it did. More than likely his death gave him life and he's only minorly relevant now because he died so young. No one would have cared about him otherwise.

Next, my unpopular opinion is that: JFK wasn't a good president.
As stated, this is my opinion. I think that JFK did more harm than good. This doesn;'t mean that I'm glad he was assassinated, no. However, I don't think he was leading the country in a good direction. The Bay of Pigs Invasion was a disaster, as was Operation Mongoose. The Cuban Missile Crisis was the best thing to ever happen to him. I also disagree with Affirmative Action, a policy which is which is flat out ridiculous. Overall, I just feel like he had more cons than pros and objectively, that makes him a "not-good" president. Sure, he was "good looking", young, and "fresh minded". Those aren't what makes a president a good leader.

After this, I jump to: Lady Gaga isn't unique.
This one is my favorite. It's cute how people think that Lady Gag is so outrageous... but it's like, ok. Bjork never existed, I guess. Bjork was doing things that Lady Gaga wouldn't dare do 10 years ago. Her "crazy clothing style" is not that crazy. It's avant garde, sure, but she's not the first person to do that. She isn't the first person to do anything she's done. Her music is unremarkable. Her voice is unremarkable. Her lyrics and beats are unremarkable. The lyrics... are... uhm. Syllables. Ok. Good job, Gaga. Rah rah ah ah ah. Poetry. Genius! SOME ONE GIVE THAT GIRL A RECORD DEAL! Like, no. The only genius that she has is managing to trick everyone into believing that she's any more than a lunatic who should get shocks to attempt to realign her mind.

I go on to say that: Claude Monet is overrated.
This, is another opinion that I see fit. Claude Monet didn't paint anything interesting. He painted the same thing over and over and over again. His colors look like they came straight out of a tube, like he didn't bother mixing them at all. The entire Impressionist movement is lost on me. I don't like any of it. Every artist's work looks like every other artist's work. It's just pretentious then when someone who "loves it" (I don't know how) says something along the lines of "it's genius because he wasn't painting the building! He was painting the light on the building!" No. You just sounds like a pretentious prat.

Finally: Landscape photography is useless.
The entire genre of landscape art is pointless, as a matter of fact. Seeing a landscape is not like seeing a painting of a landscape. All of the wonder comes from experiencing it... and you don't get that from a painting or a photograph or whatever. You just don't. I find it to be one of the dullest genres of art. I hear people talking up Ansel Adams all the time, but then I look at his work and I'm bored to death by it.

Once more, I'd to reiterate that these are merely my opinions with some fact tossed in to bolster them.

-Peter

Eyyyyy, I have a few things to go over since I haven't posted here in so long.

2011-01-30T22:42:00.000-08:00

Yeah, eyyo, errrybody. I have a few topics to discuss. I've posted these already on my tumblr. They can be seen individually here, here, and here.

Firstly, Sometimes I wonder why people are in such a tizz about having a boy/girlfriend

It’s strange because like… some people are so desperate for someone that they’ll date anyone. Like, what does that do? You end up with someone who you don’t really like, but you stay with them anyway so that you aren’t alone? What does that accomplish?

There isn’t really a point in having someone as your boyfriend/girlfriend if you can’t see yourself being with them for a length of time. Otherwise, you’re just wasting each others time and effort… especially if you’re just together for that sake. It’s pointless.

I feel like some of my best decisions were only “dating” people for like, a couple of weeks to see how it was and then ending it because it was going nowhere and then having loose relationships with people who I cared about but didn’t know if I could be in a relationship with them… and it was worth it. I’m with someone who I love and who I can see myself being with for a really long time.

I have this friend and she was “dating” this guy online… he lied to her for a really long time about all this shit. Now, they’re “broken up” and he’s trying to date this other girl. She mentioned having a feeling of wanting to stab this girl, deep down and I said that her punishment would be dealing with a lying jerk. My friend’s reply to that was, at least she’d have a lying jerk. This blew me away. A lying jerk is not better than no one at all. All that does is give you a cynical attitude and low self esteem. It’s pathetic, really.

People today are just in such a hurry to be with someone and lose their virginity and be “in love” that they trick themselves into things that take time and need consideration. Getting into a relationship isn’t something that you do just because you’re lonely… that feeling will pass, but if you get into a shite relationship, that will affect every relationship you have for the rest of your life.

Now, I don’t think I’m out of line in saying this,

but it annoys me when I bother to start a conversation with someone… and it goes nowhere. Like, I try to carry a conversation, but it goes both ways. I’m not going to put myself into a conversation if I’m getting back detached one word answers.

Another thing that bothers me is when I care enough to ask someone about their day and there’s no reciprocation. Like, sure. I’m not asking you just so you’ll ask me because chances are I don’t have anything important to say about it, but it’s the principle of the the matter. I feel like it’s good manners to care about the conversation you’re having with someone.

And, if I ever hear someone whine about us not talking much anymore, I’m probably just going to link them to this, because chances are that the reason we don’t talk is because we can’t carry a conversation on their lack of reciprocation and not my lack of trying, because I do. Why? Because I actually do care about my friends and keeping a relationship with them.

Sucks that that doesn’t matter to some people, but oh well. I’ve stopped caring.

And, finally, Dealing with teeny-boppers is probably the hardest thing I’ll ever do.

It’s not that the actual interaction is hard, it’s just that they’re so… godawful stupid.

Just… the things they do/say make no sense to me, whatsoever. For the most part I understand that younger people (high school, middle school, etc) are going to brag about things they did that make them seem “cooler”. Well, alright. That makes sense, I’m sure. But… the things that they brag about are inexplicable.

drinking/partying

drugs they’ve done

mental instability

Self-harm/suicide/etc

Like, what? I think I missed something when I was a teeny-bopper. When I was 13, it wasn’t really “cool” to have “depression”. Or rather, more accurately - being a conceited prick and feeling sad because you didn’t get your way and labeling it as chronic depression. Like, ok. I’ll bite. I know that it happens (depression, that is), but not every break up causes it… and it’s kind of sad for the upcoming generation that they can’t tell the difference between a minor problem and a major one. Not that I’m suggesting that depression is the solution or anything, but sometimes it’s a natural occurrence and I’d be somewhat more concerned if it didn’t appear. But, I digress on the matter. I just find it weird that kids talk about it as if it’s nothing… it’s not nothing and exaggerating it to seem “cool” is even weirder.

Even more obscure is the casual talk (more or less bragging) about the self harm that kids do to themselves. If they’re talking about it, it’s like… uhm, no. You’re trying to get attention. Stop. You’re fucking stupid. From what I gather on the subject, it’s something that people generally want to hide and they’re ashamed. They don’t walk around with short sleeves flashing their sliced up wrist for the world to see begging for sympathy. Sure, ok. I’ll bite again. They may trust someone enough to tell them just to get some of the load of it off of themselves… but that’s different. Also, same goes for when people do it in public.

I had a girl in one of my classes freshman year who would sit at the table with me and cut her arm up with a pair of scissors. I had also seen her carve things into her arms and legs with a safety pin. It never made sense to me and I thought she was not only the most idiotic person I had ever met, but also the most unattractive for her behavior.

As strange as it seems, the bragging about drinking, partying, drugs, etc makes the most sense. All kids do that, to some degree. Guys always brag about sex no matter what age. However, the whole DUDE! I got SO wasted last night! goes out of style once you’re out of high school. After that, you’re just immature and you have to grow up. You’re not the first person to smoke/drink/take ecstasy so, stop acting like it. No one is impressed by your “rebel” behavior. Being the “party kid” doesn’t make you “cool” anymore. Being the “party kid” makes you just like everyone else. Once again, I digress.

So, the point I come back to… is that I don’t understand why teeny-boppers brag/talk highly about certain things. It seems… detrimental to the functionality of these kids when they grow up into adults. I can’t even imagine a 35 year old scene kid with a family… it seems fucked up.

Oh, on the subject of “scene kids” I’m going to do a short segue to the trend that is assigning a label to oneself.

I remember back when no one wanted to be labeled and yet, everyone got a label anyway. But now… kids seem to give themselves a label. Scene, emo, prep, hipster, hardcore, indie, etc. It’s so bizarre. And, what is even more bizarre… they all accuse one another of being “fake” or of being “poseurs”.

Maybe I’m just clueless, but I don’t get this conclusion. How can one tell who is fake and who is not? What is fake? What is real?

For example, everyone always accuses the supposed “plastics” (preps, populars, pretties, whatever you want to call them) of being fake, however, I’d like to present the point that they’re actually the realest teeny-bopper demographic that survives in society.

They know that they’re bitches. They know that they judge people. They don’t act any differently. Sure, they put on a shiny, happy exterior, but so does 95% of the population (the exception being scenesters and emos who try to look as miserable as possible). They all know that they’re just like every other “plastic”. The, shall we say, “alternative” kids are the strange ones who act, by my definition, “fake”. These are the people who deliberately do things to be different or to stick out and “rebel” against “conformity” and “authority”; ie coloring their hair bright colors, crazy make up, strange garb, music choice, etc. They aren’t doing things that are what they are. They’re doing things that they think will make them different… and by doing that, they all do the same thing and become a cookie cutter and thus… become “plastic”. “Alternative” kids are just as fake as (if not more than) the “plastics” who they condemn.

The labeling is semi-ridiculous, but they do it to themselves, so it’s difficult to have any sympathy for them… and quite easy to have sympathy for ourselves and their children. Both groups will live in a world ruled by these obscure label mongers.

Anyway, that kind of wraps up the whole idea of how teeny-boppers will be the death of me and interacting with them is one of the hardest things I will ever do. I suppose the hardest part is being able to hold a conversation with one for more than 10 minutes without wanting to strangle myself with a bar of soap. Though, the conversation could extend 10 minutes while I entertain myself with how that feat could be accomplished.

And now I’m done typing, ok.

-Peter

I'm going to talk... a lot.

2011-01-23T23:17:00.000-08:00

I'm just going to talk about myself and my life and my choices... a lot. Hopefully positive things with the negative... but, who knows.

This is going to be in no particular order... so, bullet points are fun.

First off, this whole... Bipolar Disorder thing is annoying. Like, I'm just tired of having this issue come up at every point in my life. Currently, it's bothering me hardcore... which is probably why I decided to make this post. "Crowds" of three or more generally make it worse. I took my pills this morning so, in theory, I shouldn't be having god-awful mood swings. That just makes me think that my medication stopped working... as it has 4 times already.
I kind of hate myself for having to be on medication. It sucks realizing that without a regimen of pills that works, I'd be suicidal. I don't want that... and I don't like that... at all. It makes me feel like shit. It makes me feel like I shouldn't exist.
Self medicating myself is something that I did pre-rehab. I honestly miss that and I want to pick it back up again. It made me feel better about myself and if I wanted to, I could just sleep.
I don't know if rehab did more harm than good for me or visa versa. Like, sure. I stopped doing supposedly "harmful" things to my body... but, I'm not any happier and I don't feel better enough about myself for the whole ordeal to have been worth it in my eyes. I want to get drunk more than ever now and the only thing that makes me not is Nicky.
I don't know how I feel about my own alcoholism. I know that it was offputting to Nicky, but he didn't exactly know what to say to me... for fear of me lashing out at him for it. Truthfully, I don't want to say that I wouldn't have. The best thing to come from my stopping drinking is that it lessened my mood swings very slightly. I miss my nightly glass of Merlot. It helped me sleep.
I've been writing less than I'd like lately. Mainly, that's because I've been busy with everything... and when I'm not entirely too busy, I'm uninspired and I just... can't. I feel like one of these days I'm going to have to just sit there and write for like, hours. I have a deadline in December for a short story... and it seems like a long time... and it will seem like a long time until November when I thought that I still had a long time and in reality, no. I'm just a failure at managing time.
The other day, Nicky and I went to the mall. In the mall, there's a thrift store. It was so cute... and they had the best stuff ever. I bought a tuxedo and I'm wearing it on Wednesday to school. I intend to look like I'm going to the Golden Globes. I will.
Lately, well, it's hard to explain. I feel like my depression is coming back... not as strong, but still there. It keeps me up a little later and makes me over think things a little more. I don't really have much else to say about that, then.
My relationship with Nicky is still strong, for some reason. When I started dating him, I had no idea that I would intend to be with him for a seriously long time, if not for the rest of my life. But now... I can't really imagine waking up without him right there.
I miss Alex. A lot. He's the same best friend I've always had, but I don't see him enough. I hope he knows that.
I don't know how my mind got to this subject, but whatever. When I was younger, I could be classified as promiscuous. It's kind of strange to me that I still think about that now... and I think about it more often than I'd like to admit. I mean, I know that it was a big portion of my life and it went on for 4 and a half years, so it wasn't jsut a once and done thing. To be brutally honest, I kind of miss that part of my life. I miss being naive and carefree for the most part. Sure, there was all the other shit I was going through, but I kind of miss that part. Though, I wouldn't give up my relationship with Nicky for that.
Oh, great. Daniel. Yeah. I can't have a session of dwelling on my past and everything without him coming up, I guess. There isn't anything new that I can say on the subject seeing as it hit an end... literally. I don't remember if I ever mentioned how I met his mother this past summer. Well, yeah. So, here's how that went... She was looking through boxes that he had had in his apartment when he died... and she came across a disk that had "Pete <3" written on the dust cover. She watched it, because she figured it was another film project he was working on... and it was just him sitting there talking to the camera... to me... and a montage of clips that he had filmed of us... and now I'm crying, but that's ok... and like, she started calling his friends to see if they knew who Pete was and she finally called Kayden and he knew and gave her my number. We ended up going out for lunch and she gave me the disk and we had a good, long cry. She said that she's glad that her son died loving someone and also that it was me. That made me feel kind of good, but I'm sure she would have said it to anyone short of Ted Bundy.
I haven't spoken to my mom in awhile. I kind of miss her, but whatever. We're doing our own things right now. I'm sure I'd just get sick of her if I was actually around her listening to her complain about being pregnant and stuff, so It's probably better that there's this distance between us.
I've been relapsing a bit on the whole "eating disorder" thing. I get so... like... obsessive about the food that I eat. I have a nutritionist now and he said that I should start eating like, 3,000 calories a day... which is atrocious. I could never do that. I eat like, 1,000 calories. Maximum. If eat more than that, chances are, the next day I won't eat anything. Like, I get that this isn't good, but I can't help it. I've gone as far as I'm willing to go with the therapy.
School kind of sucks too. I want to drop out, but I know that it's kind of pointless to right now. I'm at least going to stick through a year or so more... just to see if I end up getting anything from it. I kind of realize now that I don't think I'm going to get what I want from this school and since transferring is far more effort than I'm willing to put forth for a BFA, I'd probably just stop the nonsense and start my career as a writer and possible artist.

so, yeah. I just wanted to get it all out and I guess it helped a little and I'm going to try to sleep... I'll probably fail at that though, but it's ok. I'm trying to be positive.

-Peter

Sup kids.

2011-01-18T18:13:00.000-08:00

Well, yeah? Sup, kids?

Not much for me. I mean, I started school and now I'm really busy with everything and that.

My classes are all decent. I like most of my instructors except this one female who is basically one of those chicks who has to say how weird she is... but she isn't even weird. She's just annoying... but, it's ok. I'll live. I know that I'm annoying as well more often than I'd like to admit, so I guess I'll tolerate it. Now, I'm not going to say that it's because she's female... but, she's my only female instructor... and she's also the only one I dislike. It kind of sounds like she should stop telling me how to write since I don't tell her how to bake cookies and clean her house.

Ba dum tish.

But, really. No.

I like most of my classes and the stuff we're doing isn't bad. It's a little mundane in some cases, but it's not entirely pointless. I love my 3D class... and it sounds pretty great so far. I believe that 2D will be good as well. Drawing is a little bland, but I expected that. Both of my liberal arts classes are interesting; specifically my History of Art History (ooh, fancy) class. I'm like, the only one in the classses who was excited about the writing that we have to do. You could hear a lot of "This is ART school, not WRITE A 5 PAGE PAPER school." To which I was like, Pshh. Mainly because my high school required papers longer than the ones expected of me in college. so, I realize that I'm clearly going to school with group of lazy lack wit buffoons... but, that's ok too, I imagine. Perhaps they'll be fun speds.

Tomorrow I'm doing some modeling for a friend who's a photo major. That should be interesting at least. I mean, I've never modeled and I'm generally awkward in front of cameras, but we'll see. I'm attractive enough. So, that makes up for it. I'm not sure what the modeling entails though. I didn't ask many questions, which is probably a fault of my own, but it doesn't really matter to me... I'm generally pretty open with things. Who knows, maybe I'll even like it. Hopefully.

I have to go to a bookstore or a library soon. I miss books and being around books and reading all the time. I haven't been to a bookstore in months, though, I was at the library today. However, it was my school's library... which is a joke. I just took out a film to watch because all of their books are... not intended for casual reading. For the most part, at least.

On a completely different note, there's always Nicky.

He's fun to talk about... and he's been doing some funny things lately. Like, I was accidentally mean to him earlier... and he just looked at me all sad, like, =((((((( and I felt bad, but then I gave him a cat toy and he was like "AWWW BABY. I love it. =3" and he hugged me and now he's laying with me. I shall now note that he's a warm blanket, pillow, and teddy bear.

That is all about Nicky... and my life, as apparently, I'm so boring that I have nothing else to talk about.

Maybe I'll actually think about a subject for next time that isn't school or Nicky... even though Nicky is fascinating and great.

ANYWAY.

-Peter

Relationships: How they shape us

2011-01-06T01:22:00.000-08:00

You heard correct, this post is an essay... kind of.

Well lately I've been asking my friends how they were as children, sometimes getting rather in depth. Mannerism, relationships, everything. Though what they think were their thoughts are interesting, I sometimes don't find them to be real. Often they're replacing what a child-them had actually thought with a more obscure version of what they currently think. Such as, looking at an image of flat planes of color with very little detail leaving much to the imagination instead of a detailed picture of the situation. Biases come out and, though it is intriguing, it lacks reality and clarity.

I found far more interest in the relationships that my friends made when they were children and could reflect upon now to have any more significant meaning than they held then. Theirs ranged from a black child with a white friend and how race never related until they got older to an unhealthy relationship with an adult as a small child.

At this point, I plan to go on my own quest through several relationships that I had from when I was younger. I'm going to go up to when I turned 14 because there's information there that would be otherwise lost to myself if I qualified this discussion to my childhood years.

The first relationship I am going to elaborate on is the one between myself and my mother.

My mother became pregnant with me when she was merely 16 years old. She took on most of the responsibilities with my care. Although my father was around for my childhood until I was about 6 he did not do much to further my well being. So, my relationship with my mother grew stronger. As a child, I was the stereotypical "Momma's boy". Looking back, it was funny. I would tag behind my mother everywhere she went and I'd allow her to dress me up for every special occasion. I helped her in the kitchen, I helped her clean, but sometimes when she tired of me, she sent me outside and I would explore or read or something that a child with no friends did. When I was 6, my mother packed us both up and left my father who she had married 4 years earlier. Now that I'm older, I realize that my mother was not even close to as perfect as I saw her when I was younger. You see, my mother would leave me a lone as a child. I remember thinking of these as vacations. Several times she was gone for several days and I was fending for myself. I knew how to do everything because she spent her days teaching me... I know she wasn't intending for the days to be lessons, but that's how it worked out. So she was gone... and she'd be back. She would bring strange men through and they would leave and new ones would come. I obviously didn't understand this and I didn't see it as important. None of them treated me badly and my mother has always been relatively decent for what she had to work with.

During my teen years, I had a strange relationship with my mother. I know that I felt contempt toward her for not being as nurturing as she could have been and I never achieved the level of respect for her that I should have. I viewed us as equals in a way. We fought, it erupted, name calling... the whole she-bang. It wasn't pretty and I wish it could have been different. It just felt as if there was a mutal lack of love under the roof. My contempt for her only grew after I was presented (like a slap in the face) with the knowledge that she had slept with a couple of my classmates. That was awful for me. As if I wasn't picked on before that... my mother was now the resident cougar. Great. Anyway, I managed to get my bearings at school and rise above that nonsense. During my senior year, my mother and I developed a closer bond transitioning into the bond we have today.

Speaking of the bond we share today, it's good. We have a friendship more than a parent-child relationship. I no longer live under the same roof as my mother and we're closer now, probably because of it. We've both matured and grown as people, had our problems, gotten through them... it's been crazy, but we did it. Currently she's pregnant with her second child and engaged to a man named Cristian. So, I'll have a sibling at the end of next month. That's fun.

The next relationship I want to go into is the one I have with Alex.

Alex is very special to me. I met him just a few weeks after my 13th birthday at a party. He was turning 20 in a week or so. It was a very easy relationship. We were friends, there was no pressure... he never asked me for anything. The first time we met at that party we ended up making out, but that's not the point. After that we became best friends. We did everything together. We loved each other. Alex and I would kiss and cuddle and stuff like that; we partied together, drunk every night. It was fun for the most part and nothing sexual happened between us until I was 14. Now I know that it was lawfully wrong, but that still doesn't matter. I still love him the same way that I loves him then. My best friend. We had a lot of moments that would suggest that something more was there and there was a long time where I wanted there to be. I had a crush on him and every time I mentioned this to him, he let me down gracefully, but my will was never broken unless I was tempted by another. I had boyfriends all through my teens and Alex never liked any of them. Obviously, looking back, I see this as him subconsciously, or even consciously, trying to keep me available for when he was ready for a relationship.

When I was 15, I started going with a boy named David, he was abusive, he ruined the self esteem I had, he controlled me, and broke me in so many ways. He ended up breaking up with me and devastating me. At the end of that relationship, I attempted suicide. Alex saved me. He found me and got me the medical attention I needed. For awhile, I resented him for it. He took care of me in his own apartment because I refused to go home. He rebuilt me back up to a good person... to someone who I was almost proud of. Sure, I still partied, drank, and did other things I'm not proud of. I was loose. Thinking back, it was disgusting. All of the guys I partied with were Alex's age or older. A few were younger but I wasn't interested in them. Anyway, Alex and I got each other through that.

We had a falling out when I announced my relationship with Nicky to him. He was angry, jealous, and he lashed out. IT was a very depressing time for both of us. However, we got ourselves through it and now we're just as good of friends as we ever were if not better.

A couple of years ago, I helped Alex get help for alcoholism. He also started going to college. He was in a really bad place in his life when I met him, but I realize that I hadn't understood that. If I had been able to, I would never have perpetuated the actions he was doing by doing them as well. He's been sober for about a year now, and I'm so happy for him. He's beginning to develop healthy relationships even though they'll never be perfect.

Currently, I'm going through my own battle with drinking, drugs, depression, and eating disorders. Alex is helping me every step of the way he can.He's been supportive and I often find myself missing the time we used to spend together. We live in different cities and I only see him once or twice a month. He's still my best friend though. We're not growing apart, we're just at a pause, I guess.

The next relationship I'm going to elaborate upon is the one (or lack there of) with my father.

When I was a child, he wasn't around much. He didn't take care of me very much when my parents were together. After they separated and I had minor visitation with him (about a month each summer and every other holiday) he started doing something. We argued a lot and I ended up not staying under his roof a lot during the visits. Then, he got remarried to Kathy and I spent even less time there. I didn't like Kathy. She acted as if she was my mother and she was not. Needless to say, I avoided the entire situation. When I was 14, my father gave up his custodial rights to me. I still went every summer until I was 17, but more to see Alex and my other friends.

Last year, my father had a son who I feel no connection to. I feel like that's most likely because 1. I have no connection with my father and 2. he's Kathy's son, and not my brother. Currently, I have no relationship with my father and we haven't spoken for awhile.

Now that I've reflected upon these relationships that I've had, I can only conclude that... well, I don't know. I don't know if I can really conclude anything from this at all. That seems silly as there's quite a lot of information there to look at. Ah well. I'll think about it some more and maybe I'll come back to this.

-Peter

Well, now.

2010-12-28T18:38:00.000-08:00

As I sit down to write this post, I have a dish of ravioli. This is good because I happen to love the ravioli that my mother makes. The good thing about it is that the cheese recipe does not include ricotta... which is god awful and gritty. I think a large portion of the cheese recipe is mozzarella and I happen to love mozzarella cheese in every way shape and form. Just saying.

Now, lately I've been really happy. Really excited, even. I'm starting college soon... not a moment too soon, either. I think I mentioned that before so I'll try not to dwell on it too much now.

The holidays have been good so far. I'm enjoying being home with my mother for the most part and we visited with Nicky's family a few times. His mother likes us being around so, that keeps us coming back, but his father doesn't so that keeps us away. It's strange that his father seems to have so little feeling for him, and yet he doesn't cut him off or anything. It's not like Nicky relies on his parent's for money; he makes his own and he barely ever uses his parent's unless something big comes up. But, like... he has a trustfund that I think they can still cut him off from. He get's it when he's 21? I think. I'm not sure, but like, it doesn't really matter. It's cool that he/we have a fall back if something doesn't go right in the future.

We've been rewatching a lot of films lately. Party Monster, Blue Velvet, Wild at Heart, Primer, Requiem for a Dream, among others. Nicky and I watched Requiem for a Dream together and I noticed that he seemed to really like it, so we started watching the others. We never seem to run out of things to do together, which is pretty rad. I mean, we don't get sick of each other or anything. Sure, sometimes we need time with other people or by ourselves but we still enjoy time together more than anything.

Now, with our baby, Liam... who is a kitten... it's even better. Nicky treats him like a child, which is adorable. He carries him around and feeds him by hand and plays with him. It's just like, aww, Nickyyyy. He's such a girl sometimes, it's great.

My ravioli is half gone now. Hmph.

My main concern for the rest of the holiday is New Year's Eve. Now, to be honest, I know it will be easy for me not to drink, not only because I have self control, but also because I have so many people around me who are willing to be sober with me, which is kind of cool. True, one is Alex and he has the same problem, but in a way that's even better because we can kind of lean on each other and stuff.

Speaking of Alex... I miss him. I don't get to see him like I did in past years. We're still best friends and we still talk all the time, but it's just not the same. We're both growing up, but I refuse to grow apart. Mentally and emotionally, we aren't. I mean, we still feel the same way about each other that we always have. I still love him as a best friend and I still want/need him in my life. He's told me that he feels the same way, it's just that we live in separate cities and we just don't get to be together all the time. We're both getting on, true, but it would be improved by seeing each other more often. I just miss him and I know he misses me and I know he wants to hang out with me and I want to hang out with him... it just has to be set up. So, we'll probably see each other for the New Year, which will be great.

Recently on deviantART, I was contacted by someone who asked me if I'd like to be included in a book that he and his friend are putting together of about 18 writers so far. It was so cool, because recently and in the past, I've questioned why I even bother with dA, but now I realize that it's for things like this. It's nothing huge, that's for sure, but it's still pretty rad, I mean... it's a legit book... and my writing would be in it with other writer's work. It's kind of interesting, you know.

Anyway, my ravioli is gone, so I'm finished writing. This is about all I have to say anyway.

-Peter

Hooptydoo.

2010-12-20T08:08:00.000-08:00

Eyyooo, errybody. It's been a little while since I reflected upon my life. Things are alright, I suppose. Therapy could be worse. My mom is pretty cool now, but she's all MRRRAWWWW because of that thing in her womb. If it's a boy she said she might name him Florean. I suggested it after Florean Fortescue. That was always one of my favorite names from Harry Potter. However, it kind of shows up my name. Florean > Peter. Just saying. So, it's kind of unacceptable. Maybe something lame like Mark. If it's a girl, I was going to suggest Claudette. Peter and Claudette sound cool together. Kind of like some run of the mill indie folk rock band.

Liam, my kitten, is good too. He's making Kat run around which is good for her. She was getting pretty sedentary before. They have their problems, but they're not big. A few hisses here and there.

I think that I should just have a Vlog. I mean, like, seriously. I can convey emotions so much better with hand gestures and inflection as opposed to just mere words; even though I think that I'm pretty good at this too. Maybe I think it would just be more fun than this. I'd WANT to do that. Rants would be great. I don't know; I probably won't but I'm thinking about it. No one reads this anyway, but if I just stopped, I'd be a bit sad about it.

I start school on the 12th of January. That should be fun, I'm looking forward to it. I missed most of the first half because of rehab and now I have to reorganize all of my therapy sessions around my classes but that shouldn't be too bad. Therapy is getting cut down to twice a week anyway, so that's good.

Now to talk about Nicky.

He's pretty good. He's all old now... 20. It's weird to think because he was 17 going on 18 when I first met him and now he's like, 20 which isn't much older but it just seems older because it's a new decade that he's beginning. Yesterday he told me that he would grow out his beard again which is exciting. I love his beard; it's so scruffy and my hair sticks in it. I'm also growing some facial hair. Mutton chops for the win. Nicky likes them so far, he said that they're cute. He likes petting them, haha.

Aside from that, I don't have much to say about my life. I mean, I don't do much other than hang out with friends. We just do random things, I guess. Baking cookies is an almost nightly occurrence though.

Ah, ok. I've got something to talk about.

Last night, Dildo and Kelly came over with their babies, Dillon and Liam. They're only like, 5 months old. Twins. Dildo and Kelly have their hands full... 3 kids. =.| They're like, 18 and they already have 3 kids. Technically Aiden isn't Dildo's, but he treats him like he is. He's a really good father, even though he's a little burnt out. He doesn't do all the shit he used to do, which is cool because neither do I, so we have that in common. Both of us have trouble hanging out with the people we used to because they all just smoke and drink and do all that other shit. Kelly was a big part of making him stop because she hated that about both of us.

So yeah. That's about it.

-Peter

So, I've been curious about something...

2010-11-27T02:19:00.000-08:00

As the title suggest, I have been very curious about something. This something is kind of like suicide, but it's more. It's more... masochistic and it's more passionate. Not that I'm saying that suicide itself isn't masochistic and passionate... but this FORM of suicide is more masochistic and passionate than most that I've come across.

The details are fuzzy, but essentially it involves a (male) person stabbing himself in the heart and bleeding to death.

Now, ok. I can imagine killing myself. I have and I've tried. I have also (clearly) failed. Several times... but the point it, I don't think I could do it by means of stabbing myself in the chest. That's a very personal thing to do, not to mention extremely difficult. All instincts are telling you that you can't do that and you have to fight each and every one of them. It's almost like getting the resolve to pull the trigger to blow your brains out... but perhaps a bit more. Because not only are you physically pushing the blade into your skin, but you're also doing it right into your chest. It's symbolic.

So, don't get me wrong. I'm not saying that this is great or that I condone it or anything like that. I'm merely discussing a point that I find interesting, as this is my blog and I can do that. I just don't want anyone getting the wrong idea from what I'm saying, which I normally wouldn't care about so much in this environment... but, this is a very personal thing for me, and I take extra care when discussing it.

I feel like I'm going to get very personal from this point in. I've never had a problem getting personal... as much as I have a problem with how people react when one gets personal with them. It's annoying, yet understandable. It's difficult not to feel uncomfortable when someone shares something with you that takes them to a vulnerable point. It's almost as if accidentally walking in on them changing. It's slightly embarrassing and bluntly... it's awkward. I get awkward when people share extremely personal things with me... and I notice others reacting like that when I do it... or when others do it and I'm merely a witness. Though, often times you learn something you'd never learn otherwise when you step back and observe.

But, anyway, I'll get personal now...

I've attempted to commit suicide three times. The first time, I was 13. I wasn't trying to kill myself for any profound reason, I was merely curious about death. At that point, I'm not sure I even had a complete grip on reality enough to realize that I couldn't come back if I died. I had tried to drown myself in the bath tub... which, now... is laughable, admittedly. The second time I attempted, I was 15. I tried to overdose on painkillers after a bad break up. To sum up that story in a neat little package, he hit me, I gave him chances, then he broke up with me, and I was broken. I couldn't fix the situation in my own mind, and I was nothing. And, if I was nothing mentally and emotionally, I was determined to make myself nothing physically as well. So, I took the pills and woke up two days later in the hospital. I was found by me friend, he saved my life, and he got me back on my feet. The third time, I was 16. My friend died, I jumped out of a window. That's it. I failed on that mission, but I'm rather glad. Upon reflection, that would have been a mistake.

I don't think that, at any of these points, I was emotionally stable to the point where I could have the confidence to hold a knife to my chest and stab myself. I was always detached from myself at least a little. There's no wavering when you're stabbing yourself in the heart. None. Even a second thought, and the action would stop immediately.

The absolute resolve doesn't scare me. No, I've had that. It's just... the absolute resolve to be the taker. To be the one that makes the final action that does it.

I guess this is a strange thing to post about. Especially since my mind just wandered here... I mean, it's not something I was dwelling on... it just rested in my head and I had to think about it and I suppose discuss it on here. I'm not fully satisfied with what I've said, as I feel like there's more to say, I just cannot verbalize it at this time. It's an awkward feeling, you know.

Until.

-Peter

Well now, posting again.

2010-11-25T22:42:00.000-08:00

I don't have much to say, I guess. I could go on forever saying absolutely nothing about everything. It's my claim to fame and my one and only skill. I think I just like the sound of my keys when I type. It's a ot like someone liking the sound of their own voice, I suppose, but as I don't like that I stick to typing out my thoughts and imposing them upon the internet where people aren't necessarily forced to read them... but boredom makes one come across some strange things. Who knows, maybe there's someone out there who wants Peter to just stop typing.

Today, I was presented with something like that. Apparently, I'm an asshole. Do I care? Not really. I fully acknowledge that I'm an asshole. The fact that the girl who thinks so couldn't tell me to my face, but instead her friend told me... is sad, at best. At worst, it's downright pathetic. I'm kind of surprised that it took so long for the conflict to arise, as I feel like I haven't changed so much in the last few weeks.

Actually, I feel like I've been more the same these last few weeks than any other time of my life. I'm not sure why that is, especially since it was the time of my life when I probably should have changed the most. It's just that the things about me that changed don't matter so much to me so I don't acknowledge them. I guess that's right. I'm not sure. I haven't fully analyzed the situation yet, so when I do I'll get back to you.

Maybe that's what I'll do now so that I have something to say.

Well, over the last few weeks/months I've gone into a depressed stupor that lead me to drink heavily on top of taking superfluous pain killers. Why did I do this? I would say that I did it BECAUSE I was depressed, but it's more that I was regretful. Which, is something that I hate to say but, is pathetic. The biggest reason I was regretful was that I had never told someone that I loved them, even though it was blatantly obvious that I loved them to the fullest extent of my or anyone else's heart. Before I could tell him, he passed away. I've mentioned this guy, Daniel, before.

This year, was strange for me. His mother contacted me and gave me a disk with my name on it that was among his possessions. She had spent the better part of a year and a half trying to find me. That was strange to me because I didn't realize that I would be that difficult to track down. ANYWAYS. She did and she gave me the disk which turned out to be a little film he was making for me. It started off with him acting goofy, sitting on his couch like he had just rolled out of bed with a cup of tea, a muffin, and his newspaper still next to him. It was like I was sitting with him. His cat even walked across the back of the couch from time to time. After he talked for a little while about things I don't want to talk about here, it cut to a montage of clips of us that he had filmed. Just... us being us and hanging out and being together. That's when I lost it, during those. Then it cut back to him talking some more... and he told me that he loved me and yeah. I watched that thing all day every day for almost a week.

That's when I started drinking. Ooh, fun fun.

Then I went to rehab... now, I admit that I do have my problems with drinking. I guess I could be considered an alcoholic, though I have far greater problems than that.

After I was in rehab and therapy, I came out taking more pills that I was supposedly addicted to as well as a brand new long list of things wrong with my brain. This... didn't surprise me, I guess. I don't know why, it would surprise any reasonable human being... especially since I don't exactly agree with all of it. But, whatever. I'm not the practitioner.

Among the already known Bipolar disorder and Clinical Depression, I was diagnosed with Hypersexuality, PTSD, and Narcissism. I wasn't aware that Narcissism was a mental problem as much as a personality type, but you learn something new every day. I go to three different therapists, three times a week. You would think this would change me. You'd think the mere knowledge of all this would change me. But, no. Apparently, the only thing that's changed about me is that I'm more of an ass than I was before? I'm not so sure that I am. I think that some people are just more sensitive than they were before, but it's not my judgment to call.

I feel like all this is wasted on me... more than anything because I cannot take my therapists or counselors seriously. 90% of the time, I feel mentally superior to them, though that just may be that pesky Narcissism. But, I am going to go ahead and say that they don't make sense and they tell me everything I already know about myself. It's disheartening to know that they seemingly have no help for me.

It's frustrating, I guess, but it's the revelation (albeit, a minor one) that I've come to. This isn't really an analysis of my current situation, but it's something, I guess. I don't really have too much more to say on the matter as I believe that I should probably go to bed. It's nearly two am. I do have some kind of things to do tomorrow, so that's it.

-Peter

Well, I haven't posted in nearly a month...

2010-11-23T15:58:00.000-08:00

But, to be fair, I'm still getting back into the swing of real life. Also, I'm adjusting to managing having a legitimate social life with having none at all... which is what I call it when I'm on the Internet for more than 4 hours at a time... like today. Gah.

I've also learned that I hate almost all the music on my iTunes. Why is this? Because it's on shuffle. So, of course it never lands on what I WANT do desperately NEED to hear. ANYWAY...

I've been alright. I've been... going to this new place. It's called "outside". Apparently, it's not actually new. I just hadn't heard that it existed until recently; but, it's really great. There are people there. REAL PEOPLE! And things to do. It's quite a miraculous discovery. I feel like I may have heard of it a long time ago... but it was lost to me.

I'm also hungry. I want food. There is no food. This sucks.

Nicky's birthday is in 10 days, which is kind of cool. He's going to be 20. I'm not sure what we're doing or anything, but we'll see. Something great has to come up. Maybe we'll go skating again like we did over the summer when he broke me. Perhaps that's a bad idea... I don't know, we'll think about it.

Harry Potter tl;dr

We went to see Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1 at the midnight premiere. That was pretty rad. The movie, in general, was a lot better than some of the previous ones. It kept to the book for a lot of it, however, for being a "character driven movie" I did not understand why they decided to change Harry's character as in his mannerisms.

This observation can be noted from the scene when Hedwig is killed. First of all, they glorified Hedwig and her death. I'm not saying that I have something against her or anything, but that's not how she died. She didn't die a hero saving Harry's life. She died in her cage and then Harry dropped it out of the sidecar. She didn't give Harry away as the real Harry, though that is a viable explanation, it's just not the real one. The real explanation was that Harry was identified by the spell he chose to defend himself with. Expelliarmus.

The usage of Expelliarmus in duels of this caliber is almost unique to Harry. All the others use Stupefy or even Avada Kedavra; Expelliarmus has become a sort of signature spell for Harry. In the movie, he uses Stupefy. It's a minor point, but I think that it deserves to be looked at. One would think that it would have been easier for the director to keep that part the same... but, perhaps that's wrong. Who knows.

The effects were decent. I liked the gold sparks shooting out of Harry's wand to meet Voldemort's. Those were pretty rad. However, the Patronuses once again are a let down. Patronuses are NOT glowing orbs with weird tentacles. They just aren't. I don't understand why that is how they're portrayed in the movies. They're animals. Kingley's is a lynx. Kingley's is a lynx. Kingley's is a lynx. They used the doe patronus... why couldn't they use the lynx...? Who knows.

Dobby's death was done nicely. I feel like he was given the respect that he deserves, fictional character or not. I didn't like all the contrived speeches he made though. I felt like Dobby wouldn't have, especially the character of Dobby that the movies create. They don't even mention Dobby after the second movie, I believe... and now he's back and making speeches like he's the head of the mother fucking state. Hermoine was supposed to be unconscious for practically the last 20 minutes of the movie... and yet she wasn't. No one helped Harry with Dobby's grave in the book, unlike the movie in which he was helped by several friends, and I was kind of disappointed that he didn't carve a tombstone for Dobby reading "Here lies Dobby, a free elf.".

The directing in general, I felt, was not great. The movie went through events too quickly for comprehension. I myself have read the book 6 or 7 times and I got lost a few times. The movies generally tend to take place in the bracket of a year and this one was meant to be about half the year... but it felt more like 2 weeks, maybe a month, tops. It was awkward and the transitions didn't help. They shot from one scene to the other without flowing.

There was key information left out. Such as, the identity of the woman with the snake in her. Of course, those of us who've read the book would know it was Bathilda Bagshot, but what about people who hadn't? She's just a freak with a snake in her trying to kill Harry Potter with a painting of a handsome man in her living room.

There was odd information added in. Harry and Hermoine's dance... uhm what? No. Why was there a scene in which Harry and Hermoine seemed to consider being more than just friends? That never happened. In the book, after Ron leaves, Harry couldn't get as much as a smile out of Hermoine because she missed Ron so much and blamed herself for not going with him. She never loved Harry as anything more than a friend and they never had a moment in which they mutually did. It was superfluous and it veers off course. I'd like to point out that ONCE AGAIN, for having a character driven movie, they changed the characters a good bit.

A few other things I wondered about were why every serious line that Ron was supposed to have was turned into a punchline... in my theater, every time he said something serious hilarity ensued. It may have been the low-wit idiots in Theater 3, but I doubt that. I was also curious as to why no one really worried when George nearly died... though, I was glad he got to keep his "holey" joke. Now that I think of it, the movie was as if they took the criticism for the 5th movie (Order of the Phoenix) and applied it to this one.

The criticism for the 5th movie was that it was dark and there was never a happy moment, not really anyway. The argument for that is that that is how the book is. There is literally never a happy moment, but it's the keystone to the series and is essential for sense making. The 7th movie is almost as if they knew it would turn out to be dark without a lot of happiness and then ending on a sad note unless they made everything a joke. This, to me is not a good methodology for movie making, but what do I know? I'm not a director. I just happen to know what works for me and what doesn't.

Anyway, I think I dweebed over the movie enough.

There's a squirrel in my wall... I've named her Rebecca. She makes Liam freak out and try to climb the walls... it's adorable. For those of you who don't know, Liam is my kitten. Nicky got him for me while I was in rehab. Also, for those of you who haven't heard, Midge passed away two weeks ago. It was a sad time for the two of us, but we're carrying on. Nicky was especially broken up. He's a sensitive little guy.

I think we're going to have a quite Thanksgiving just for the two of us.

That's all, for now, I suppose.

-Peter

Now for a more indepth look at my life over the past few months.

2010-10-28T08:32:00.000-07:00

Alright, well, let's start back in May. I'll get right into the action since my life seems to be more of a Greek Tragedy than a slow, drawling Romantic Comedy at the moment. Anywho. Nicky and I drove up to Massachusetts, stopping in New York, with Alex, my mom, Mitch, and Elena. We had a joint bachelor party... Which consisted of me getting uncomfortably close with a female stripper. Fortunately, it was buffered by the presence of blood in my alcohol stream. I've seen the pictures, but I don't believe them. I don't remember anything from that night. I woke up half naked next to a stripper who was also pretty naked. These facts do not sit well with me. But, that's ok. I know for a fact that no one else drank that night. Or got uncomfortably close with a female stripper... or a male one, at that. Except Mitch. He was happy that Elena left the room and he was free for once.

So, the day after that, we drove to this little place where this guy married us. We exchanged rings, kissed, the whole shebang. It wasn't that special. It wasn't profound. It wasn't life-altering. It was just the next step. We still count our anniversary from the very first day and the anniversary of the wedding will just be a day where we will have sex regardless of what happens. Since we're on the subject of anniversaries... it will be two years that Nicky and I have been together on Sunday. Now, back to the story. We got married, we had a first dance, which was cute. Then, we drove back home.

The next week after that, Nicky's brother, Mitch, got married. His bachelor party was great. Probably better than ours,but moreso because I got drunk again and so did Nicky. After their wedding, they went on a honeymoon to Tahiti. Tahitit. Yeah. It was a present from Nicky's father... but, Mitch, being the adorably dumb little guy that he is said that he wouldn't accept it unless Nicky got one too because it's only fair as he was recently married and their father hadn't even said congratulations to Nicky. So, he conceded and we ended up going to Orlando to the Harry Potter Amusement Park. That was rad, but on one day, we almost got kicked out for lewd behavior... which would have been a rad story, to be honest. Life should happen for people to tell about it in humorous anecdotal form.

While we were away, my friends Kelly and Dildo had their twins. I've recently learned that their names are Liam Joseph and Dillon Jaime. They're really cute and the Liam one is named after me because I was promised. Liam is cuter than Dillon. Why? Because Peter is better than Dildo. Yes. I miss them both, I should go home and visit soon. Perhaps the weekend after this one. I miss my mother too... which is strange to me because I never miss her. On the contrary, I'm usually thrilled to be rid of her. I don't know why it's changed now.

In August, Nicky broke my wrist and tore my rotator cuff in my shoulder. We went roller skating and he said he could. Well, he can't. We were going on a straight path when he got out of control... and bumbled into me... knocked me down... snapped my wrist with his knee... and ripped the shit out of my shoulder... =.D I was in a cast for 6 weeks but my shoulder still is not the same. I will haunt Nicky with this every time we raise our voices, if that ever happens. In the last two years, it never happened once out of anger... which is strange and wonderful.

Also in August... my mother announced that she is, in fact, pregnant. This isn't awful... or bad at all, really. I actually think I might care for this child. She's about five months along now, but she's keeping the sex a secret until it's born. I'm trying to think of awesome names for it though that sound good with mine. Her boyfriend, Cristian, also proposed to her... and they're getting married next June, which is pretty swell. She asked me to be her "Man of Honor" and Nicky and a few other guys are going to be her "Bride's Men" while Cristian has a "Best Maid" and "Groom's Maids".

Now, the fun part. Mid August. I guess I was probably drinking a bottle and a half of wine a day, supplemented with whatever else I happened to have lying around. I was sad. I was thinking too fast. I wanted to slow down. So, I did. I've always taken a lot of pills. Well, not always, but since I was maybe 13. I'm clinically addicted to oxycontin. Still am, and will be forever, I guess. There isn't much to say about it, but it basically means that I can't take narcotics for anything, even if the doctor tries to prescribe them. I have to say no. I definitely did not hit rock bottom back in August though. Rock bottom was when I was 15, but that is not a useful contribution to this story, and if anyone cares, ask. I don't think I would just come right off and talk about it otherwise. But, yeah. I agreed with Nicky and Alex that I needed help and they shipped me off to rehab for six long weeks.It wasn't great. It wasn't horrible. I met a friend, Justin. He's pretty rad. I go to therapy three times a week now. Mondays, Tuesdays, and Wednesdays. All different therapists with different specialties focusing on different aspects of my life.

While I was going to therapy in rehab, I was diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Hypersexuality (which sounds more awesome than it is), among other things like anxiety and whatnot. They reinforced the fact that I'm chronically clinically depressed and that I have Bipolar Disorder as well. They put me on 7 medications to see which I react to the best and they suggested other shit too, like hypnosis and shocks. I was just like, fuck yourself with your electro-shock therapy. I have a bad enough memory as it is. I did get an iq test though, and my iq is 171. Which is pretty fucking rad... but also, pointless and depressing. ANYWAY. Nicky got us a kitten, his name is Liam... Nicky also furnished the apartment that we leased before school ended. I had to fix a few things and move stuff around, but it's good now.

And this brings us back to the present. The land of Peter and Nicky. I start college in January, since I missed half of the first semester. I made all those arrangements, which was mentally draining... and, uhm yeah. That's about it. I went to the market this morning and bought some fruit... so, rad.

That's it, I guess. If I remember anything else of dire importance, I'll just say it.

But, until then,

-Peter

Back From Rehab.

2010-10-24T09:24:00.000-07:00

That was beautiful, wasn't it? Rehab. Woo.

Well, now I'm back and I have a lot to say... Back at the end of May, Nicky and I got married in Massachusetts. that was pretty great, haha. We also went to the Harry Potter Amusement Park for our Honeymoon which was even better. Then, hm. Nicky and I leased an apartment... and I broke my wrist, but that healed now... and I went to rehab. And now I'm back. My mom is pregnant. I can't think of anything else.

-Peter

Farmer's Market

2010-04-24T18:07:00.000-07:00

Before I get into describing my trip, I shall mention by friend Zach because he reads these because he cares about my feelings unlike everyone else who doesn't read these because they don't care about me.
./waves to Zach

Oh my god. Nicky and I drove two hours… to this place. The was full of inbreeds and immigrants.

On the way there, we passed this farm. It had these humongous cattle. They were at least twice the size of your average cattle. They were ridiculous. On the ride back, I had Nicky stop at the farm so we could ask what they were. the nice old man said that they were Simmental Cattle and they were from Switzerland. He also invited us in for something to drink, and to be polite, we did seeing as we just barged in on him… even though he said he was pleased for the company. He’s 83 and he lives with his 86 year old brother. they take care of the entire farm by themselves. I was amazed.

At the actual Farmer’s Market… oh my god. It was horrible. It was like a Hick-Mall. Everyone was clearly inbred and/or an immigrant. Some of the stores were rad though. There was an old school vinyl store and they had all these sick records from 60’s… Steppenwolf, The Doors… it was awesome.

Then there was this… hippie store. It had so much tie dye. haha. And Grateful Dead. Can’t forget that. That store is where I got my slippers! They’re really warm.

I wanted this sweater but it was like, $70 so I was like HELL NO.

Then we stoped at this little place that had a glass case… and I was looking. It was NativeAmerican inspired craft and was generally pretty sweet. There was a lot of turquoise and silver and I got to looking for something in particular. The didn’t have it. HOWEVER, across the aisle was another case and I went to it and looked and my dream came true. I was so shocked. I called Nicky over right away and pointed and hopped and it was cute. I was like ZOMFG NICKY ZOMFG LOOK LOOK THERE IS IS ZOMFG THE HAVE THEM. Them refers to a four winds ring.

It’s amazing. Turquoise set in silver, and it’s actually two rings, but the one is set in the other so it rotates freely. Around the edges, it’s etched with Hebrew lettering which translates to “Father of the four winds, fill my sail across the sea of years”. I’ve wanted one ever since I heard the song Four Winds by Bright Eyes and researched the song. I would wear it on my ring finger but that is taken by my engagement ring, so I’m going to put it on a chain and wear it as a necklace. While I was telling Nick about it, the sales woman came over and started reiterating what I just said. I felt smart for knowing already and being able to identify it. It was such an obscure chance that they had one too.

We bought a sody and stood by the produce for awhile… and then, I just hear this inbred bitch across the aisle from us say “anorexic prostitute” and then “transvestite” and she kept looking at me. Obviously I did not like this. but, instead of getting mad, I got bitchy and I looked at her, and then at Nicky and I said loudly, “Nicky, How do you think I’d look with tits?” and he looked confused and then I said, “I should ask that girl over there where she got her tits done… so I know not to go there. They’re lopsided and look fake.” and the got this look on her face and Nicky and I just walked away. He was still confused though. I had to explain.

I was disgusted by some of the shops. One in particular made me want to throw a hissy fit. It advertised a “real live ‘gator” so, Nicky and I went to go check out “Wally the ‘Gator”. Low and behold, we see a 6 foot long tank with this poor creature sitting on astro turf with a landscapiing pond for a pool. It was sickening. I teared up out of sheer anger that someone would do such a thing to the alligator. As we were leaving, there was an announcement about how they were going to do the show of feeding Wally some chickens. I didn’t understand how it was even allowed. It’s disgusting.

Then we left and we drove back to the farm as I said that had the cattle. Then, we went to Barnes and Nobles and I got a book and Nicky got a book. Then we both got coffee and we got back in the car. Then we drove a little ways and Nicky was holding my hands and he pulled the car over behind the scenic overlook… and we had some fun… =.) After that, we came home and now Nicky is making himself a hot pocket.

Now I’m sitting in my room with my slippers on glancing through my book and finishing my coffee and my tea. Yes, I do sometimes have two drinks like Shelby does. We’re soul mates. Anywho, stay classy,

-Peter

partyhardy.

2010-04-22T18:31:00.001-07:00

Today was pretty sick, actually.

I am genuinely pleased with 99% of my day.

Ok, so, this morning… I didn’t want to go to school. However, Nicky literally ripped me out of bed and made me. Mean, huh? Yeah. But whatever, I doubt I would have enjoyed my day otherwise.

Then, we got to school about 20 minutes early… and we were just talking… and then I crawled onto him and we had a nice, long kissie. He commented about how lovely I smelled too, so that’s a plus.

Then school was just school in the morning. I started drawing this rad caterpillar-inspired extra terrest. Second block I slacked… and did nothing except mat my charcoal still life. Lunch… well, I’m going to say I was glad I didn’t get any food. Dildo and Kelly are… disgusting… in a cute way. Allow me to explain, our table is very small and we have a large amount of people. We combined two tables but it’s still too small for all of us. Three tables makes it impersonal. So, we stack up. today I ended up with Lauren on my lap across from Dildo who had Kelly on his lap. Now, this was fine… until he got frisky. Then, I just see his hands move from her waist… up to her shoulders… the down to her tits momentarily… and then down under the table. Lovely. Even better when she stood up though. His hands both went around her leg and then traced up to her stomach, pushed her shirt up, and then he put his mouth on it and moved his hands back down to around her leg. As I said, disgusting but cute.

English… was… sad. Pathetic sort of sad. Ms. T was leaving the room a lot… and when she did, this asshole net to me would talk to the kid in front of him and say things like “Would you eat her out for a million dollars?” “You think she takes the time to flip up her titties to wash under them?” “Would you rip her nose hairs out with your teeth for a million dollars?” “You could motorboat her and lick her pussy at the same time!” AND THEN THE BEST LINE EVER. After one guy said, “Would you date her for a billion dollars?” another guy said no. then, the first guy said and I quote, “But a billion is a million dollars times a million.” I was sitting there like, buddy you better hire an accountant. >.>

Then, during English, I got called away to my first anger management meeting… it was actually… really… rad. I never met the group leader. He’s fucking awesome. The whole time, he’s there like, preaching being free and loving and peace. It’s just so… not what I expected. He put on The Doors and all this other sick music from the 60’s to “burn off our negative emotions though positive jams”. Needless to say I wish it was every day.

That lasted about an hour then, and I wen to ceramics… I attempted something but it failed so I squashed it. Then I stayed after school until like, 2:30. Mitch picked me up and drove me to Nicky’s job. Nicky got out early, like 3 ish.

Then he told me something interesting… his mother called him… and told him about how for awhile now they have been installing a hot tub and since it was done, he should come over. He said it was clearly bribery. But, lest, we went and though I hate water and hot tubs and everything that correlates between them, it was fun. Like, a lot of fun. It was like a little date. I refused to get my hair wet though. We only hung out there until like, 5.

After we dried off and left his house, we went to go get a drink. As we went to go get a drink, we also went to Target and I got three killer cardigans and a pair of tights and I found two sweaters for Nicky and some cute little socks. After Target, we went to the craft store and bought some watercolor paper, illustration board, and these cute little plastic kitties that we are currently playing with. We left there and then we went to McDonalds because i had to pee really bad, but we didn’t buy any food.

Now we’re home and like I said, we’re playing with the kitties. Nicky keeps making his hump mine fiercely.
So, yeah. Like I said, 99% enjoyable. I’m still happy too, even after logging onto aim. That’s a bloody miracle. Anyway, stay classy.

-Peter

Today... suuuuuuuuuuuuuuucked.

2010-04-20T12:38:00.000-07:00

It started out as good. There was a chick fight… and it wasn’t a stupid little hair pulling thing. This girl punched the other girl in the back of the head and she went flying into a desk and then the girl who punched, jumped on the other girl and just kept hitting her and shit. Then, this kid like, bear hugged her from behind and pulled her off the other girl, but she still had a hold of the girl and she was kicking and screaming and then… it was over. Short, clean, concise.

THEN IT GOT SHITTY.

I was in English talking to Dildo and this other girl. I said, and I quote myself, “That bitch should have smacked the shit out of her.” Having said that, the girl’s sister is sitting right behind me. Ok, whatever. she gets up and gets in my face and starts screaming at me. I laughed at her and told her to get the fuck out of my face. Then, she started with her hands in my face, so I put my hands on her shoulders and shoved her back so she would get the fuck away from me. So, she decided to be a bitch and comes at me like she’s going to slap me and I grabbed her hand and smacked her and then she stepped back, came at me again screaming and I pushed her again. then that was over AND THEN I get in school for a day and she didn’t get shit. Lovely. That’s cool too.

So, I sat in the office for… maybe two hours. After I got out of the office, I was supposed to go to class, I guess but I just found Dildo and we left. There was only like, 20 minutes left of school anyway and he has pegs on the back of his bike so I cols just ride along.

I smoked the first cigarette I’ve had in months today because of this.

However, yesterday was good. I was in a lovey mood when got home from school. Then, when Nicky got home from work, he was lovey too. So, we just spent time together playing Adorable Couple. It was fun.

We watched Adam and I cried like I did the first time when they kiss. We were just cuddled up on the couch with a blanket and tea. It was nice. Then, we went out to dinner, but I didn't really eat much though. Then we kissied in the car for a really long time... and then we drove home... and kissied on the couch for a really long time... and then we went upstairs... and kissied on our bed for a really long time... and then we cuddled and just talked about things and kissied some more and cuddled.

It reflected the lovey mood nicely.

But, that's all I have to say now, I guess. Stay classy.

-Peterrr

bum diddle iddle iddle dum diddle ah.

2010-04-18T17:07:00.000-07:00

Well, last night was… uhm… interesting. Waking up this morning was even more interesting.

Last night, I met this really nice guy on omegle, Randy. He’s pretty cool. We talked for a few hours and then like, we had to go to sleep. Not that I could go to sleep easily… I mean, I had to push Alex down the hall to the guest room and tuck him in. That is not an easy task. He’s very heavy to push and there’s a lot of him to tuck in. Let alone his grabbing at me and poking and untucking. >.> Then I tucked Nicky in and then I tucked myself in and we went to sleep. I woke up at 8:30 to find Alex squeezed into out bed wrapped around me to the point where I was like, not breathing… which is probably what woke me up. Of course Nicky found it hilarious. >.>
Then we made breakfast and ate and watched a movie and blah blah blah. Alex left… 20 minutes ago, and he just called me to tell me he’s home safely, so that’s good. He should come over more often, I like when he visits, even if he and Nicky are meannnn to me. >.>

This is what I had to say about last night, posted on my Tumblr here.

Nicky and Alex are so mean to me. Really. I am objectified like the token fem fem at a Super Bowl party. >.>

What is it with bi guys and tender cuts of meat… Nicky says sexy lamb chops, Alex goes on about Filet Mignon… I’m just like, whoa now. Cannibals.

I also have a To Watch/RE-watch movie list about a mile long… MI:1,2,3… From Paris, With Love, Seven, Adam… gah. I’mma die.

And… I’m so stressed about this college stuff… like, I’m trying to figure out if it’s worth it. Like, I know it is… but… it isn’t… and I just want to get there and experience it instead of going through all this garbage to get there.

It also feels like I’m buried in kittens. If you know me… you know that my dream is to be buried in kittens… so… that’s one good thing coming from Nicky + Alex. Alex’s head is like, on my stummy and it feels like a kitten… and Nicky is on my shoulder feeling like a kitten… and Kat is on my legs… doing the same.

Earlier… I had a weird experience. Something that makes me think that I’m fucked up in my head, but not really but I don’t know. Alex got here and he greeted me with a kiss like he always does… and then… he greeted Nicky with a twin kiss which was new. Now, history has been made with nicky and Alex and me, but as I said, history. Nothing really since. A neck kiss is as far as it went… but today Alex kissed Nicky and instead of being mad like I would have with anyone else besides him… but, in this case, I liked it and it intrigued me.

Great. And Nicky is flipping a shit because of the Mets game. >.> 16th inning with no score? I guess. I think that’s what he said. I don’t know. I don’t care. He doesn’t even like the Mets. He likes Baltimore. Because he’s from Maryland.

Finally, I’ll wrap this up with my need to buy list.

The Outsiders
Watercolor board
Pens
New tights
Socks
Undies
Shorts
V necks
Cereal… A lot and badly.

Welp, that's all. Stay classy,

-Peter

Orly.

2010-04-12T13:00:00.000-07:00

Today was interesting. I found out a lot of things. On Friday, after school, Dildo broke up with Antoinette and now he's going out with Kelly because, if I understand correctly, they "have a thing for each other". Which is all well and good, seeing the situation. However, Kelly was not in school today. I guess she told her parents on Saturday night and they got a doctor's appointment for her for today. So, I spent the day with Dillydooper.

In first block, there was literally nothing to do at all. So, I just skipped out and met up with Dildo in the bathroom.We chilled there and he seems kind of... like, upset about the situation at large. Completely understandable. I'm just trying to be there for him and give him someone to talk to when he needs it and someone to lean on. Then, when second block came up we went to that art class which was the same situation as the first. However, this class got to order food from a deli and this girl brought doughnuts too. So we got food and I traded one of my penguin rubber bands to this girl for a dinosaur rubber band. It's pretty sweet.

After we ate, we all just sat around in the empty art room and skipped a half hour of third block/lunches. After lunch, Haylyn saw me and bitched me out because I "think I'm cool because I skip classes". I was like, uhm, not really. I just think that the classes suck and I'd rather not waste my time. But, whatever. She can go pet her pussy.

English went fast just being in class. We have a test tomorrow. >.> then Dildo and I skipped the first half of Ceramics and we sat together in the new hallway they made. They haven't installed cameras yet, so it's ideal. I did what Peter does best. Comforted someone with cuddles and kissies. There was slight redness on his neck when we were done. ;3 It's good to know that even though now that he's going to be a dad, he's still not completely straight and neither of us will truly be taken.

I got home... and I ate an apple... and I came up to my room... and there's jizz on my bed. Ugh. Sloppy. I washed it out as best I could with a wash cloth. Nicky and I have to be more careful. Last night was fun though, jizz or no jizz.

And that was today, and this is the other day:

Nicky and I went to buy envelopes, not stamps as I earlier misunderstood. Envelopes. Why? I’m still not sure. Nicky was vague… but, honestly. what could he possibly be doing. His mom probably asked for them.
But, yeah. We went to Target. I love Target. So much. It’s unhealthy. I can always find something I like/want/need. This time was no different. I found a pair of tights that I put on as soon as we got home and these cute little socklets. They’re grey and hey have black trim, dots, and bows. The tights are adorable. Like, they’re black but they have a pattern. It’s like a maze. I also got some new undies and I found some assorted colored v-necks for Nicky. I made him try them on and he was adorable.

We also bought Adam, because it was on my dash the other day and reminded me of how I liked it and wanted to see it again. And Nicky got this cracker jack stuff that I hate. >.> It’s so gross and it hurts my teeth.

The best thing about Target was this bitch who decided to work my last nerve. Like, she didn’t even do anything, but her tone just irked me. Nicky and I were standing at the end of an aisle looking at vacuum cleaners because we will need one come this fall. I found a purple, economically efficient one and Nicky was playing with the attachments. Then, the lady came up the aisle and was like EXCUSE ME and nicky moved that cart so she could get through. I was just like, so annoyed that she took that tone I took the piece from Nicky and whipped it in the general direction of the woman but it missed. She still turned around and gave us a dirty look, but she deserved it. I wish I had better aim.
After we went there, we drove around for three hours. the car was so comfortable and cozy and it was just nice to drive. We found his place, The colonial Pizza and Spaghetti House, in historic Easton and had dinner there. It was really good too. the pizza wasn’t greasy and it just tasted fresh.
We walked a little to the local stores and someone decided to work my last nerve again. We were just walking, holding hands and this person says “I told you!! It is two guys!! They must be gay!!” I’m just like. Is it a big deal? Honestly, have you never seen a fag before? It’s just annoying, like… ok. Get over it. I’ve seen people exclaim the same way over black people and Asians too, so I guess I should get over it. But really, no. They should.

After that, we drove around deciding what to do next and that took two hours. Then we decided on Froyo and we went to this little place. It was so good, like, they make it perfectly.

Now, I'm just waiting for Nicky to get home from work so we can hang out and see if there are any plan for the night. ;3 Stay classy,

-Peter

Hmhmhmhmhm.

2010-04-10T12:29:00.000-07:00

so, after I got off last night, Nicky and I laid down. Maybe 15 minutes later, 20 at most… and pokes me, turns on the light, and says “I’m hungry”. I told him to go get something. He said this, “I want Perkins.” So, we went to Perkins. At 4 am. That was entertaining.

As soon as we’re seated, another group is seated behind us. Three drunk college guys. Great. None of them attractive. One was okish, cute but like, nothing I’d look twice at. I couldn’t even enjoy my French Toast and tea because they were so rude too. Nicky kept laughing at them and he like, choked on his pancakes.

Then, on the ride home, we went the long way because it was cold out and the heat in car was nice… and we saw three little foxes run across the road. They weren’t together, I don’t think, but they were all within 50 feet of each other, so perhaps. After that we were just driving along and all of the sudden this big ass bear walked out in front of the car. Nicky was just like Fuck, man. I don’t know if he ever saw a bear. Probably.

Then we got home at like, 5:30. We slept until 8, then drove to the college. I handed in my papers and we toddled around town until like, noon. Then we drove home. Now we’re in my room. It’s nice in here today, it’s cool and the window is open revealing a blue sky and like, no clouds. I would like to go out for awhile, but I’m not sure what we could do. Nicky is a little sniffly today though. I hope he doesn’t get sick. He gets colds a lot, not bad ones just little ones.

I ate a grapefruit while we were out, but now I’m hungry again. Le sigh.

I also forgot my mother's birthday again. she's not even home though. Probably getting her tattoo rendered. >.> I was wondering why there was a cake-pie thing in the fridge. Oh wells. It looks gross anyway. I hate glazed fruits.

Speaking of her tattoo, I forgot to mention what she did. It's horrendous. Nicky was in the kitchen and I was in the other room, my mother walked into the kitchen in her soffes. Nicky said that the bottom of her tattoo was sticking out and he was looking at it because he didn't know what it was. Then, I walked into the room. Then, my mother lifted up the front of her shirt to show him the head. Then, she pulled up the leg of he shorts until Nicky had a clear view of not only her tattoo, but her panty-covered puss. Like, honestly. Why. does she have no shame. It's disgusting. I was furious, but it's all good now, I guess.

Yesterday, in school I found out that Dildo is the father of Kelly's baby. She was right, I did freak out. I have so many questions and neither of them will answer for me. It's bullshit. Whatever, I'll get them both on Monday.

Now Nicky has to go get stamps for... fuck only knows what... and I'm going with him.

-Stay classy, Peter

Dildo watch, day two. Still no sign of intelligent life.

2010-04-07T15:03:00.000-07:00

Le sigh. He was absent again today. And Lest, I was bored out of my mind. Of course, it wasn't all day. I went in at 10:20. I skipped the last ten minutes of class though... went down to the gym. It's the time of the semester for Volleyball and I jumped in a few games. Totally kicked ass. Then lunch.... saw bitch tits again... and like, it was just a fun lunch. A lot of laughter. Kelly wasn't in school either. Hmph. I felt bad because she was really upset yesterday and I couldn't do anything about it. Last block was boring. I just sat there layering glaze for an hour and a half and not doing anything. It was kind of fun though, funny at least like lunch.

I had to stay after school to present. That was easy and short and omnomnom. I just... enjoyed it. A lot. =.3

My mother picked me up after school and we went to a diner to get some food. I ordered "oriental vegetables on rice" and french fries. What I got was a pile of soppy rice covered in mushroom juice and a pile of canned vegetables mixed together completely unseasoned. It was disgusting. It reeked of mushrooms and it was covered in them and just... riddled. I was thoroughly sickened by the sight, smell, and taste. the french fries were god though, so I didn't leave empty stummied. However, my mother only left a $2.00 tip because she loves me today and decided to be mean to the waitress.

My mother also got a tattoo. Or, at least the linework. I'm not sure when she's getting it rendered. It's a snake that goes from her belly button and swivels down until is rests on her thigh. It's right next to her puss. I think she took her time and made it as slutty as she could... I'm like, Mother. You are not 17. Stop it. But, it's done now... like, she did it. No going back now. the tongue is like, licking her belly ring. I asked her who was even going to see it and she laughed at me like I was clueless. I gagged.

Friday night, I want to take my mom to see a movie for her birthday. Her birthday is on saturday, but Nicky and I will be out of town that day. If we get back early enough and if she's not out partying like a mofo, we might o out to dinner or have cake or something. I kind of want to go to the bookstore this weekend too, and see if they have anything that looks good.

I haven't talked to Alex in a few days, I should call him. I wonder what hes up to.

I mentioned that Nicky hid all my undies yesterday... he still hasn't returned them. I am still 'mando.

Le sigh.

I like the freedom but I loathe the feeling of zipper seams on dick. It's just like RT%BY^U$%Muy5vr.
Yeah.
Like that.

I think I'll call Alex now. So stay classy, blogger. ;3

-Peter

FLASH! OH OH! SAVIOR OF THE UNIVERSE!

2010-04-06T13:49:00.000-07:00

Today was icks. Mostly. It was good in the morning... Nicky woke me up, but I made a cocoon out of blankets and refused... but he stole my undies right off of me... and then all my others... so I'm 'mando today. I should take all of Nicky's before he gets home... hmph. Then... in the car... he made me not want to go to school even more. It wasn't fair. Absolutely no fairness at all. I never make him go to work. Well, like, twice last year I had to pry him off of me to go to work.. but yeah.

Then, Dildo wasn't in school. I was so bored and lonely. Gah. I was like... oh my godddd... time go faster... then, Kelly like... wouldn't talk. I don't know why she was upset. I kept like, trying to cheer her up and I bought her a juice box. She was still sad though. =.\ Then, Antoinette was like, a bitch to me because Dildo wasn't there. I was like, back the fuck back ho.

So, not much happened today so far. Nicky's home now, so that's good. ^.~ Stay, classy now.

-Peterr

Ignorable.

2010-04-05T21:49:00.000-07:00

Upset again. It's lovely.

Peter's always upset about something, huh?

Doesn't even matter anymore. He has no real feelings. Say whatever you want to him, about him. Accuse him of anything. Assume whatever you want about him. It doesn't fucking matter. He'll be fine. He's always fine. He's just overdramatic. He asks for it.

Let's start a problem with him and then play the victim when he speaks up. It's all in good fun.
It's a game.

He'll be fine.
He won't be upset.
Nothing upsets him.
He's nothing.

Doesn't even matter if he gets upset anyway. He'll get over it. He always does, doesn't he? He's always fine the next day. Ready to accept all apologies and act like nothing happened. Like a motherfucking puppy.

He's a real trick.

So.

2010-03-31T18:01:00.000-07:00

Great.

I'm crying.

This is fucking great.

I honestly have no idea what today is. In reality, it's really great. I have Nicky and Alex both here. We're talking, laughing. It's going well.

Yet... in my head, I have no idea. I'm just so... sad and upset today. I wasn't earlier. I was happy earlier. Now it just... sucks. I've been trying to hide from them so they don't bother asking... =.\ I just feel like... even though it's not necessarily true... I feel like I'm on the backburner with most people. I'm tired of being the one who "tries". I want other people to try for me too. I want to feel like people give a shit whether I'm around or not. Like, obviously, they do... but I don't know why I'm so difficult to please.

It's so... vexing.

My throat hurts though. It's kind of annoying. But, it's hurt for days now.

I suppose I shall describe my morning and how great it was. Really, it was great. No sarcasm.

Well, Nicky and I woke up around 7:30 and went downstairs to make breakfast and eat before Alex got here. We figured he'd get here around noon... Oh, we were wrong. He was here at 8 sharp ready for battles. My entire house served as the arena. I liked my larping outfit that I wore. It was my little black shorts, my mom's olive green tanktop, my hiking boots, a headband, messy hair, and a piece of cloth tied around my arm. I was going for fierce, but apparently I was only cute. We all had warpaint too. It was sweet and official. I took on a warrior lynx-like persona. Nicky has wolfish characteristics in his fighting styles, and Alex did his bear thing. Neither of their costumes were as cool as mine. Though, they both had warpaint, but like... Nicky wore cut off mudas and Alex had on khaki shorts. they both had on beaters... and... they had more intimidating muscles than me... especially Alex. He looks like he lifts things. ;-; Alex had on a headband. He looked like... idk. Rambo. It was scary. Nicky was not scary. He was cute.

The first battle was me against Alex. I owned him. I pinned him on the floor and had my sword to his throat and he was like, "Mercy." and then I had to battle Nicky... and Nicky beat me... by getting me on the stairs and then I had a disadvantage. Then, Nicky battled Alex and won. Then, I was fighting Alex again and then Nicky and then they fought and Nicky still won over all. Alex beat me the second time though. HOWEVER. Nicky def cheated when he battled me the second time. haha. He grabbed my ankle and I fell on the bed. I suppose it's my fault for getting up on the bed... oh well. It's his fault. =.D

then we jsut sat around for the rest of the day... Alex is making tzatziki and Nicky is making good alfredo. Like, the kind my gramps taught my mom to make and in turn she taught him. It's far superior to American alfredo in every way.

That's all for now. I feel way better now than I did when I first started typing this.

Perhaps this is a type of therapy. Who knows.

-Stay classy, San diego. ;3 Peter

./title

2010-03-29T10:24:00.000-07:00

She'll have fun fun fun til her daddy takes the t-bird away now...

Ah, yes. Beach Boys, how I love you. Nicky and I are having a mini... hmm... dance party? In my room. Yes, a dance party. For us. Featuring Supergrass, The Beach Boys, and whatever else comes on. =.D

I'm taking a break to download more though, and do this... but, yeah.

Yesterday, Nicky and I went to Barnes and Nobles and the music playing was covered and remixed Beach Boys. It was terrible. Nicky and I also went our separate ways at first, as we usually do. 20 minutes later, I passed by him and he says "Great. I get to walk past Potato Chips again." and I was confused so i turned back and asked him and he nodded ahead at this guy and said "He smells like potato chips... so I named him Potato Chips. It's disgusting and he's constantly in my way." and I started laughing so hard... and then it hit me. The smell. I was no longer laughing. I was just blank staring. And Nicky was right. I stayed with Nicky after that and the guy did show up at the ends of all the aisles he walked down. It was creepy. >.>

Also, over the past few days I've had to deal with some of the most pathetic people ever. It's kind of funny but also sad... like, people that have such sad lives that they have to expand into other people's lives just for a few kicks. It's like, really? haha.. Instead of bothering to hate on someone else, just ignore them. It's not hurting you. Only you're making it bother you... and frankly, it's bothering everyone around you. But still, it continues... haha. I try not to laugh because it's not funny.. it's sad. We should feel bad for them, but I find it hard to feel bad for anyone anymore. Everyone wants it too much. Pity and Fame. Those are the goals in life, haha.

I think Wednesday is the chosen day for Battles with Alex. It will be awesome. I called him about it today... he was so down. Like, he was like... idk. But, it was great.

I also answered the phone this morning... and it was my therapist. I was like, great what the hell do you fucking want? And like, he said that since I don't come to see him anymore, he was going to make random calls to my house... to check up on me... and talk to me... I'm like... UGH I HATE YOU DIE IN A CLOUD and he kept asking me if the Paxil was working for me and I was like sure and he kept asking me if I wanted to try a different route, like Zoloft or Celexa or Prozac. I'm like, uhm sure. Give me more drugs. I like them. He finally hung up after like, an hour. I should have our number changed.

But yeah, the music has downloaded and Imma go dance with Nicky because we're cool. =.DD

-Peter

Say it to mah face, bitch.

2010-03-26T12:52:00.000-07:00

First off, ew. There is an unidentified man in my house caressing my mother. I think she knows him because she's letting him do it. Maybe a new boyfriend. wouldn't be a shock to me. She kind of hinted about it. Well, not about a "boyfriend", but about a "guy" she is "seeing" and I think he "works with her" at her "job". Ok, done quoting.

Anywhosits. Let me continue. The title of this entry is dedicated to my lovely "friends" and how they make statuses on aim that are clearly talking to one person and well... it's annoying. Like, honestly. Say it to mah face, not to everyone else. They don't care. I know I don't.

On Tuesday night, Nicky and I quasi-decided that we're going to Vermont this summer for marital purposes. It wouldn't be recognized in Pennsylvania though. That sucks, but it's better to have an unrecognized marriage than none at all. I almost started planning it, but I was too excited and I could barely even type.

On Wednesday... well, that's really a blank. Honestly. I do not remember anything. This is sad.

Thursday... I was with my mom all day. We went to Panera's and then to Micheal's. We also went to Staples and Wegman's, but that was only for like 5 minutes. My mom bought semi-exotic fruits, such as golden raspberries. Then, we got home but Nicky had gone to play basketball with his brothers after work so I just sat around with my mom and we chilled. I guess I must have fallen asleep because Nicky woke me up at 6:30 and he chilled with us. My mom and Nicky made some food. We went upstairs for a while. Til 10 or so, and after that, I got online until like, 2 ish maybe.

Today, I woke up at 9. Then I got some food and tried to be creative. That failed. Since then, I've gone to pee about 24 times. I have peed a lot today and I have no idea why. I only drank one little juice box anyway. It's really weird. But anyway. So, I have just been sitting around trying to either draw or write something. The writing was almost successful. Almost. Drawing, no. Not at all. I failed.

Nicky gets home in about a half hour. I think I'll let him relax for a bit and then hound him to go out. I want to go to the book store and I'm really craving french fries... so, maybe Burger King. I like their fries.

Anyway, that's all.

-Peter

I really have no title. I hate coming up with them.

2010-03-22T13:23:00.000-07:00

Well, Monday. Yeah. I didn't go to school today. It just... wasn't in the cards, I guess. Instead, I stayed home and puttered around me room... made some soup... ate an orange... drank some tea... started this... thing... that... I'll finish later. Perhaps.

Last night, Nicky and I saw Repo Men. It was actually pretty good. I liked the directing and the action was rad. There was a scene where Jude Law's character took a hacksaw and whipped it around in slow motion and missed everyone' neck except the last guy and the blood spatter was awesome. Also, the ending was a complete shock. Neither Nicky nor I expected it... but, I don't want to ruin it. Even though no one reads this.

Also, last night we went to Taco Bell and Nicky got me a giant sody all for me... and I drank it and I got so hyper. I scheduled a date for larp-battles with Alex next week. It's going to be awesome. We're getting swords and shit. I also made a list of things I need, which I'll post here now:

Alex
Two plastic swords, Alex is providing his own.
a makeshift battle arena
Spring Break.
Cherry Pepsi/Sprite
Sammiches
Heman marathon
Couch cushion fort
Sweet battle names

So, yeah. some time next week, Alex is taking two days off of work to stay over and battle. It will be awesome.

I promised Nicky I'd go to school everyday for the rest of the week. Ugh. But, this is the last week before Spring Break... and that's 10 entire days including weekends. So, that's cool. I might make it a nice even 11 though... depends.

Also, I have to get Nicky good on April fool's day. I got him ok last year... I told him I was breaking up with him... he was so upset, it was so cute. Then he got me with something after that. Ah well. I'm expecting him to try something anyway. And Alex. He got me good a few times.

Ah, oh well. Stay classy,

-Peter

"This is the first birthday I spent sober since I was 14."

2010-03-20T16:37:00.000-07:00

Well, today is Alex's birthday. We spent the morning hanging out and Nicky and I took him out for breakfast. He seemed so happy. We went to his apartment after eating and we watched Fight Club and Pulp Fiction. I braided his hair even though he said no. I baked him cupcakes there and Nicky distracted him for me for like, two hours so he would be surprised, but they have a lovely scent and he noticed before they were done. Red velvet with vanilla icing ftw.

At 5, he said he had to go drive two hours to his family's house for dinner. So, Nicky went down to the car and Alex held me back and hugged me and told me how much today meant to him. He looked like he was about to cry. And now, I'm like tearing up. It really makes me happy to know he genuinely enjoyed his birthday. He deserves it more than anyone. I wish we could have stayed longer though, but I guess he kind of had to see his family.

I'm going to try to see him sometime again during the week, and I told him to keep his phone on hand and be ready for Nicky and me at any given moment. I could go harass him at work. Knock something down so he has to pick it up... I'm a nice friend, right? Ah well.

The week after this is Spring Break. I have 10 days off from school including weekends, so that's hot. Nicky has off from work too, because the owner of his job's kids are taking over for all the shifts during the break since there are like 10 of them and they're all able to.

Lastly, my mother "twisted her ankle" but, some "nice guy splinted it for her".

Now, my mother's lies always involve three things.

Her getting hurt.
Some "guy" helping her.
And no one seeing it happen.

Yeah, and then she gets mad because I don't believe her. All this happens at least twice a week. It's exhausting. She's also a hypochondriac. It's ridiculous.

But, whatever. Stay classy,

-Peter

ohai.

2010-03-17T09:01:00.000-07:00

Bjr. This week has been semi-uneventful, I suppose.

I made five days to school in a row, so today, I'm celebrating that with a gratuitous skip day. It's also St. Patrick's Day, but no one gives a shit about that because it's utterly useless to society and beer is disgusting. Even moreso when dyed green.

Anyway. I'm home today just resting and being a drain on the household. I made pancakes... with Nicky instructing me on how to do so over the phone. He's in his element when he's in the kitchen, I'll tell you that much. He almost makes me feel incompetent. But, he's very good at giving directions. Which is, pretty surprising for how poorly he follows them. I only burned on pancake and tht was the first one because I wasn't ready and it tricked me. It was ridiculous.

Now, I'm eating my pancakes with strawberries. I'd love to show everyone, but my camera is behaving... badly. I found the cord that I had lost, but it refuses to hook up to the puter and pull up the display screen. It is really quite silly. I might have to find the program disk and put it in, and I think I know where that is...

Tomorrow, I have to go to school, which is why I chose today to skip and not tomorrow. I have to stay after school and then, I have to go back to school at like, 6. It's so pointless, like it's not even important and it's a waste of precious time I could be using sitting on my ass.

I don't recall if I mentioned it or not, but on the 11th, I became a sexy, older half-brother. Yeah. My stepmom had her baby, Adrian Roman Moretti. It's weird because I suggested the name Adrian. My father loathes anything that has to do with me, but he asked me and I guess they both liked it a lot. I suppose that made me a little happy. I don't know when I'll see him, if ever. I don't really want to, but they'll probably bring him over for Thanksgiving or Christmas. I can't imagine they would bring him for Easter since it's so soon and he's so young.

I'd like to go see Repo Men this weekend. It looks good. Nicky doesn't really like seeing movies in theaters though, so maybe I'll just have to wait.

Saturday is Alex's Birthday. I should do something for him... in the least sexual way that that sentence can be taken. Other years, besides last, it was sexual, but not anymore. That's Nicky's fault. But, yeah. Maybe Repo Men for Alex. That would kill two birds with one stone... or I'll just invite Alex over and we can watch Pixar and Dreamworks for 18 hours.

Either way is fine with me.

And, that's all I have to say for now, so, stay classy.

-Peter

Maybe I'm Just The Mirror...

2010-03-14T17:54:00.000-07:00

The last few days were eventful, yet not really to be recorded.

They were ours, I suppose.

Not unlike a diary.

-Peter and Nicky

My, oh mimsy, my...

2010-03-07T18:42:00.000-08:00

I feel like telling a story... I really do.
So, here it goes...

A few years ago, I was lounging with Alex off the side of the back porch at his place... just relaxing on a nice, warm summer afternoon. We were eating blackberries with sugar and drinking wine. It was nice and quiet and everything about it made me feel happy and warm and safe. Even thinking back to it now, I feel warm and happy and safe. It's one of my most vivid memories of time spent with Alex where we weren't drunk off our asses making messes of ourselves. I mentioned that I love blackberries and that they're among my favorites of all the members of the berry clan. He agreed that he liked them quite a bit too. So, for some reason, my confidence grew. It was probably the three glasses of wine I had prior that made me tipsy-confident. Not drunk, mind you. If I was drunk, we'd have have been naked by now. Not having sex of course. No, never. Alex would have never corrupted a child. Though, his definition of corruption was skewed because he took all my virginities except the big one. Anyway, enough bitterness. Where was I... oh yes. Confidence boost. I said, "Do you love blackberries in my mouth?" and put one between my lips. I remember his face. It was slightly surprised and then he smiled and leaned over and took it from my mouth and kissed me at the same time. Then, he said "Hm, I'm not sure. I might have to try another one." And so, he did. Then, after we did the same thing for him, I got even more confidence. I suppose it's worth mentioning that, when I was 16, I didn't have a great deal of confidence. I was pretty much broken from things that had happened before. Things that I don't want to reminisce about right now. When I was with Alex though, that all went away and I could be me and I could be happy. I still can. Back then it was a more sort of way, but now it's just a best friend sort of way. And yes, confidence gains always distract me. Back to the story. I gained an inch more confidence and I laid back and asked him, "Do you love blackberries on my stummy?" (I know. I was lame and young and immature. Let me have my fun. He liked it.) and then, he shifted over and ate one off my stummy and left a little kiss there and he said he loved it a lot. then, he sat me back up and leaned back so we fell into the grass. It wasn't a far drop though. So, that's good. We laid in the grass for awhile and it was getting dusky out and there were fireflies. It was very... picturesque. In a way. And we just sat there in the grass then together and I fed him more blackberries and he fed me some and when it got dark, we pulled blankets and pillows outside and slept out there. And that's it. It wasn't special then... just, Alex and his Piper. But now it's special, because we're not the same and we don't do things like that anymore. I miss it a little, but I'm happy with what I have. Really happy, actually. Happier than I have been for a long, long time. Nicky is reading over my shoulder as I type this, and he told me he's jealous that he never had anything like this before. He never had someone to make really nice, genuine memories with before I came along. So, I'll have to make a lot more of those with him. And that's fine with me.

Stay classy,
-Peter

Oh lawwwdy

2010-03-06T00:39:00.000-08:00

Hello all.

Alex slept over last night. =.3 We drank tea at 2 am. Then, I left for school and Nicky for work while he was asleep and his alarm was set for 8 am. I checked. I assume he left for work then, because I didn't talk to him again. I'll call him again tomorrow or Sunday. It depends.

I really thought today was horrible in the beginning. Like, I felt like shit at school all day and then some kid called me bulimic and was being an ass. ;-; However, ceramics was fun because my entire table just sat there and made fun of the shitty mainstream radio playing nothing but Ke$ha and Lady Gaga so it was pretty loltastic. Far too easy though. Then I went home and had some toast and took a nap until Nicky got home. He woke me up at like, 4:30 ish. I also noticed that my mother was all dressed up. Well, not “dressed up” but she was obviously going out. so, I asked her. She said I BOUGHT A TICKET TO BLUE WITH YOU AND NICK!!!!! I was not at all surprised and I was actually not upset at all. Somewhat happy, however strange that sounds. She’s pretty cool with shit like this. Music and whatnot, that is. She introduced me to half the kickass bands I listen too. Anyway, we all drove to Croc Rock together and got there around 7 which was right when the doors opened. We got the best place to stand ever. Center stage, second row. It was awesome. I learned from experience that first row at Croc Rock sucks because everyone shoves up against you and you get a metal rod in your stummy. Not fun. you also get full blast of the bass and then you can’t hear the rest. Also sucky. But, anyway. We were waiting for the first opening band to play… and when they came up, it was like a joke. They all had hair down to their ass, all of the guys were 40 +, one had a kilt and a plastic ax strapped to his leg, one had on a plaid, tartan bed sheet tied around his neck as a cape, a chain maille shirt, plastic sword, and forearm grips that went up to his elbows that were covered in inch-long spikes, and the last guy looked like a pirate. No other words. Straight up pirate. They were like, a heavy metal band and they kind of sucked too. But, whatever, music is music. (Not really, but whatever.) By that time, I was like, swaying with Nicky and my mother was… chatting up every guy in a 10 foot radius who was under 30. Yeah. She’s 34 in April. ;-; She was flirting with a kid my age. I had to tell her to stop. Then the second opening band came on and they were all under 18. They weren’t very experienced and they weren’t very good either. The singer seemed like he had a back spasm or something. Like, it was just odd. Kind of cool, but like I said, they sucked. The next few bands were all 40 + and hard rock. I liked them. They were pretty solid.There were 6 opening bands in all, each had a half hour set. Then, this drunk guy kept feeling up my mom… and she was getting pissed. Really pissed off. I get my temper from her and if you know my temper, you can only imagine hers. But, I saw it and I pulled her arm so she would get between me and Nicky so she could calm down because she looked like she was about to run train on him. Then, he followed her over to us, and this guy who was the father of the kid my age who she was flirting with pulled the guy back by the arm and they almost fought. He was so drunk. Like, I was 4 feet from him and could smell beer and liquor on him. It was gross. So, he was semi-kicked out. Then, my mom kept talking to the kid my age. ;-; She got his phone number. ;-; Then she told me she was only messing around and that she wasn’t really going to call him. I was like, damn straight you’re not going to call him and out my “This conversation is over” face. It worked, shockingly. Then, Blue Oyster Cult came on. So, we pushed up a little bit and listened to them. The two frontmen are the only original members, but the bassist they had was ridiculous. Like, he played with Whitesnake and Quiet Riot. He was rad. My mom remembered seeing him with Whitesnake when she saw them live. The other guy who played some keyboard, guitar, and synth (I think.) was the bassist for Queen. So, that’s pretty sick. Like, they might not have all the original guys, but they have some sick people playing. Blue Oyster Cult was awesome too. My mom aid if she closed her eyes it was like seeing them back in ‘88. then they took a 10 minute break in the middle of Godzilla and they had a bass solo and then a drum solo. both were fucking amazing. Bassist = ridiculous. My mom was telling me about him. His name is Rudy Sarzo and he’s played with so many amazing bands… Dio, Whitesnake, Quiet Riot, Ozzy Osbourne, and now Blue Oyster Cult. She said she saw him a long time ago at this music fair in Philly. So then, the left the stage, but they came back for one last song. You could tell they tried to end with Don’t Fear The Reaper, but that failed when they ended up coming back. They ended really great. I got like, a 23 second recording of the bassist and how ridiculous he was, but it didn’t show his full ridiculousness. Like, his solo was fucking rad. Afterward, we all bought t-shirts. So, now we can all match. Joy. Mother-Son-Fiance bonding. It was actually a bonding experience because like, Nicky and I taught my mom how to hardcore dance and stuff. She was so funny, fist pumping to the floor. It was great. We got Taco Bell afterward. I still have my sodyyyy. Wewt. I got a lot of pictures on my good camera, I just have to find the cord so I can put them on the puter along with the SYG pics that I STILL haven’t uploaded. >.> ./failure
So, that was my day. Now I’m sitting in bed with Nicky. There was definitely more stuff that happened today, I just forget the details, so whatever. I think my mom’s old ass fell asleep by now though. She’s really quiet. ./shrug I’m not even tired though. Oh well. I think I’m going to the music tomorrow… today? Whatever. SATURDAY. (ITS SATURDAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY SATURDAYYYYY, if you get the ref, you win.) so, yeah. Musical tomorrow. It’s supposed to be really good. We won’t get home until late again though. Whatever. It’s the weekend. I don’t think I’m going to school on Monday either. It just seems pointless. I wont be there on Tuesday. Nicky and I will be in Lancaster determining my future. ;-; Blahh. I made this cool paper sculpture today, so I put that in my portfolio. It’s like, birds on planets connected by a heart rhythm thing. Yeah. Pretty badass.

I remember that Alex told me he saw Whitesnake in concert and it was one of the best concerts he's ever been to. I kind of would like to see them, but they're only playing in Bulgaria and Banja Luka this year. Yeah. Really. >.> Oh well. Another time then.

Now, I'm watching Marley and Me again. ;-; It makes me cry so much. I'm dumb for watching it.

Well, that’s it, I guess.

Stay classy.

-Peter

My nailpolish looked like confetti, but I chewed it all off now.

2010-02-28T03:59:00.000-08:00

That... thing. I have no idea where Alex even found it.

Bryson is like... just like me. It's gross. I think it's weird that Alex did that and it creeps me out. Even Nicky noticed that. He was like o.O O.o

He is like, exactly like me. You don't even understand. His behavior is just... mine. And I kept mentally noting that what he said was something that I would say. I can't figure out how Ale did it. He's just still not good enough though. Like, almost a bad imitation of me. The one major good thing is that Bryson isn't an arrogant prat, like myself, so he already knows that he ranks below me on Alex's favorite scale.

I painted my nails before we went:

They looked like confetti, but as the title of this post suggests, I chewed it all off. I'll redo it tomorrow.

So, anyway... we met up with them at Lanes and Games and Alex was a dumbass. He suggested that we play in teams. I'm like, ok. Nicky and I against you two. Oh no. I was wrong. Alex says "I call Nick." and Bryson and I both do this: =.o We could not believe what was happening. So, I started talking to him and learning about him and stuff and he was really polite, decent, and classy. He is also reasonably good at bowling and we beat the brakes off of Nicky and Alex. (Nicky noted that he'd spank my squishy ass in bowling and he failed. Alex got a 67. Yeah.) So, we played 3 games and then this... git... who came up in the lane next to us was like YOU HAVE TOO MANY BALLS GO PUT THEM BACK CUZ WE ARE HERE NOW AND WE NEED THE SPACE FOR OUR BALLS, yelling at us as if we're stupid assholes. I was furious. I stomped up to him, and told him what a Bowling-Nazi cock he was and then to shut the fuck up with his $10 beer from bowler bar. It was ridiculous. HOWEVER, I did get those delicious french fries that I've been craving for days now. Apparently, Bryson the creepy twin was too because he polished off several orders of french fries himself.

After that incident, we went to the parking lot to decide what to do next. We chose Barnes and Nobles and that was weird too because Bryson likes all my favorite sections. I thought he was following, but he was just browsing. Of course, Nicky and Alex ditched us to force interaction AGAIN. I bought Rainbow Six by Tom Clancy.

Then, we went to Panera Bread where I found out that Bryson is also a vegetarian. Big shock. There were these two big leather chairs at Panera in front of a fireplace and we sat two to a chair so Nicky and I could share a sandwich and lemonades.

Then, our groups went our separate ways, but not before Aex pulled me aside and made me tell him exactly what I think of Bryson. I can honestly say that he is not as bad as I expected, but I just don't think they have the proper chemistry. This is not due to the fact that I dislike Bryson, it's after careful and conscientious watching. I just don't think he's right for Alex. He's not very clingy and Alex always liked "clingy" but not like ZOMG ALEX I NEED YOU TWENTY FOUR SEVEN. Like, aww, baby, give me a hug I love you clingy. Maybe it's just because their a new couple, but I don't know. It's like they're not on the same page.

I also took some pictures of me room, see above. It's pretty messy, I guess. I like it though. With the mess and all it's nice. Now, I'm sitting on my bed with Nicky and we're watching Juno while I type this.

And I also want to tell you some things about Bryson so you can get a feel for what I'm working with. He's pretty rad, I'll give him that. Just, not right for Alex. I could be friends with him, he's just... I don't know. It's hard to explain. Well, to begin, he's 22 and his hair is a lightish brown color. His eyes are a pretty grey. He lives two floors down from Alex in his apartment building and they met in the laundry room a few months ago. He's kind of short, 5'5ish, I guess. Not really skinny, but still not fat. Average, yeah. He doesn't drink, so that's a plus in his qualifications to date Alex. He smokes, so that too, I guess since Alex smokes. He likes the same odd music Alex likes. (Finnish and Swedish deth metal, go figure.) He has a septum piercing and an industrial in his left ear as well as 5 little stars tattooed on his neck. Alex told me they haven't had sex yet, so I was wrong when I thought they were. HOWEVER, Bryson has a disgustingly big hickey on his neck that almost looked painful. So, that's him kind of I guess. Based on looks, not personality. He's kind of cool, personality wise.

So, that's it.

Stay classy.

-Peter

Hm. Lovely.

2010-02-26T18:48:00.000-08:00

Hello everyone, long time no update. 5 days to be precise. I kind of feel bad, because I remember when I used to be like NO WAIT PETER YOU CANT POST 3 TIMES A DAY THATS MADNESS (No, it's SPARTA) and now I'm like, psh, I'll lump everyday into one.

But anyway. I needed to post today because big things happened today. Like, honestly serious business.

So, first off. There hasn't been school for 2 days because of this "storm" was was going to TWO MOTHERFUCKING FEET and it turned out to be two mother kissing inches. Woop. Oh well, two days off is two days off regardless.

But today... oh joy. I found out an interesting piece of news. Alex, my lovely Alex. My lovely Alex who belongs to me and no one else... has... a new... boyfriend... Bryson. Dx Nicky and I are going bowling with them tomorrow to get acquainted but I can almost guarantee that I will not like him. I guess that I should give him a shot... but honestly... I don't want to. He's not good enough. No one is. I'm not even good enough. The only person good enough for Alex, is Nicky. I'd only be happy with either of them finding some one else if it were each other. But, as you all know, Nicky is with me and Alex has... Bryson. <.<

As long as he's happy, I should be happy for him.

I just don't think Bryson is good enough.

We're going bowling tomorrow, as I said previously. Alex wants me to tell him what I think of Bryson. Honestly. He knows how I feel and I know he wants me to set that aside and be happy for him as I should, so this is a really tough test.

I also have another anomaly on my hands. Literally. I want to paint my nails, but I don't know what color. I have several options and I think I'm going with clear with blue sparkles. Yeah, that. No under-color this time, makes me wait too long and my patience are already wearing thin with this Bryson business.

Through it all, stay classy.

-Peter

--

2010-02-21T06:56:00.000-08:00

The more I think about it, the more I dislike liars. Of course, no one likes liars, but I think I've gone to the extreme end of the spectrum of dislike. I'm not even talking about huge lies. I mean bitchy, little lies that people tell and it's obvious they are lying. Even when caught, they continue to just lie and lie and lie and it's so pathetic it's almost funny. Like, do they realize that you're not stupid and you can see that they're lying or are they just that unaware of themselves and the tone of the conversation. I almost find it insulting to my intelligence though, that these people think that I am so dumb as to believe them.

The best thing then, is when you call them out on it, and they pretend that they have absolutely NO idea what you're talking about, and even get hostile about it. Once you're caught, you might as well fess up because denying it only pisses people off more. But, once a liar, always a liar, I suppose.

I'm not saying that I don't lie, like, of course I have. Everyone has. Everyone does. Everyone will. I just think it's the most annoying thing ever when the aforementioned things take place.

I just want to tell certain people to shut up and grow up because everything they say is bullshit and the whole thing is getting a little overdone.

Stay classy,

-Peter

Why hello thar.

2010-02-16T12:37:00.000-08:00

Well, we enter our story on the 13th of February. Saturday the 13th. the previous night, Alex stayed over. Of course, he slept in the guest room as my twin bed is hardly big enough for Nicky and me, let alone the addition of a full grown adult male. So, yes. Then...

To delve into Saturday... All three of us piled into Alex's car. He had to take it to the car place in New Jersey to get his oil changed and transmission flushed. All of the mechanics were amazingly sexy. I was somewhat surprised. After that, we went our to eat at the P-Burg Diner. Let me tell you, their veggie burger is grotesque and I will never get it again. However, their french fries are to die for and I got plenty of those, and I was really happy with them... until I found a hair in them and it ruined the entire plate. I think I'm cursed, I really do. Like, I always find hair in my food. After we ate, we went to the mall. That was fun, Alex bought my birthday present which is a Super Mario Bros sweatshirt and a pin. Alex drove us home after that mall and that was that. ^^

Sunday was nice. Valentine's day, haha. Nicky and I just sat around and played all day. He was being really extra sweet and it made me smile. Not that he isn't always like that, but still it was really nice. He tried to make dinner, but he burned it... again. ^^ Then we ordered Chinese, but that mysteriously never came. o.o So, he made ravioli with this awful sauce. Luckily, the sauce was on the side, as neither of us liked it very much and we could eat the ravioli plain. I prefer it plain anyway. ^^ Then we came up to bed, and loafed around until like, 5 am. ^.^

Monday, my birthday was really good too. We woke up at like, 9am and we got to work on my 18 for 18. Then we just sat around all day in my room, it was kind of boring but relaxing too. Throughout the day we continued to chip away at the 18 for 18 and we missed midnight, but I got it covered within 24 hours of when we started. One of which was made in the car before school, twas fun. =.3

Today, I had school and he had work. Blah. So lame. But, I did see Dildo and he gave me a birthday hug, as well as an awkward birthday neck-kiss. Kelly gave me a card from her and Aiden and Haylyn gave me a hug and 18 kissies on me cheek. Most of my other friends said Happy Birthday, so yeah. Mitch said happy birthday to, and he tried to give me birthday punches, but I was like I'LL TELL NICKY and he was like o.o and stopped. It was lovely. Now I'm here at home. My mother bought fastnachts and they are love in a glazed German doughnut type thing. I ate two of them already. I'm so fat. Oh well.

I hope it snows tonight, I want a delay or off from school. Preferably the latter.

So, anyway, that's what I have to say to get you up to speed.

Stay classy,

-Peter

TOTALLY BLINKIN DAFT

2010-02-12T13:56:00.000-08:00

Ah, so lovely days.

We got about two feet of snow almost so, school was canceled on Wednesday and Thursday and then today was a two hour delay, but I skipped anyway. We were supposed to have off, but they tried to "cancel" that because they fucked up last week. It's garbage, so I rejected it as did 80% of my peers.

So, yeah. Wednesday was pretty boring. I just hung around online all day. That's always so fun... there was to much snow to do anything at all. Like, two people got stuck in the snow outside of my house. It was funny because the one guy couldn't get out for about a half hour and I just sat inside in the warm looking at him and laughing out the window.

Thursday, yesterday, was pretty fun. Actually, it was one of the funnest days I've had for awhile. Not the best, mind you. that was last Friday. =.D

But, anyway. Yesterday, was really fun. Alex came over and we were just hanging out all day. We watched ten episodes of Heman and the Masters of the Universe. It was pretty rad. Like, I told him what we were doing before he came over so he'd know and he wore his Heman shirt. It was so funny, like... it was the wrong Heman. It was the original one so like, Willy Wonka hair cut ftw. He said he would have brought his action figures, but he couldn't find them.

After we watched 10 hours of Heman, we played Heman. It was nice to behave like a 6 year old again. Alex was Heman and I was Skeletor. We made a Greyskull out of couch cushions and my sword was a rolling pin. His was this thing that we found in the kitchen, but neither of us could decipher what it was. o.O Anyways, we did that until Nicky got home at around 4:15. Then we all just hung out some more and stuff. Nicky and Alex made food together so we could eat. The, Alex left at like, 8 something because he had to pick his sister up and take her home, so that's lame.

I made him come back over today. So, he's here now and we were watching Treasure Planet with Cassie, but Cassie went to go shower so we paused it and turned on the news. It's kind of boring today, but meh. I don't really care. Nicky is sitting behind me and petting my head. =.3

Ok, now we're watching it again, haha.

On Wednesday, I think it was, I started watching this 24 hour live steam of a hummingbird nest. It's so cool, but like. I feel so young watching it because all the other people are like 50. I'm just like =.| when they say their age. I'll be 18 on Monday.

./loser

Also, Sunday is Valentine's Day. I don't know if I really want to go out and I talked to Nicky about it. He said he didn't really want to do anything big either. So, we might just hang around the house or go to the movies or something, we haven't decided yet. /shrug

I also don't know what I want to do on my birthday. =.L I should figure that out. Or Nicky should. Whatever. ^^

And, lately, Anna and I have been stalking SYG on formspring. It's far too entertaining to watch them answer questions, especially if it's something we asked.

Ah, good times, good times.

anyway, that's all I have to say for now, stay classy.

-Peter

Ps. I want some mac right about now.

Oh, Nicky Nickers. We love you.

2010-02-09T19:38:00.000-08:00

*TV show: Name an animal that works harder than a human.
*First player: Ants
Nicky: What the fuck? Ants are not animals.
Peter: Yeah... they are...
Nicky: No. They're insects.
Peter: Insects are animals.
Nicky: No, I've never heard that before in my life.
Peter: Well they are...
*TV show: Name an animal that works harder than a human.
*Second player: [some kind of bird, I forget]
Nicky: What the fuck. Birds are not animals.
Peter: Yes, Nicky. They are.
Nicky: No, they're not. I have never heard that in my life.
Peter: We just had this discussion... about ants...
Nicky: I know, but they're not animals.
Peter: They are. I think you're confusing mammals with animals... again.
Nicky: Again?
Peter: Remember the snakes?
Nicky: Snakes are not animals.
Peter: /dies -_-

woooooooo...

2010-02-06T21:37:00.000-08:00

Ok, so my puter is fucked up. Well, at least my internet is.

It won't let me access Google-based sites such as isketch and blogger from the guest account that I usually use. So, I have to use the admin account. >.> I hate using it.

BUT ANYWAY

The concert was awesome, completely.

The Swellers were pretty good, but the lead singer was kind of obnoxious with how he’d talk. It was kind of annoying, but they were pretty good regardless. Nicky and I went halvsies on a sweat shirt from them. It’s pretty hot. Pic later.

This Providence was really good. The lead singer was kind of… spastic and odd. I liked him though. I got his autograph on this poster because Nicky and I went back to hang out with the opening bands while Motion City Soundtrack got ready for their set. I bought their cd because their music was good and it was only $5 with the purchase of a $15 t-shirt that Nicky was buying anyway.

Set Your Goals… was… pure amazing wrapped in a miracle. They were twice as wonderful as I could have ever expected and then… after ward… Matt Wilson signed the shirt I bought and took a picture with me after I flagged him down from across the room. I tapped his arm and then he turned around and he put his arm around me… it was magic. We were meant for each other. <3 then I just stood there and watched him like a creep. Nicky was like “You’re spoiling him, he’s not used to his band getting all this fan attention.”

We didn’t stay for Motion City Soundtrack, but I bought some pins. They’re pretty cool.

Then, after, we went to Denny’s and that was good. I got a boca burger and fruit cup so it only had 15 grams of fat. =.)

It began snowing after the concert was over, and that made me so happy. Now it can snow all damn weekend, I don’t give a fuck. HOWEVER, Nicky and I wanted to go bowling this weekend, maybe… so, I don’t know. That might wait until next week for Valentine’s Day. =.3

I’ll probably have pics up soon from the concert.

Today, Nicky and I went grocery shopping. That was really fun. Nicky curse out this chick in the parking lot. and we spent all my mom's money. =.3 He called her a crack whore, I was so proud.

Stay classy,

-Peats

To All the Whales Upon The Beach

2010-02-02T20:29:00.000-08:00

Today was a yucky day for school. I debated going this morning, but I decided to go because I didn't feel like making anything up. For the first 3 hours of the day, I was in the same room, same seat, so I just put my head down and I couldn't pick it up again. However, instead of being able to die in peace, Dildo and Tanny bothered me. One in first block, the other in second. It was non-stop talking Peter's ear off day, obviously.

For as much as I'm complaining, I actually liked it. They're funny and they made me laugh a lot.

"You can’t get six Snickers for three dollars. That’s fucking bullshit"

-Dildoooo

I think my blood pressure and iron levels are lower than usual, my head felt funny and I was just weird. But, oh well. I'm fine now. Yesterday, I went to the nurse for 3 hours just to lay down and look at the ceiling. She gave me cookies periodically, but today I took my own cookies to school. Lemon creme. <3

But, anyway, I finished reading The Diving Bell and The Butterfly. It was pretty good, somewhat eye-opening. Nicky and I are still reading Sweetness At The Bottom of The Pie together though, it's really good too. I want to reread The Vampire Chronicles by Anne Rice again too soon.

Dildo came over after school today, we've been chilling and when Nicky came home, I pretended to be cheating on him, but he saw through that facade easily. ^^ I was kind of disappointed, but at least he wasn't mad or anything.

"Oh fucking please. You’re not a moron, Peter. You know what time I get home from work and if you were actually cheating on me, you’d be finished by now. Besides, if you were really cheating on me, you wouldn’t be smiling, you’d be upset. I also doubt that you’d cheat on me with him, as he is straight. I’m not stupid; I know."

-Nicky, upon walking in on Peter pretending to be cheating with Dilly.

But now, it began blizzarding and Dildo is staying the night because I won't let Nicky drive in the snow and Dildo can't call his mother to pick him up because he's not allowed at my house. Why, you ask? Because I'm a "bad influence". Though, we both suggest that if anything, he's a bad influence on me. Whatever, his mom is crazy. x3 Worse than mine by far, and that's hard to do.

Happy Groundhog's Day, and 6 more weeks of winter.

Stay Classy,

-Peter

Ps. SYG on Friday. xD It's going to be a good day and hopefully a good week with that to look forward too.

These last two days were really good.

2010-01-29T20:54:00.000-08:00

Yesterday, it began to snow at around 6:30. Buy the time I awoke for school, there was 2 inches of snow. School still didn't cancel, so Nicky and I made an attempt. Well, look up the road... accident. Down the road... accident. Next road over, we got stuck turning. Look up, accident. Down, accident. Greeeeeeat. So then, my mother is on the roads going to work, and we heard about a million different accidents and 7 people dying in accidents. So, we then drove a little ways, and we slid and came about a foot from hitting a house. It was ridiculous. Like, we drove two blocks and Nicky was like I NEED A FUCKING CIGARETTE!!!

After we found stability behind a cinders truck, we drove to a diner for breakfast. I got a waffle and hash browns, Nicky got scrambled eggs and pancakes. Well, I ate half my waffle and some of my hash browns and decided I was finished. Then, I picked at my leftovers and I found a hair. So, I pulled it out and it was clearly a pubic hair. I was disgusted. So, I didn't tell Nicky what was going on and I told him to let me out of the booth and I took my plate back to the kitchen. I found the chef and I flipped out on him. I screamed, hollered, cursed him out, but I left and promised never to come back without getting my free meal. However, I didn't let Nicky pay for pubic hairs in my food so we got a free meal anyway.

We came home and watched Open Season, then a quickie, then Over the Hedge.

It was a good pleasant morning after all the hubbub.

My mother got home safely from work and she went to Wegman's to buy food. Nicky and I sat around for a few hours until I became unbearably bored with the house and we went to Barnes and Nobles. I bought a few books.

The Diving Bell and The Butterfly
Sweetness At The bottom Of The Pie
The Pocket Lexicon, for Nicky

Nicky and I read a bit last night of all the books. I'm nearly done with The Diving Bell and The Butterfly. Nicky read Sweetness At The Bottom of The Pie aloud, he does all the accents and voices. =.3

Today, school was boring. I finished drawing my still life and started the painting. Dildo and I had a dance off. I totally kicked his ass with my booty drop. That was pretty rad. Then, English was awesome. Went to fast as usual. Ceramics was alright. I was just talking to Kelly and all of the sudden she was like FUCK and ran out of the room. Then, she came back and got bitchy with me and I was like, WHOA BITCH. That was a mistake, because she flipped on me like, I HAVE TOILET PAPER STUFFED IN MY VAGINA IM ALLOWED TO BE A BITCH. I was just like ;-; and I worked on my project, which I finished.

After school, Mitch and Elena picked me up and said we were going to Panera. I felt like a third wheel sort of... but I was like, ok. We went and when we got there, I was pleasantly surprised to see Nicky there dressed nicely as if he had planned it... ^^ I think he did. So, we ordered food and he bought me a Valentine's Day cookie and lemonade. =.3 Mitch and Elena left before us and we could only assume Mitch was going to get laid. Nicky and I left soon after and we got home at about 4:30. Then, we just sat around for a few hours enjoying each others company.

Now I'm on the puter and doing all the stuff I usually do, so that's about it. More than I've wrote for a few entries, I think. =.J

Stay classy,

-Peter

Well well well...

2010-01-27T20:16:00.000-08:00

Hello boys and girls,

Not this friday, but Friday the 5th is the concert. I'm super 'cited. I'm hoping to get some good pics to post either here or tumblr or both. Facebook, dA... Yeah, I'll be excited. x3 I love Set Your Goals... and I want to see them live. As a matter of fact, I'm listening to the right now.

./lame

Ok, anyway. School is ok. I like all my classes except Ceramics II. It's just so lame and the class is crowded and suckish. I hope it gets better, but I doubt it will. >.> I like all my other classes a lot though. So, that's good. Unfortunately, Ceramics is last block so I have to sit through it for the longest hour and a half.

I bought a book today. It's not new and I've read it. I bought it from the school library because I didn't feel like returning it. I like it too much to do so. x3

I wish I had more to say, but I don't. =.\

I apologize.

Stay classy.

-Peter

Suckkkkk

2010-01-25T14:02:00.000-08:00

Today, at school, I started the second semester of my senior year. With that, I began new classes as well. I like all my classes for the most part, but surprisingly, I think that English is my favorite. My teacher is awesome and pretty chill.

However, I did not enjoy today. Halfway through third block, I got pulled out of class by a security guard. I was thinking, what the hell did I do now? and they took me to the security room and told me to take off my shoes and button down and to empty out my pockets. After that, they proceeded to pat me down and then enlighten me to the search of my locker. Why did they do this? Apparently, I displayed "suspicious behavior". Completely garbage, if you ask me. Luckily I had nothing on me today, so, they looked very foolish.

Unfortunately, this isn't the first time I've been searched. The first time was in 8th grade, then again during sophomore year, and now. They've never caught me with anything which just proves how inadequate their system is. Of course, Dildo has been searched and caught several times. Maybe it just doesn't/hasn't work[ed] on me. I'm not going to get cocky with it though. ^^

Now, I'm better. Haylyn came over and we're hanging out for the first time in forever. Nicky got home about an hour ago so he's hanging out too. I think he's tired though, so I might have Haylyn leave soon.

Well, that's all. Stay classy.

-Peter Liam Oberman

let's take this outside so i can make another scene.

2010-01-17T14:34:00.000-08:00

Tis been a few days since I posted here. 5 to be exact. I suppose that not much has happened in the last 5 days, but also a lot. I'll try to remember back that far...

So, I last posted on Tuesday, so Wednesday...Alex called me and he was singing this song and it was making me cry because it was sweet and stuff... and I listened to that same song on repeat all day. Then, he called back and talked to only Nicky. And they pissed me off because they were like: we're taking you to a gay bar/strip club for your birthday and I don't want to go. I just want to spend the day with Nicky and maybe Alex and then just move on. But, they pretty much said that they didn't care what I said, they were doing whatever. >.> Nicky did apologize though and he said that we didn't HAVE to go... but he still wants to take me to one, so maybe one day, just not my birthday unless I change my mind which I could.

On Thursday, I stayed after school until like, 4. After that, Nicky and I went out for dinner and then we came home and then we took my mother to the store and we bought groceries with her but she was acting like a mom and Nicky and I were acting like we were 10. =.3 She was like BOYS!! GET OFF OF THAT!! NOW!! and it was funny because were like NO!! and she got mad, but not really. then we went home but it was like, 7 when we got home so Nicky and I just hung out for a few hours and watched a movie, sort of.

Friday, it was kind of boring. I came home from school and I got annoyed almost instantly. Then, I bought some cute Valentine's Day undies online. I love them, haha. I think Nicky will like them too. Then I rolled a few tea blunts and smoked those. They taste better than cigarettes and weed anyway, and they still do like, the whole mellowing out thing. I think they're not as bad for you too, but I'd have to look that up.

Also on Friday, the Valentine's dance was announced. It's, once again, tun around/Sadie Hawkins so the girls ask the guys. I usually get asked... a lot... by like, overconfident freshmen and sophomores, but I have to turn them all down... and I secretly love saying no to them. x3 I was already asked once. Literally 10 minutes after it was announced. bwahaha... >=.3 I love crushing dreams.

Then yesterday... ugh. FML. I got my hair cut and it looks bad... >.> like, it's terrible. Nicky couldn't even lie about liking it. It's so short, I miss my long hair... so much... it was so sexy and this isn't sexy at all. I just want it to grow back fast. After that, we went to Target and bought some stuff and then we went to a different Target and bought more stuff, and then we went to Kohl's and din't buy anything but we people watched and that was pretty... fun. Kohl's attracts so interesting people. After that, we went to Panera bread, it was so good like, I got a mozzarella/basil panini and Nicky got Tomato soup in a bread bowl. It's so cozy and nice in there too, like, I love it.

And today, we just sat around all morning and we pretty much just hung out all day. I started hating my hair more and more every time I look at it, but that's fine, I guess. It's not like it's a tattoo... it'll grow back... eventually... ugh. I hate that word. Eventually. It's so... ambiguous. I think we'll watch Free Willy in a little bit. I love that movie, but it's so sad. haha, I cry. x3

I still have tomorrow off, Thank you Martin Luther King Jr.. Then, I only have three days of school for finals week, and another three day weekend. That's pretty rad.

So, that's all for now. Stay classy.

-Peter Liam Oberman

minou, minou

2010-01-12T18:05:00.000-08:00

Well, the doctors called earlier and Nicky has to go have a blood test thing every other week for three sessions to "see how it looks over time". =.\ It's making me really upset, because that means there's something wrong and they don't know what's wrong "exactly" or if it's "actually what's wrong". I think he's trying to brush it off so I won't worry, but it's not working. ;-; He seems fine, but I don't know. I'm not a doctor. >.> /sigh His arm is all bruised because the last nurse to take blood was terrible and underqualified for her job. Goddamn incompetent people.

On an upside, next week is finals week... and I only have to go for 3 days. It'll be so welcomed. That means only 90 more days of school. @_@ Even though that sounds like forever... but, still. I've convinced myself that sticking it out is for the best. I do have to go to guidance to discuss my schedule though to make sure it's all good. I have a really easy semester too, so that's amazing... English IV, art, art, art... Yeah. It's fucking rad.

My mother is so nosey, it's so annoying. Like, I'll be talking to Nicky and she'll be behind the wall listening and then walk over completely and be like WHATCHA TALKING ABOUT. I'm just like, nothing and I look at her like she has three heads. She's pretty bright in that she gets the hint and leaves promptly, but that doesn't keep her from dong the same thing six or seven times. v.v

I think I did well on my soc test... I didn't really study for it, but I knew... thought I knew... almost all of the answers. There was also an essay, and I rawk at essays under pressure. But, if anything, I think the true/false killed me. I hate true/false because they all sound like trick questions... and then 5 in a row trues feels wrong and the same with false.

I have a French test tomorrow, but that will be beyond easy. Last test of the semester. I wish I had French II next semester, but nope. It was full. I should go back to guidance to see if I can switch out of my last block class for French II because I think that a lot of people in my class aren't going to pass or move on. you need at least a 75 average to move onto level II. But, there are two French I classes and I don't know how the others are doing. Oh well, if I don't get it I don't get it. Either way is fine. If I don't, I'll just try learning more on my own like I do with everything else that the school fails to provide for me.

Bai folks,

-Peter

What a supreeze.

2010-01-10T17:22:00.000-08:00

Gah, Daniel... but, I'm happy tonight, with no real outside influence other than what I usually have. I smiled! For real! (That's good and fun and new. fyi.) Maybe it's because I took a shower, I don't know. That doesn't usually make me so happy, so probably not. It's weird, because... I was thinking about Daniel again, and that always makes me sad, but I also thought about Nicky and that made me really happy and I thought about Alex and that made me laugh. x3 I wrote a short story, but I don't know if I'll post it. Maybe here, Tumblr, or dA... I have to pick. I'm singing with Nicky now. haha... Don't Go Breaking My Heart by Elton John and Kiki Dee... we sound really good. xD But yeah, school tomorrow... eugh. I have a test last block. I'm also helping Haley with her homework because I'm a good friend.

I can't wait for the 5th. I'm going to a concert with Nicky. It's supposed to be my Valentine's Day present... but it's a bit early... Oh well. =.D I can't wait to see Set Your Goals, I love them. ^^ So does Nicky.

I drew some things...

That's Nicky and I dressed as Kitties.

Those are some Notes I took along side of a drawing of a Hippogriff and a poem.

Well, that's all, I suppose.

Stay classy,
-Peter

Inconsistencies.

2010-01-08T23:12:00.000-08:00

It's late, and Nicky and I are getting ready to head up to bed... but, I wanted to type this up tonight rather than tomorrow.

First, my day. I had a two-hour delay for school, so that was fun... I actually woke up regular time and Nicky and I watched a movie. He ended up going to work two hours late too so he had to work until 6 rather than 4. =.L But, that was ok, I guess. School was rather boring... same old, same old. It was snowing again by the end of the day, but I had my coat on, so it was all good. Mitch drove me home as he does usually, but one thing as different... as we came around this sharp curve, he hit a tree. Not a tree in the ground mind you. A Christmas tree that someone had strew across the road in the exact area that you couldn't see til you hit it. How convenient. I think it was done purposely, but no harm done. Mitch just ran right over it and flew into a fit of obscenities. It's actually funny, looking back even thought I was like o.o at the time. x3 When I got home, I made some soup and ate it and then I got on puter as usual. I was talking to Alex on msn, but he was pissing me off... you see, I was trying to call Nicky and he wouldn't pick up and I told Alex, and he was like "he's cheating on you." and I got mad, so I blocked him. Then, Alex, the ever-cunning little cunt called me... and I was like "ugh". So, I left the phone on. But then, I was like, well, what if Nicky calls... so, I turned it back on, tried again, and he picked up. =.3 I told him what Alex said and he said "I am..." and I was like "..." and he said "just kidding" but I hung up anyway. Nicky called back and I picked up. >.> then he got home soon after and my mother sat here watching the evening news with us. She said some things that I didn't listen to, but she always does... meh. Then, Nicky became a pest and we battled and I won. =.3

Second, my thoughts. I'm actually having a decent day. I only got really upset once... and I was thinking about Daniel again... =.\ I wrote something for him and everything. I know I shouldn't be so attached to him, but I can't help it... I guess I lied. I got upset twice. I thought about David today too... and how I do love him, and ho I gave him chance after chance and how he fucked up my life a little, but I'm not blaming him... he didn't make me do things, usually, but he did things that made me feel like I had to do certain things... and those things, I still do today. Now, before anyone gets up in arms, I don't cut... I never have and I never will. It's not in my personality to do that and I get upset with people who do... =.\ I think I'm going to draw tomorrow. I'm in the mood to just... draw things. Anything I guess.

I've been listening to Set Your Goals obsessively and posting it all on tumblr. x3 I'm going to see then on February 5th, as I stated before... haha. I'm so repetitive. I bet it's annoying, but oh well. I suppose I'll go to beddie now.

Night night. <3

-Peter

Incompetency.

2010-01-05T13:59:00.000-08:00

I don't think anything makes me more impatient than incompetent people. Like, I don't know how such under qualified people can be assigned to do simple tasks. Simple things, like, for instance, a cashier. More specifically, the speedy checkout lane. It's ironic, because the checkout is anything but speedy. It's goddamn slow, actually. And why is it slow, you ask? Because they select the most incompetent cashier for the post to even it out with the others and to punish people for buying less than 10 items. Obviously people with a full cart are spending more and therefore treated better and are given better service. The speedy checkout line, is also an endless supply of humor if one is in the correct mood. The inadequacy of the cashier directly correlates to how impatient the person behind you in line happens to be, and their inconsequential comments are often the necessary comic relief. More often than not, I'm that impatient person, but occasionally I get the day off and I get to be the entertained 5th person in a non-moving line listening to the 6th bitch about the seven year old's birthday that they must attend in 15 minutes.

I recall one incident in particular... the unlucky person behind me was in a very bad mood and everything was causing them extreme displeasure. To start off, they complained of whatever the hell thing they wanted not being in stock, then their McDonald's lunch had something wrong with it, due to the incompetency of either the cashier or the food preparer. By the time that I had my things paid for and I grabbed my bag, I heard them say "THANK GOD" loudly and rudely, causing some more stares and giggles.

As entertaining as an incompetent person may be, they're that much frustrating and more. It's like, Ok. You're obviously having trouble. Just let me do it. Really, it's worse when an under qualified person can't tell that they're under qualified and therefore clearly think they're doing a good job while they're failing. Worse than that? It can get that bad? Oh, you bet. An inadequate person who KNOWS they're inadequate and this fact hinders them even more than their obvious incompetency. The more I think about it, the more I think that this is something to feel piteous about rather than angry. It's not their fault they're stupid and terribly untalented... it's... well, yes. It's their fault. BUT, instead of being angry, we should laugh at them. Cruelly and callously.

-Peter

Ps. Lesbian is my new favorite word.

so, schtuff, I suppose... not really.

2010-01-01T22:20:00.000-08:00

Nicky and I bought tickets to go to the Croc Rock on February 5th. He said it was an early birthday/V-Day present, but I don't know... I'm not completely satisfied with his thriftiness. I think I'm getting the short end, but oh well. It'll still be awesome. >=.D

The bands we're going to see are:

Set Your Goals
Motion City Soundtrack
This Providence
The Swellers

Check out their MySpaces and listen, they all rock.

So, yeah... on February 13th, there's an Alesana concert in Philly. I'm going to see if he;s willing to do that too, but its kind of far for one concert... but, he loves Alesana. So, maybe... I could also seduce him into going... "Nicky we can have hot sex in concert hall." He'd love it and fall head over heals for it. *Terrible boyfriend* Not really, I actually think I'm decent. =.3 Although, Nicky is spectacular, so... I pale in comparison.

Well, that's all folks.

-Pea-turr

Scratch that.

2009-12-31T14:33:00.001-08:00

No drinking, Alex is coming over!!

-Peter!!

Ps. I'm happy nao!!

Alright, I'm here.

2009-12-31T13:46:00.000-08:00

Mmk, so, been a few days, I know. But, ok. Not that anyone reads this anyway. But, ok.

New Year's Eve... woo! Time to get drunk, do silly things, and have sex into to new year. The latter is my favorite, but it is a first time for me... having lost it last V-Day. V for valentines, vodka, and virginity losing.

Music selected for the night: Alesana, Malajube, Set Your Goals, some upbeat Bright Eyes, Dance Gavin Dance... the likes.

I really don't have much to say right now other than what I did yesterday while I wasn't on the puter... I lazed aroound with Nicky, watched some movies, painted my nails, we read together, he made a nice dinner for us and then, we did something else, and then we had a shower/sexual relations, and then we went to bed.

-Peter

/huff

2009-12-26T18:01:00.001-08:00

Well, that was fail...

what a shock.

but anyway.

I feel severely neglected. I don't know why. I don't think I'm high-maintenance or anything, so I don't understand why I feel like this. I just feel... sort of... left out. =.\ It's rather depressing too, like, I'll consider myself happy, until something else happens, and then, I'm the complete opposite and I don't even want to be around anyone or talk to anyone or do anything. So, I end up neglecting Nicky or other people, when I feel neglected by them and they weren't even neglecting me. I suppose I do like attention sometimes, but still. =.\ Like, it goes to a point where I feel like no one wants me around or that life would go on if I just left and never came back.

I need a new purpose in life, because I'm going on without one and that's no good.

-Peter

The Thespian Falling.

2009-12-25T12:38:00.000-08:00

Naivety, is a lovely thing. The man with golden hair passed his shoulders waits on a park bench for the kiss that never comes. He waits hours, but when no one arrives, a tear falls down his cheek but it's swallowed up by the rain and he dies in peace. The golden haired man is tired, but he's not sleepy. Sleep resists his grasp, but he chases it as if it were the king's fox in the royal hunt. the chase is over when he catches up with a little help of oxycontin and a shot of his favorite brandy. Everything is okay for him, one last night. His feel pull him up the stairs and out of his clothes when he lays down for bed. The sheets are warm, but he's chilled to the bone. Besides him, the bed is empty and it makes him sad. It tugs on his lips at the corner and drags them down like his eye lids. The man finally catches his prize and it succumbs to his demands, and he's out for the night. Dreams haunt him like dark fairies and a few more tears escape from closed eyes. Spiders creep at the corners of his mind and everything is dusty. His subconscious searches and comes back red, but empty handed. When the golden haired man wakes up, the sun paint him yellow and he's afraid. Fear brings blood to his cheeks and his wrists are blue. Everything is calm [except for his heart] and he goes out of the apartment that reminds him of that one who he loves, but can never say he loves for lack of material subject matter. It bloodies his thoughts and he broods.

Breeds of long forgotten lovers paint his thoughts when he leaves the day for dead and dives into night. Rainbows may be refractions of sun beams but strobe lights run on batteries. His heart races at high volumes and everyone is flying. Another star-struck lover for a lonely night where you're surrounded by empty robots with human hair. It's lovely hair and he winds his fingers into one's head in particular. Ravenesque, it falls to shoulders and it's warm. The robot is warm, and he golden haired man finds himself with another human. The raven is in transformation, but he caught him before it was too late. A heart still beats in his chest and his brain makes some decisions for itself. How refreshing. Loneliness is their Incubus and it seduces them to a bedroom where legs are spread and names are exchanged. It's love at first site, but the morning arrives and they part. The man staggers home empty handed once more and he goes back to bed with another oxycontin and a loaded mind. It's gone and so is he. Back to La La Land once more where the green fairy takes him to pleasures of the Gods. A place where juice drips down his fingers like how it did the night before.

Fools fall for their one night stand and the golden haired man isn't claiming intellectuality. He feels himself falling strong and hard as he makes his way home and back to blank spaces in time. He asks around, but no one has seen the Raven for a week. He's sure he's been forgotten and once more, his eyes fill up with salt water and they burst. Another day and another party, he hunts around couches piled with liquored-up blossoms, and he finds his treasure... but his Raven is wrapped around another arm and the golden-haired man's heart drops. He watches lips lock and he's jealous of the behavior he sees. Wishing it was himself he walks over, unconscious of what he's doing. The Raven turns and the golden man is filled with pink when the other's eyes brighten and his name falls perfectly formed from their lips. Goldie melts and the Ravenesque follows. They disappear together again and once more legs are spread and fears are exchanged this time rather than names. Adoration is admitted on one side, but the golden man disappoints his object of affection when he's not so sure how to requite it. He's been hurt but he loves again. He opens his mouth but all the leaks out through his teeth is a quite bid goodnight. They rest together, breathing together, and they fall asleep wrapped and entangled with each other in a stranger's bed with Bacardi on their breath. Everything goes quiet and they wake together. Their lips dance one more time before parting and they find their rides and separate.

For hours, days, weeks their paramour lead on. A renaissance in every facet of the word. It was beautiful and nothing was grey anymore. Goldie couldn't believe his eyes when he'd look out his balcony and his Raven was their calling for his hair. His ears were bemused at the sound and he tossed his hair and the Ravenesque ascended toward his window. A bed of clover and roses spread across his bed and floor to cushion the impact or the lovers crashing like meteors on errant paths. They're draped in flower petals that materialize out of nowhere from the ceiling fan and they're covered like snow.

Lovers come and go, but diamonds are forever. The golden haired man and his Raven part again, and the man goes home. His heart, full of love and a smile cracking his face. It's summer, and he found his sun. But, night comes and so does winter. The doe eyes sing in his memory when he closes his eyes in his bed again and sleep rushes to catch up with him. they're like a drug, those doe eyes. Lifting him up where he belonged, out of the bushes and into the trees. The diamonds in the sky sparkled across Andromeda like Lucy and the mascara stuck their eyes. Waking up, the man was a flutter. Those eyes... he loved them. they clouded his vision in a blued haze... they blocked painful reality and he crashed... head on into a Mazda. The lights went out and he was dead on arrival. When the news wafted through the air and met the Raven, he let out a pitiful cry into the night. It was torture and life was hell. Love is hell. Everything became black, but his blood stained red on the dashboard. A week passed and it was fading into blurry grey and unlivable. The Ravenesque looked out the window like canary and leapt out to take flight. But, he fell like cold steel to the ground and shattered, and the pain was still there. Sprained ankles and a broken heart disguised as a failed attempt at suicide. A scab formed, but the pain still throbs. Naivety breeds fools for lovers.

fin

-Peter

My mom... x3

2009-12-22T18:47:00.001-08:00

She is so weird... in an awesome way. Like, she sat here and gave me this long lecture about since we don't believe in God/aren't Christians we can't celebrate Christmas. So, I'm like, ok. So what? And she goes off... on things... about how we're celebrating Nature. Like, the tree represents being one with Nature and we decorate it to honor it's branches and majesty. The gifts represent giving to each other like Nature gives to us. I'm like, "Smoking the ganja represents humans destroying Nature... and the high is Nature forgiving humanity." I think she figured all this out when she was high... she's still blazing. x3

-Peter

Well, I'd like to take this time...

2009-12-20T01:15:00.000-08:00

... To mention that I like fireworks.

I also like Dance Gavin Dance, Oreos, and Little Miss Sunshine.

Shall I make this entire entry about my likes? Perhaps even dislikes, if I'm ambitious enough...

Well, I enjoy a nice glass of merlot, cabernet, and even blush wine. A nice bacardi mixed mojito is also nice on a hot day, in my opinion. Champagne is nice on occasion, but somewhat fizzy for every weekend consumption. Beer is disgusting and therefore banished from my alcohol palette as is whiskey. Vodka is good, straight or mixed. Brandy everyone once in awhile, I suppose but not very often. Once a year as it is available most likely. In an Italian family, there are ready stocks of every variety of wine around every corner. Mainly Italian varieties, but also a fair share of french (hence the aforementioned favorites) and a nice British sherry.

I prefer menthols to non. Newports are... gross. Like, I can't even smoke them. They taste terrible. Camel is alright, Marlboro is my choice.

As for that, let's go to a more age legal like. Coffee. 100% Colombian black. No milk. No sugar. Straight black. I like my tea the way I like my coffee, but I like a variety of teas... any kind, really. At least any kind that isn't a fruity potpourri flavor. Black tea, green, chai... yum. ^^ I hate apple-cinnamon tea and raspberry zinger. they fail madly at tea and are just hot fruit juice. Nasty as hell.

I like trying new varieties of both coffee and tea, from various places. Starbucks fails at coffee. It's stale and overbrewed, as well as overpriced, however, their TAZA teas are pretty good. Still overpriced, but whatever. Treat yourself a little bit. Anyone who says they only like Starbucks, doesn't appreciate coffee for what it is. They're a trend-whore and you should disown them immediately. Or publicly humiliate them.

Books... I'll give anything a fair shot and at least the first 50 pages. Like, I love Harry Potter. All of them. I read all of the Twilight books, but I still don't like them. Never really honestly did. I can try to read anything, just to challenge myself but even I can't make miracles happen and I can't make a boring book seem interesting. Like, an author should do that themselves... make me WANT to read it. and by that, I mean more than a flashy title and indie cover art. James Frey's A Million Little Pieces is wonderful, even if it was embellished. Other great books are... The Myth of Sisyphus by Albert Camus, Hyperspace by Michio Kaku, and People Are Unappealing by Sara Barron to name a few. Terrible book in my opinion... well... I'd rather not say. I'll defame books later, perhaps another entry.

I love intelligent conversation, but it's not like I detest mindless babbling. Sometimes those are mentally freeing. But, yeah. It's fun and all to just blather glib back and forth, but something you need something to the conversation to keep your wits... religious view, political ideals, anything that dwells on theory really. I like to learn other people's views to enhance my own... I'm rather flexible and I think I can change my opinion based on what another person says, as long as it's not completely shaped by them, of course. I take that standard for everyone as well as myself. For instance, if you don't know you're stuff and you're debating with me, I'll rip you to shreds. I'm usually quite respectful of other people and i think everyone has a right to their opinion, but honestly, if you can't back it up, there's no point in even having an opinion. You're wasting my time.

I like animals... mostly birds and reptiles, but every animal in general. There are some that I don't like... for example, tapirs. Their noses look like penises. It's just odd. Like, it's not that I hate odd animals, I just don't like dick-noses. Cats, I adore. They're adorable, sweet, funny, independent, and feisty. I also like lambs, zebras, hamsters, peacocks, any and all baby animals, and chameleons.

Clothesss... the tighter the better. Skinnies and girl shirts ftw. I loathe baggy pants and 3X shirts. boxers are often to big, so I swing for the nicer, prettier, lacy numbers from Victoria's Secret. I prefer ruffles and lace... they're so cute. Like, I love shopping for them. Vests are another thing I like, as well as striped socks, thigh-highs, fishnets, leggings, tights, short shorts... and flannels. =.3

As for guys, I think I'm open for anything. Besides morbidly obese. Like, honestly, not to be an asshole, but if I can hide behind you, I'm not having sex with you. I can only suck your dick if I can find it under the rolls too. Slim is nice, but even a little bulky is good too. Bigger teddy bear guys that I can cuddle. =.3 Also, I like older guys and I dislike younger, I'd never date younger. It just goes against me. All of my serious love-interests have been older. Even if my only one year. Same age at the youngest. Nicky is... wonderful. Not too old, not too young. Tall, slim, but still something to him. I ADORE his red hair and I worship it. His green eyes are beautiful. I suppose I like brown eyes too, but they're a little... drab. Blue eyes, meh. Boring. Grey eyes are lovely. black are are cute, and hazel eyes are so pretty. I also like it when a guy is honest, loyal, experienced, intelligent, smart, understanding, caring, and just all around wonderful. I know, I ask a lot but whatever. I found someone like that so, obviously it's worth it.

Food... I don't know. I really don't like much food. I'm a vegetarian, and I despise meat. It really just sickens me... eating flesh and muscle... *gags* Most fruits and vegetable I like, I suppose. Pizza, some pasta, real Italian alfredo. Not the nasty American kind with milk in it... that's just wrong. I mean... ew. Have they tried it the good way? My Gramps' tomato sauce is bomb ass too. Hmmm... Pretty much, I dislike food and I dislike everything about it. I eat as little as possible except when it comes to Chinese... then I like it and eat it.

Well, I dislike sleeping, but I love my bed. So, for now, I'm off. Too tired to continue. x3 Maybe I'll pick it back up tomorrow where I left off... tv, movies, who knows. ^^

-Peter <3

This Is The Fist Day Of My Life... Glad I Didn't Die Before I Met You...

2009-12-17T20:46:00.000-08:00

Well, hello everyone. Tonight was just dandy... so dandy, I might just have to throw down some hard liquor to make it even better.

Well, that was a bit dramatic... my night wasn't even bad.. it was good. I'm just... blah. But, I'll get to that after I discuss the last few days or so.

Well, on Tuesday, I made the decision to smoke before I went to school, and that reduced my judgment and made me think I was tough. then, in first block, this douche said something that I no longer remember what it was, but it rubbed me the wrong way and I threw a punch. I fail to remember anything after that until sitting in the office with a fat lip and throbbing head. After that little charade, I got inschool for the rest of the week. But, today, my teacher got me pardoned from it because we had parties and I was bringing oreos. Apparently, she loves them as much as I do... but, anyway.

Yesterday, school was boring... sitting in inschool all day... just, bored and making paper things. Haylyn got mad at me for talking to Tanny and she was all REWH$#%TYH%HRT... so, I just ignored her and moved on. But, then... I got mad again because people were whispering 'I bet he's cheating on Nick with Dillon.' I was just like... ugh. And I started getting mad, but he told me to ignore them and he kissied my neck and then I wasn't mad. Like, he's my best friend and I love him and I find him very attractive, but I'm not inlove with him, and he's "straight". He just acts homosexual sometimes.

Then, after school yesterday, I just hung out with Nicky for awhile and stuffs. It was nice and relaxing. I wasn't out of my mind depressed, but I wasn't off the walls happy either.

Today was good... I went to school did that up... Then I came home and waited for Nicky. After he got home, my mother called and said she was picking up the tree. So, she got that and we helped her set it up. Then, we left and went to get some food, and we also went out to eat. I was getting more and more... dreadful... as the night went on and I just started crying eventually. =.\ I felt bad because Nicky always puts up with it and he shouldn't have to. He tried to cheer me up by taking me to the pet shop and playing with the kittens... they were cute. Little grey ones with flat faces and orange eyes. I cried some more on the ride home and Nicky held my hand. It made me smile.

He's very good at being there when I need him.

Now we're home, sitting around. I'm kind of tired, but I don't feel like going to bed. I think Nicky wants to watch a movie together or something. That will be nice. I really don't feel like going to school tomorrow because I have a quiz and I'd rather not take it... like, I want to stay home so badly... and if I don't set my alarm, I might be able to weasel another day out of Nicky. He tries to make me go to school... and then he gets swatted.

I got my mother's presents tonight... some odd jellies like Red Pepper and Hot Pepper Peach or something, some lemonade, a mug, a tea spoon thing, and a few varieties of muffin mix. I know. I went all out. It really seems like I'm kissing up for something.

Nicky and I may have gotten a little something for our entertainment... later. =.3

Well, I'm going now, I guess. It was nice reflecting for all of you.

Au revoir.

-Peter

A Story: By Peter Liam Oberman

2009-12-16T11:48:00.000-08:00

To, Stranger.

Lovely Cast:
Gracie

Herman

Wolf

+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-

You: Once upon a time there was an albino peacock
You: His name was Herman
You: her was strutting along when all of the sudden
You: he met a pink fairy armadillo
You: her name was Gracie
You: Herman liked Gracie because she was so small and fuzzy and cute
You: but
You: not many people liked Gracie
You: they thought she was tough like her shell
You: Gracie was upset by this but she relished Herman's company
You: She liked Herman because even though he was beautiful and everyone loved him
You: he didn't act at all conceited
You: and they became best friends
You: but then one day
You: Gracie got into trouble
You: and a wolf had her cornered
You: he was about to snap his jaws around her soft little belly when Herman suddenly appeared
You: the wolf turned and grabbed Herman by his neck killing him
You: and Gracie, shocked by the display
You: ate cyanide that she found on a mouse trap nearby
You: and died with Herman
You: the end.

Disclaimer: This is not to suggest that wolves go around killing albino peacocks or that pink fairy armadillos are suicidal.

Haley.

2009-12-13T14:36:00.000-08:00

This entire post is about Haley and how awesome she is.

Because, really. She's very awesome. Except when she's like NO ONE LIKES MEEEEE. Then she's silly. And then I block her. =.3 She doesn't like that, but I like it when she asks Anna to make me unblock her. That's fun... usually I don't unblock her til I feel like it but sometimes I do it when she asks.

But, she did find all the cute kittie pictures from a few entries ago. That was nice of her. Though, she is rarely nice to me... =.( She is so mean. Slapping and kicking and flicking me... hmph. But, silliness prevails and I can end up laughing at her most of the time, even if she doesn't know because she's... not in front of me... and she can't see me face.

She's very entertaining when she's mad... kind of scary...

"Don't fucking smile you fucking asshole."

Haha... I lol'd so much when she said that. Then, Mitch said it once and it reminded me of her and I laughed more...

She thinks/thought [idk which] that Nicky doesn't/didn't like her... he was all "Whyyyyyyyy does she think I hate herrrrrr". Like, he actually cared. It was so cute. I get to tell her stories sometimes. That's fun, they're always depressing though and all the characters die in some horrible way... I think they're funny... usually... but meh. It doesn't matter.

So, yeah. Haley and her awesome. I told her I was doing this so, she better like it.

That's us. I'm Dora and she is Diego.

-Peter

Ps. Hi Haley!!!!

HeyLookPeter'sLeavingOutSpaces

2009-12-13T12:36:00.000-08:00

My mother called me a son of a bitch and then, I told her that she has never been more right. She didn't understand what I meant at all, but that figures. I hope she leaves or goes up in her room or something. It's so irritating to have her sitting in this room with me... like, yeah. She's my mom and I care about her, but I still don't want her around... like, all she does is pick and bitch about everything... and then she tries to talk to me. It's so... grawr. Like, I'm just like "Shut up, mother." and when I say that, she shuts up for 30 seconds and then she's back to talking about her day at work... and then she tries to make me talk about school... I'm just like... "Shut up. Now. Just... Shut up."

It's really icy out today, like, there are so many accidents everywhere. We were going to go to the King Of Prussia mall, but it's far too icy and dangerous. We're going shopping all next weekend though for Christmas and just for fun. It'll be nice to spend the time with Nicky... and after that weekend, only three days of school until Christmas break. That's very welcomed... this year is going so fast. Like, it makes me so happy.

As you probably know, I'm a senior this year, and that also curses me with the dreaded "Senioritis". That's basically when I don't want to go to school because I'm almost done and I just can't see the point anymore. Like, It's just so... bleugh. I hate school... and I haven't seen the point of high school beyond getting into college since I was like, a sophomore. Probably before that, I just don't remember. I wish I could just go to college now... I should take the SAT/ACT... one of them, I'm not sure. Probably the ACT because it has a science section and I want to either go to school for Fine Arts/Illustration or Physics.

Well, I found a college that doesn't require SAT/ACT and it has Astronomy and Physics. Lycoming! It is epic win right now. Like, it made me happy and it's free to apply online. That rocks too. I just need to know my social security number... but I don't know it and my mom doesn't know it off the top of her head and she's misplaced my social security card. Dandy!

Well, in addition to all of that, I've finished the bulk of my story: The Light In Your Eyes Shone Brighter In The Past... Because It Was So Dark, I just have to add a few details in the body of it here and there. so, that's awesome. It's pretty long... I guess. But, that doesn't really matter... I don't know what I'm talking about. Goddamn it. *gather's thoughts* Ok. I'm good.

I'm listening to a lot of Set Your Goals today, so, that's awesome too. Like, I love them. Kind of lesser known, but still awesome.

-Peter

Theories...

2009-12-12T12:51:00.000-08:00

Ok, I have developed a theory. And, I'm really convinced that this is how it is... I'm proposing that the Wizarding World as described in the Harry Potter series is in fact the 4th dimension. It all adds up, what with floo powder(1) and platform 9 3/4(2) for inter-dimensional transportation. Their "magic" is possibly just their fourth dimensional abilities in layman's terms. Invisibility, levitation, walking through walls as examples.

Of course, being of a higher dimension, they can easily access our world and understand it how different it is from ours and how we "muggles"(3) (or three dimensional beings) are restricted in our world. Such as in Abbot's book entitled Flatland when a two dimensional Mr. Square is plucked from his two dimensional world by Lord Sphere of Spaceland. He is concluded insane and thrown in jail. If a person from our three dimensional world disclosed what they had seen in the Wizarding world of four dimensions, they would also be known as insane. Also, just as how our three dimensional world has more complex figures than Mr. Square's two dimensional world, the four dimensional world of Wizarding has more complex figures that can combine two or more familiar forms and even change between them, like the Animagi(4) and Metamorphmagi(5).

As stated in the books, it is a law to not use "magic" in front of muggles and only after a certain age may magic be used away from school. this, to me, sounds like it could be perfectly explained by their four dimensions. Muggles would never be able to understand why these "wizards" were able to do things like levitate and go invisible without detailed explanations. Even the ghosts that are in the wizarding world have been speculated as being part of the fourth dimension. The Marauder's Map(6) and moving pictures also take us to a place of obvious higher dimension.

Of course, with our only look into this theory being JK Rowlings' books and speculation on them, we are quite limited, but if these are expanded upon intellectually, they are a viable opinion on what the fourth dimension actually could be.

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1. Floo powder is a glittery, silver powder used by witches and wizards to travel through the Floo Network. The Network connects most wizarding households and buildings. This powder was invented in the 13th century by Ignatia Wildsmith.
2. Platforn 9 and 3/4 is the platform from which the Hogwarts Express may be boarded on September the 1st.
3. Muggles are people who are born into non-magical families and are incapable of magic.
4. Animagi are witches or wizards who can morph themselves into a specific animal at will. It is a learned, rather than hereditary, skill, unlike those of a Metamorphmagus.
5. Metamorphmagi are witches or wizards with the ability to change his or her physical appearance at will, rather than requiring a potion or a spelllike the rest of the wizarding population. They are extremely rare
6. The Marauder's Map is a magical document that reveals all of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and wizardry. Not only does it show every classroom, every hallway, every corner of the castle, but it also shows every inch of the grounds, as well as all the secret passages that are hidden within its walls.

**All definitions provided by Harry Potter Wiki**

Grey Kitties and stuffs.

2009-12-11T13:18:00.000-08:00

Well, awesome. Today was pretty great, but I'll get into that later. First order of business: grey kitties. They. Are. So. Epically. Adorable. I mean, really... cats in general are perfect. They're intelligent, graceful, independent... I love them so much. In my opinion, they pwn dogs so hard, it's not even funny. But, yes, more specifically, grey kitties are SO cute and adorable and fuzzy looking. Here are some examples:

So, yes. Those make Grey kitties out to be the cutest things ever, obviously. Except for maybe... ORANGE KITTIES!

Yes! Orange kitties rawk too. ^^ I love them all... *steals*

but, yeah. I'm happy today. It's a wicked day. Why you ask? Because. We will just say that a friend of mine who is called "Dildo" bought some "things". Two hundred of them, to be precise. and, Dildo also promised me 5 of these things for free. that's awesome because it saves me about $32.50. So, yes. Awesome. =.D

-Peter

What in the world...

2009-12-10T21:03:00.000-08:00

Gawd, awkwardness. Just, my entire person. From my monotone voice to my too-long legs. today, at school, I tripped and nearly fell flat on my face, lucking six or seven people broke my fall... that was uhm... fun... ^^; There's only nine more school days til Christmas break. *cheers* Lights on the Parkway ftw... with Chrissymas music and candy canes and hot chocolate. It's pretty nice.

I think we might go to Nicky's for Christmas Eve. It would be fun, I mean, I love his family... but, I'd feel bad if my mother was all alone. I'll have to see what she's doing. Either the rest of my family will be here ore she'll go out with her boyfriend. [He's 21 and far too young for her. It's disgusting.]

I have two tests tomorrow... it sucks. One in AmGov and the other in Soc. First period and last period... so, no skipping even part of the day. It sucks so hard, but at least it's friday. That's hot.

Kat is being a pest... she just bit me and ran away for no reason. T_T I'll get her for that later. *starves her* Not really... *good owner* She likes to attack Nicky when she's hyper like this, so I'm just waiting for that so I can have a good lol. The only funnier thing would be if she attacked my mother... but, I'd have to protect her from getting her throat slit. But, pfft. My mom wouldn't kill her, I don't think. She secretly likes her. I hope.

Well, it's 12:01 am, so, Imma go attend to my lover like a good boyfriend. <3

-Peter

Ps. Get your minds out of that blasted gutter! We're not going to have sex. Or are we... o.O

Pps. *winks... awkwardly*

Ppps. Shopping next weekend!!

Awww

2009-12-08T15:02:00.000-08:00

Today, Mitch picked me up from school at 10:30. He was a mess, like, on the verge of tears. But, he wouldn't tell me why or what was wrong or anything. Naturally, I freaked out... in my head. He refused to give me any details til we got back to my house. >.>

When we got here, he broke down... like, straight down. Tears, sobbing, the whole enchilada. Turns out, his girlfriend of the last 9 years, Elena, broke up with him. And he was devastated. He just sat there and I hugged him for awhile and then he laid down and rested his head on my lap so I could pet him while he sobbed and sniffled and cried and told me every last thing that they had ever... ever... EVER done together. Ever.

"This one time... *laugh sobs* Elena and I looked at puppies in the mall... like, 6 years ago. *laugh sobs* It was so much fun... Gawd, I miss her..."

Yeah. That much fun. But, I did like making him feel better... and then, at 3, Nicky came home because I called him and told him the situation. He said that all this happens about once a month or so... and that they'd get back together in a few days. well, turns out, a few days was far too long and Elena called him about like, an hour or so ago and asked him to forgive her and take her back, which he did as he promised that they'd never break up again. ^^

"Yes! Make up sex! We haven't had sex in like, three weeks!"

I was like: o.o I couldn't imagine not sexing Nicky for three weeks... I barely go three days... how pathetic of me. x3

I was glad I got out of school early, like, Mitch has to do this more often. Far more often. I was grumpy in the car this morning though when he picked me up... so, idk if he wants to deal with morning Peter again. He did buy me Taco Bell though on the way. That was good. Until he got a hotdog and I gagged on the smell.

My french test went well, I believe too. =.3

That's all for now. ^^ I guess.

-Peter x

Oreosssss

2009-12-05T22:11:00.000-08:00

I ate that... It was... disgusting and it tasted like wax. But, I'm really hyper now... like, it feels like there was hash in it. I can't stop laughing. xDDD I also feel like I'm going to vomit. there should be a disclaimer on the package about not eating an oreo stuffed with 7 creams...

-Peter

Updates.

2009-12-04T15:49:00.000-08:00

Hello everyone! Nicky's birthday was epic success. He was so happy and he loved his present. =.3

I've also started a new blog, but it is for a story I'm writing. : The Lights In Your Eyes Shone Brighter In The Past... Because It Was So Dark

And uhm... yeah. That's about it. *w*

-Peter *mwah*

tigersmrrowmrrowgrr

2009-11-30T13:31:00.000-08:00

That's me and Nicky as tigers. I'ma the widdle white one and he is the red one. mrrow!!!

Just a little night music...

2009-11-29T20:10:00.000-08:00

So, Thursday... Nicky's birthday... wooo!!

I wish I had wings... so I could flap them at people. *flaps arms*

I have so much stuff to do by Tuesday... no school tomorrow so, that's good. Nicky's taking me to the doctor on Tuesday after school... kind of sucks. >=.(

I'm kind of sad for the future, like, today's teens (meaning my generation) are so apoliticized... and like, they don't know what anything is, what it all means, or even their individual view point on the matter. Like, I understand not knowing because you don't have all the information, but I know a lot of people my age who try and what is kind of sickening is the amount of people who sit back, watch the world fail, and don't try to make their knowledge on the subject better.

Now, another thing I have issues with, is how few teens know what religion they are or even how to follow said religion. I am an Atheist, but I respect other people and their opinions granted they can back them. If they say something with no reason, I will rip them to shreds. But, if they have good reasons, and moral backing... whatever. Go on with your business.

I just bugs me with the amount of apathy that so many people (teens) have nowadays... like, people care if two men can get married or two women, but they don't give a shit if like the government took a plunge into the ocean and anarchy broke out.

You see, I began political discussions with two different friends of mine. Both are females, one is 15, the other is 14. The 15 year old, had an interest in expanding her knowledge and kept her views while listening to the views of myself. I respect her point of view even though it is often different than mine, and I enjoy talking about politics and religion with her. The 14 year old on the other hand... has no idea really about anything... and her excuse for it is "I haven't been paying attention." It kind of makes me afraid for when it comes our turn to select someone to put in office and no one is paying enough attention to bother to even go to vote. And then who will complain when we're in a hole? The people who weren't paying attention. Unfortunately the only people who seem to be paying attention, have the exact opposite ideas as me... so that kind of sucks. ^^

I don't know if the one year age gap did it, but I doubt it.

I mean, I'm trying to talk to other people of various ages, and even from different countries with alternate governments via Omegle which is an anonymous chat site and even those people seem apathetic and rarely do I get a knowledgeable person. Of course there's often a language barrier, but I try to figure it out the best I can.

I've been told to watch Zeitgeist and to google "haarp". I'm posting it here so I don't forget.

I also drew this on isketch. It's Kim Kardashian. I think her ass came out nicely.

-Peter

Skeptical Hippo Is Skeptical.

2009-11-25T21:26:00.000-08:00

Never gets old... ^^

Well, today was busy... I mean like, really. This morning, Alex called and asked me if we would want to go with him to visit Nolan in the hospital. (Hell yeah.) And we went... he was sitting up awake and he made a sound... ^^ He's probably paralyzed, but that's better than dead.

Then, Nicky and I went to the mall and I bought his birthday present(s) while he sat in Gertrude Hawk looking at chocolate with no money to buy any. *evil* But, after I got back with his present(s), he got his chocolate.

Then when we got home, Nicky and I rested for a while and just relaxed and then we went into "overly sexual to make things awkward for daddy" mode... it worked perfectly, if you ask me. Why do I think so? He walked in the door (without knocking) and got the lovely surprise of seeing me and Nicky macking on the floor and he got pissy for awhile. Then, his idiot wife tried to help my mom in the kitchen and my mother would not have that. They ended up arguing. Oh well. I didn't argue with my father though... so, good. I guess. I just made him mad by doing things to make him mad. Like, acting especially slutty. =.3 My specialty!

And then he referred to Nicky and I as "squirrels" except in his immigrant Italian accent so it sounded like "Skaverells"... but yeah. He has since gone to bed which is nice. I only have to see him until Friday afternoon. Lovely.

buh duh duh duh duhhh...

What else? Anything... hmhmhm... I'd say what I got for Nicky for his birthday (December 3rd) but he will probably read this before then and find out... which he's not allowed to do. ^^

- Peter Liam Oberman

Adventures, adventures...

2009-11-24T19:54:00.000-08:00

WELL... today, I nearly passed out in school. It was... really fun. Like, you don't even know. My blood pressure dropped, so, basically, my vision got really bad and I got dizzy and I broke out in a cold sweat. So, I told the teacher what was going on because we were on LOCKDOWN! that was a blast. Furrolls. Like, the nurse came down and wouldn't let me walk on my own even though I could... and then, I could still walk, and she had me ride in the wheelchair. Of course, that would have been nice... if I couldn't walk. v.v Oh well, she's "the nurse" and she "knows what's best". Right? Riiiiiiiiiiight. Then, we got to the nurse's office and my friend was there and she has diabetes. She said her sugar dropped to 45. So, I hugged her and gave her my orange juice because I didn't want it/didn't need it.

Then, I made my big mistake. I told Nicky. He kind of freaked out, but he tried not to. Then, I made my second big mistake. I told him that it happened before. This was him: UR GOIN' 2 DA DOCTAH. This was me: No.

Unfortunately, he won. And, despite my fights and pleas... he made me go in, and get checked out... where I was poked and prodded and yelled at. >.> Why, you ask? I have a list!
and it so goes:
1. I'm grotesquely underweight so, therefore I need to eat more.
2. I was supposed to go back like, a bajillion years ago.
3. I didn't tell him when it happened the first time.
4. I don't take my vitamins.
5. I'm just an all around bad person I guess... and he hates me. He also hates gays. I know it.

But, yeah... he hates me. And I hate him because of it. Oh well, Nicky watched a movie with me after... Moulin Rouge! That was fun... but even more fun to be had? TOTALLY!!!

My father is arriving tomorrow night. Then, he's here all Thursday. Then, he's leaving Friday afternoon. FML.

Oh well.

-Peter

Schtuffs.

2009-11-23T15:19:00.000-08:00

Once upon a time there was a silly little hamster and the silly little hamster liked acorns. But, he was trapped in a cage and this restrained him from getting acorns. So one day, he saw a little squirrel and the little squirrel had two acorns. The silly little hamster asked it if he could have one and the little squirrel said yes. He went over to the cage and gave that hamster an acorn and they ate together, but the acorns were full of cyanide... and they both died. The end.

There are sirens outside of my house, and I have a headache. Not a cute mix... I'm on the comedown off of a high which was nice at first but now I'm all... yerrrherrr...

Nicky is too... he was yelling at my mom earlier. ^^ It was so funny... and to make it funnier... She hit him in the shoulder and he just laughed more and more and than he fell asleep. Silly little bear... *kissies*

I'm trying to catch my place in story writing. I'm not very practiced in it, but I'm working on it... FYI... the above story is not a sample of where I am with story writing... it's just a lil thing that I wrote for Haley when I was high/bored.

I have to apply to Marlboro College yet... I really want to go there. I could double major in Fine Arts and Biochemistry. Plus, they have a course on Theory of Quantum Physics rather than the math portion. I'd like to check that out.

I'm thinking a lot about Daniel again, what with all this about Nolan. It reminds me of how easily I fall in love. I probably shouldn't, but it's my personality. I cant help it. *sigh* With falling in love, comes getting hurt... and Daniel hurt me, but it's not his fault. He didn't try to hurt me. His death hurt me... I miss him. Even if he didn't want to be together, I'd have just been friends. He was nice to be around. Always laughing and joking... happy. It was infectious. After he died, my sanity took a nose dive and I was in an "I'll never be happy again" mentality... but, Alex helped a bit, but... Nicky is what really saved me. *sigh*

I like talking about it because it helps me remember and I like remembering him, even when it hurts. It makes me smile and sometimes laugh. I want to find a decent picture of him. I know I have some, but they're put away. His face is fading from my memories and I want to refresh myself... I remember his hair and hands perfectly though. =.)

On a happier note, Nicky looks cute asleep in his chair, but he subconsciously spread his legs and he looks odd.

And now, he briefly woke up asked me "Will you put on a bra so I can take it off of you?" and fell back to sleep. Oddities. haha. Je l'aime. ^^

-Peter

-rant-

2009-11-22T13:00:00.000-08:00

Last night, Nicky took me to go see Men Who Stare At Goats. It was pretty funny. I drank an entire huge sody!!

After the movie, we were in the lobby and this guy was like "Twilight is so much better than Harry Potter. No competition." So, of course I informed him of how wrong he was. Stupid ass. But, he decided to be difficult and argue that he was right, even though he obviously wasn't. I mean, come on.What's better than Harry Potter? I can answer that. Nothing. Especially Twilight. The books suck and I didn't see the movies, but I'm sure they suck too. The plot line is so simple, and yet... Steph Meyer can't even write it to make sense. That's a fail author. As a writer, I don't think her writing is very good. She spoils her characters too much. Like, they all end up with everything they want. JK Rowling puts real terror in her character's lives because it has to be done. she created a complex story line that still makes sense by the end of the 7th book and beyond. But anyway, the guy... he kept on and on about how much he thought Twilight was better and I told him all of this and he kept trying to piss me off. Then, he said one things too many and I snapped. I tried to lunge at him to beat the fucking pulp out of him, but Nicky grabbed me around the waist and wouldn't let me. >.> So, now, I realize that if I ever have to kick some ass, Nicky can't be around because he'll just try and stop it.

It really is hard for me to fathom how someone could possibly think that the Twilight saga is better than the Harry Potter series... unless you didn't read the books/only saw the movies. I admit, the Harry Potter movies fail. But, if we stick to the point, which is the book, in my opinion, then Twilight has no standing. The only think Twilight is better than is... the fanfics that people write about it. Maybe. Some of those are slightly more creative, if you ask me. And that's another thing. Steph Meyer thinks she was creative when she tried to redefine vampires... no. She straight up lied. What she describes wasn't vampires. They were a sorry excuse for a shitty author trying to be original. but, it failed. All it did was single-handedly ruin vampires for our generation. I mean, seriously. Sparkles... where did that come from? Vampires are supposed to cease to exist in the sun. It's their mortal enemy for fucks sake. >.> And all the special "powers"... uhm, how about no. Seeing the future and reading minds? No. Bullshit. It's sad that she seemed to have done little research, or maybe she just completely disregarded it, which I wouldn't doubt. She seems to like to make things up as she goes along... she has to clear up so much shit in interviews because she left it out of her shitty books. Of course, JK Rowling clears up a lot of details in interviews as well, but still. Her details make sense. I kind of feel bad for people who get caught up in Twilight... because they all want a guy who's just like Edward or Jacob... Well, sorry girls (and some guys), there's no one out there like Edward or Jacob. They're fictional characters. That means what? Oh right. That they DON'T EXIST.

As a side note: Rob Pattison was better as Cedric than Edward. Just saying.

Unfortunately, I did read all the Twilight books. I'm really disappointed in myself... like... I don't know why I kept reading. Probably out of curiosity for why everyone was like falling all over themselves for the fiction books. ^^ But, yeah I did. I admit it. But, I think it gives me a right to say that I don't like them unlike a lot of others who bash them without reading them... which is what a lot of Twilight Fans do to Harry Potter. they bash it without reading it. Why didn't they read it? It was too long/confusing. Pathetic. No wonder they like Twilight.

Anyway. Besides all of this. I might be anemic... my mom is anemic and she told me that I probably am because I don't eat meat, I'm pale, lazy, tired all the time, sick all the time, and cold and blah. I should start taking my vitamins again, it would probably help. ^^

Anything else... idk... hmmm... *thinks*

Nah, nothing. I guess. =.\ I'll probably remember something and post it someone where else.

til then
-Peter

Why must I name it...

2009-11-20T18:04:00.000-08:00

I'm so bored tonight, and depressed. Like, I just don't feel like doing anything, but... in order to not be bored, I'd have to do something. Of course I'm spending time with Nicky right now and that's not boring. It's rather entertaining and slightly cheering. You see, yesterday, a friend of mine was in a car accident and he has some spinal damage... he could be paralyzed but the doctor people aren't sure of how bad his condition is yet. Alex was really upset, still is, I guess. He kind of broke into my house today... I found him sitting on my couch watching tv when I got home from school. I asked him how he got in (because the door was locked). He replied, "The window was open." Needless to say, I face palmed. He's left nao, to go pick up his older sister from somewhere and then home, I guess. I hope he feels better, he was a mess yesterday and I can't stand seeing him like that. He rarely gets that emotional, save for a few occasions when he's had to talk about his younger life and his family. I asked him once and after I saw the look on his face, I never asked again... he did end up telling me most of it though, but that's his business. I'm really proud of him... he's been sober for several long weeks now, possibly a month (or more). I'm not sure. I'll have to ask him. He's doing it for me and mostly himself, I hope. =.J

My back is kind of achy. As is my knee. I don't know why. It's annoying, in a way, but it's not bad enough for me to mind it very much. I'm just happy that I'm in my bed with Nicky and it's soft and warm. Better than downstairs with my mother hollering in my ear about stuff that I don't care about. Nicky is reading, he's so lovely when he reads.Especially when he comes across and unfamiliar word. His eyebrows furrow and and scrunches up his nose a little bit and I think he makes up a definition which, to be honest, is usually wrong, but at least he tries. He's very creative. =.) I was watching him draw earlier... it was strange and alluring at the same time. I couldn't see what he was drawing very well, but just the shapes and his face looks so at ease when he's doing things he likes to do. I still don;t know what he drew. I made him a tiara the other day, and he wore it for a few hours. I was surprised, I didn't think he would. He probably did it to make me happy, and well... he succeeded. As usual.

Thanksgiving is going to suck, to say the least. And that's being optimistic, in my opinion. My mother invited her sister, Mel, her brother in law, Thom, my gramps, and my uncle, Vito. but, my gramps called and asked if my father and step-mother, Kathy, could come too. My mother, spineless wench, said that it was ok. For a bit of background, I'd like to point out that my mother hates my father as much, if not more, than I do. Him being around especially with his wife and unborn child is going to be a nightmare. I can just imagine all the fighting and name calling. It's so stressful. And just today, I learned that they're all spending the night, as if a dinner wasn't bad enough. *sigh* It's as if my mother likes seeing us both unhappy. Idiot.

I really want to do something, but I don't know what. Maybe Nicky and I can go out and do something fun for an hour or so. I don't know, maybe we'll just go out tomorrow. I told him that I would like to see Men Who Stare At Goats tomorrow night. We both thought it looked funny.

I guess I've said enough for now. No need to bore myself anymore.

-Peter

today...

2009-11-14T20:14:00.000-08:00

Well, today... Nicky and I woke up at 7 am. Yeah. 7 am on a saturday. Bullllllllllllllllllllllllllllshittttttttttttttt.
But, we got breakyfast at a lil diner, it was good. ^^
Then, we drove 2 hours to this college for an open housey thing. We were there from like, 11 to 12:30.
After that, we went out for some food.
Nicky had even more planned...
He bought tickets for this play... it was quite odd.
Like, a mixture of Cats and Moulin Rouge... but like, 100 times more sexuality. ^^
It was very entertaining...

Small story.
At the college, we had a while where we could just walk around and look through several studios and have questions answered. Well, I had no questions or anything and Nicky and I found an empty studio. I leaned against a table and Nicky was kissieing me WHEN ALL OF THE SUDDEN an instructor walked in and said, "DO YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS?" and I was just like... *dies*.

All the people ther were so stuck up. ^^ Like, they all thought they were the shit because they're all obviously used to being 'da bomb, yo' in whatever bumblefuck town they're from. ^^ Nicky was purposely being like... a dick. ^^ It was so funny. He'd be like:

"OH MY GAWD. Is THAT a NAKED person?! I THINK IT IS."

and

"WHAT IS THAT FREAKY LOOKING THING?!? A HAWK?!"

I was loling... so hard... We had to leave early.

When we got home, Kat attacked my head... then... she ran out of the room to the kitchen and I heard Nicky yell "OUCH" really loud... I lol'd. Shes out of control. So vicious. ^^

But now...

-Peter and Nicky

My oh my...

2009-11-11T12:59:00.001-08:00

Ok so, to get this up to speed... it is Tuesday, November 11th, 2009. On October 31st, Nicky and I celebrated our first anniversary. It was fun, we painted a gourd and carved a pumpkin and then we got drunk. Fun.

Now, yesterday, I started rereading the Harry Potter Series. I fail. I'm on the third chapter of the first book. ^^
I'm such a slow reader. And typer. And writer. And... I'm just all around slow.
Which... comes in handy sometimes. If you know what I mean... *winks awkwardly*

hurkadurr...

But, now... I really love the underwear I had on today. They're turquoise and they're covered in ruffles and they're like, shorts.
Like, I love them so much, I'm wearing them over my tights.
Under my tights, I have a different pair on,
they're just as cute, but still...
not as cute.

I found this like, flat chested teddy that I like... *hints to Nicky*

-Peter

I drew a picture. =.)

2009-11-10T17:58:00.000-08:00

I drew this picture for my friend, Anna.

-Peter

Happy Hallow-versary?

2009-10-30T21:25:00.000-07:00

So yes, as it is 12:18 am, on October 31st, it is officially one year since Nicky and I have been going out. =.3 It's been a really good year. ^^ Technically, at 11:22 am, it will be exactly one year, but I'll probably miss that so, we'll begin celebrating now. =.DD

Pumpkin painting? [check]

Sober sex? [check]

Getting drunk? [check]

Drunk sex? [check]

Hung over sex after 2 hours of sleep? [check]

Sounds like a good day to me. ^^

-Peter AND Nicky

Booooooooooooooring,

2009-10-22T07:07:00.000-07:00

So, home sick from school. =.( Blah. It's so boring... and Nicky's at work and so is my mother. *alone* Last night, I went to bed at like, 5:45 pm. I wasn't tired so, I just threw back like, 6 hydros. Then I fell asleep rather quickly. Nicky... can fall asleep at any second for how ever long he needs to with no aid. Lucky duck.

Like, no one is on anything. xDD Not aim, msn, yahoo, facebook, dA, isketch... everything is abandoned! v.v

So, what do I do? I play Happy Aquarium and FluffFriends on facebook. (lamesauce)

But, oh well... people will be on later, right? I hope so. Maybe not. Oh well. Their loss. *is a cool person to talk to* Hm. There!! I WAS JUST IM'D. Woo! *isn't so bored*

I also ate quite possibly the most delicious Apple-Cream Cheese based dessert thing ever. Yummz.

That's all I suppose. It's only 10:06 am. Why am I so bored already? I'm so lame. I need constant entertainment... Blahhhh.

Ok, well, bai.

-Peter

Ps. My mother is here. She just stayed in her room til 2 hours ago and she hid her car around the corner. >=.(

Nick and Peter's Excellent Adventure

2009-10-17T16:41:00.000-07:00

Hello all!

I had a good day. I don't know about everyone else, but my day was good.

But this is my journal... so, I'm going to describe MY awesome day.

First, I woke up... and contrary to now, I was in a terrible "I hate everyone" mood. Yeah, ew. And I knew we were going out today so, I felt kind of bad because I was all stfu and Nicky was all yay!. so, I just kept getting madder and madder and then I was happy all of the sudden and we went to Cici's... which. Eugh. I hate all of the people who eat there. Just like Red Robin as I know I've stated before, they should close for everyone but me so I can enjoy my food without 10,000,000 people looking at me. Bleghhh. After we ate, we went to go buy tickets to the movie. That was fun... I saw... people that I know from school. >.> <.< then we went to buy snacks at the dollar store and this guy was singing in the car next to us. Very passionately. And we got Apricot jelly cookies. Yumm. Then, at like, 2:15, we went to the theater... the theater full of five year olds... Yeah. That cool. This little girl had her knee in Nicky's back for like, 45 minutes. ^^ He was getting so mad and as soon as the credits started going, he was so happy. ^^ He said he liked the movie though. We saw Where The Wild Things Are... it was sort of scary-creepy in some parts... and like, the one beast started kissing the other beast's neck from behind... haha After that, we went to Barnes and Nobles and we just looked around. I bought antony and Cleopatra. They had a grand total of ONE copy of it. >.> <.< Then, we got tea and left and drove back home. And then... I made him reply to stuff and said "Nickyyyyyyyyyy... I want a popsicle." and and and... he left. To get popsicles. Because he's so nice. =.) So... yay! Popsicles. And let me tell you... I really want one like, we haven't had them for months. Since like, July. If even then. I'm just trying not to exaggerate, but it was probably longer. Christ... v.v Oh well... He just called. He's on his way back. And... he got the variety fruit pack. He also said he'd eat the grape ones because I don't like them. He is a peach. Anything else? Probably not. I just got back to now. So, that's it.

So, baii.

-Peter Liam Oberman

Ps. Ew, I called him Nick.

Don't You... Forget About Me...

2009-10-15T21:41:00.000-07:00

I felt like making this quick... =.3

-Peter <3

Fail mood is fail. ^^

2009-10-15T21:31:00.000-07:00

So, fail mood... I'm probably just tired. ^^ I should sleep soon... tis midnight.

But yeah... Renais-suck faire... sucked. ^^ But, I guess in retrospect it had it's moments of fun. I mean... it was entertaining to see other people getting wet when we were indoors... and others eating pickles off of sticks. ;-; As a terrible manager of stress, I cry about everything and anything. As soon as I got in the car to go home, I fell to pieces. I was cold, wet, tired, and hungry. D.=

I came home, threw back like seven pills... I don't even know what I took xDD... and I've been in fail mood since they wore off.

My friend had a dream about Nicky killing me... it actually sounded kind of cool. She said he drugged me, took me to the woods, and stabbed me. Like, I think it would be awesome... haha.

It snowed today... in October. It snowed. I'm afraid of how bad the Winter will be nao... if it's already snowing in Mid-Autumn... Dx.

Kat sneezed!! It was so cute... ^^

Zomg... and Nicky... wow. ^^ I can't even look at him without laughing. Like, he got me these... fishnet thigh-highs avec small bows on the calves. They're not quite black, more of a dark, smoky gray. They look like he almost had to go to a stripper store to get them though... jeez. ^^ Not that I'm above wearing them. Not at all... ^.~

I think we might carve pumpkins his weekend. =.DD We bought two decent sized ones for carving and a few other ones for painting. =.D This shall be fun. It'll be the first time that we carved pumpkins together. Because, last year... well, we started going together ON Halloween, so, it was already done. =.\ I did have fun doing it with my mom though... we did a lot of Holiday junk in the past year, oddly enough. Like, my mother and I made and decorated a gingerbread house and like, eight gingerbread men.

My hair is getting really long. ^^ I love it... it's to my shoulders, curlie. Straight, it's passed. Everyone tells me to get it cut, but I look failsy with short hair... =.=

*yawns tiredly*

Imma go to bed... soon. Not yet, soon. ^^

-Peter

shoodawoop

2009-10-10T22:15:00.000-07:00

Today, Nicky an I went to the pumpkin patch. It was really fun.

First, we took a hayride to the actual pumpkin patch and a corn maze. We went through the corn maze first... it took like, three hours because Nicky kept turning the same way and he got us lost... all on his own. =.) We had to find 16 crayons... it was so hard. But, we got free passes to mini golf for doing it. =.DD After the maze, we picked pumpkins and gourds and goose-neck squash. We're going to paint/carve them =.)

After that, we took a hayride back to the carnival section and we got hot apple cider and rode the spinning teddies a few times. ._. Then we got snow cones, and left.

It was sooo tiring. We just came home and took a nap. ^.^

It's really starting to feel like Autumn too. I mean, the trees are all pretty and my mom picked mums for decoration... it's all cold. ^^ But, cold means movies and hot cocoa. Oooh, and scarves. I like scarves... and gloves and winter coats. I love Autumn and Winter... haha... ^^

All that is needed now is a haunted house... ^^ ... and maybe some whipped cream.

I should start writing more... I've been so lazy. *tries*

-Peter Liam Oberman

Juste En Peu... ^^

2009-10-08T20:53:00.000-07:00

Bonjour, mes amis!

Four day weekend.. awesome. ^^ Teacher "inservice" day AND Columbus Day... Never was I so pleased that America was discovered... even if Christopher Columbus gets undue credit. *cough Amerigo Vespucci cough Bjarni Herjólfsson cough* But, meh.

Tonight, we (meaning Nicholas and myself...) are hosting a guest. Haylyn! She's rather lovely. So polite and nice and quiet and sweet. ^^ And unannoying... =.3 We drew cats on our jeans earlier... in French. ^^

3-way spoon train... ^^

Anywhosits... today, in school, we had a pep rally. To rally pep? And I laid down on the bleachers... and this girl, Jennie/Jenna (I don't know) got on top of me, though I didn't know it was her at first, and then... shoved her filthy whorish tongue down my throat in a sour attempt to make out with me... I guess. It was just really weird. Needless to say, I flipped on her. *shudders*

~^~THIS IS WHY I DON'T LIKE GIRLS~^~

Moreover, I had a test today... sucked, but it was easy. I want raspberries. Bad...

I've been having terrible mood swings today... ^^ I was so pissed off earlier and for like, no reason. Then I just got all happy... again, for no real reason. *slaps bipolar*

But, in all seriousness... I am. Not even joking. ^^ Why is that funny to me? It probably shouldn't be, but I'm laughing... better to laugh than cry, I guess... haha.

OH MY, NICKY IS TAKING ME TO THE PUMPKIN PATCH THIS SATURDAY AND IT'LL BE FUN!!!!

I just remembered. ^^ And, I'm excited... because they'll be nice... It'll be the first time together.

Almost a year for us...
October 31st, 2008 @ 11:22 am, in the library behind the biographies.
Not to get too detailed.

Gawd... haha. ^^ I love him.

-Peter <3

Wewt, stuffs!

2009-10-07T13:23:00.000-07:00

Wewt... I love Nicky. Last night, he just like, sang all these love songs to me. It was so cute. ^^

I hurt my knee on Monday, in gym, and it was hurting yesterday morning. I skipped school and he skipped work. =.) And he was so sweet... he brought me clothes, then he carried me around, and set up a little beddie on the couch for us, got tea, and put on a movie. =.) Twas vedy fun.

I painted my nails bluuuuuuuuue. I liek them. ^.^ Nicky gave me the nail polish. =.3

He also gave me these adorable pairs of undergarments... like, black and white leopard with a pink trim and bow and black, lace-thighed boyshorts with like... lace squared cut out, a red pair that are covered in ruffles, like, rows (my favorites)... and a black lace pair. Zey are cute... ^.^ And, I luffs them. (I luffs him. ^^)

He says hi, as he is right there. *points*

So, bai...

-Peter

bleh...

2009-08-04T05:43:00.000-07:00

One more cup of coffee...

I'm actually quite unhappy this morning... not with Nicky or anything like that... I just am. I was thinking about someone who's... not around anymore and I guess it always makes me a little sad. =.\ His name was Daniel... I'm missing him hard because it's almost a year since he died. It's weird because I knew him for last summer... but... I loved him. A lot. And, he didn't know. I regret not telling him... I don't know if that would change things though. Probably not.

Sometimes I wonder if Nicky has any relationships that he regrets not saying something or anything like that... anything that eats him up... I'm too afraid to ask him though... if he wanted me to know, he'd tell me. That's how I see it... I don't want to push him. It's usually the way he handles me. I hope he doesn't. I don't want him to feel unhappy. =.\ But, I guess everyone probably does.

So, I'm cheering myself up, because Nicky's at work, with corny love songs that we've adopted as ours and Rice Krispies treats. I forgot that I loved them, but they make me thirsty... and I haven't a beverage. Efff... Oh well. I believe he's going to be late today. His turn signal is burned out and he needs to go and get a new bulb. Then he has to figure out how to put it in... which is a war in itself. Also, he won't let me help... v.v (Stubborn.) haha aww... Nicky is stubborn, but that's why we love him. Right? Well, one of the reasons... ^^ He's silly. And adorable. *swoons*

And can you feel the love tonight
It is where we are
It's enough for this wide-eyed wanderer
That we got this far
And can you feel the love tonight
How it's laid to rest
It's enough to make kings and vagabonds
Believe the very best

- Peter <3

2009-07-30T13:07:00.000-07:00

Bleh. I'm bored. Nicky works for another 20 minutes, so, it's really not that bad. But, still... buh. Ew, and my charger is being a cunt... puh. Bitch.

I'm drawing a wombat... well, a womb-bat. >=.)

I also want a lollipop... cherry kthnx.

But now, it's only 10 minutes till Nicky gets out, so... this was a good distraction. Yay!

O bai.

-Peter Liam Oberman.

theresamonsterinmyclosetasihideinit

2009-07-26T18:05:00.000-07:00

Well, I drew that monster.

In french, it says: "Pouvez-vous parler français? Quoi qu'il en soit, je pense que Je t'aime. Savez-vous pourquoi? Parce que vous n'avez pas exécuté à partir d'un monstre bleu et violet. Maintenant, je me suis fait un ami. Un ami que j'aime."

In English, it says: "Can you speak french? Either way, I think I love you. Do you know why? Because you did not run from a blue and purple monster. Now, I made a friend. A friend that I love."

I like him, Nicky likes him, I love Nicky, Nicky loves me. I hope the monster likes us, but even better if he loves us. <3>

2009-07-25T05:52:00.000-07:00

O hai.

Nicky took me out last night, that made me happy. =.) First, he bought me a coffee and a candy bar, to basically hype me up. then we went to Barnes and nobles and... bluntly, we had sex in the bathroom and I bought a book. then, Nicky bought me another coffee and we came home and... did it again. =.) I wrote two new pieces and read a chapter of Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring. then, I came online and I've been up all night drawing, chatting, and wasting time in general.

So, it was fun, yes. And yes, I'm still feeling the endorphins which is always a plus.

If you want to read my new shit, but don't feel like doing to my deviantart site DrippingWithSarcasm then, I'll post them right below here.

When You Wish Upon a Star...

_{Blank eyes face the rose-bloomed sun shining back silver moons revealing spinal pains and cracking ribs of pure passion when it lunges from our lungs and entangles our legs together rooted in a rosebed that once laid useless, dying... now thrives, blood-filled, with heart beating double pulses and flying through time to distant planets that set waiting for fractured bones to heal around them and cage them back in to await their fate of collapsing in a shattered heap of broken apathy and splintered tears... apathy and tears that stayed with us and gutted us til we sat, useless heaps of dead brain cells and colored our blood a dimmer hue of scarlet flowing weakling through hardened veins that carry your blood through my heart.}

Wild thing, I Think I Love You...

_{So, you understand when the hands are lowed to wander yet the lips linger... a crystallized sigh falls from the lips and condensates on the glass collarbone until it's blurred with the scent of sour-apple candy breath. Then, while smiles turn to dust, a single finger strokes a message in the steamed glass for one set of eyes to bear before it evaporates into tiny mirrors which are only absorbed back into the lips that parted to leave them there.

So, that's what I'm talking about. ^^

O bai.}

2009-07-21T10:14:00.000-07:00

Ohai.

I just drew an angelfish for isketch. That was fun... It was shitty too though, but they got it. That's always good. Today is someone in my family's birthday... I think. I'm really not sure. I have to check. Hold on... Awww... It's Mitch's birthday. ^^ For those of you who don't know who Mitch is, he's Nicky's oldest brother. He's 26. We might go out tonight, but he's probably just going to spend it with his girlfriend. *immature ooo-ing* Nicky will call him, undoubtedly. Or he's on the phone with him right now and I'm too unobservant to notice. Yeah, it's the second one. ^^ Jeez... I fail.

My mother made a chocolate cake and dark chocolate ganache. I, Peter Liam Oberman, and my beau, Nicholas Britt Shepard, are not allowed to eat any of it. (Because my mother likes to eat everything... and "It's for Vito." Bullshit. He'd share.) But, eh.

Last night whilst spooning with my lover, I had a nice line float into my mind AND I was intelligent enough to write it down. However, this morning I wasn't intelligent enough to bring it downstairs with me. So now, I must hike back up the stairs and get it. TT~TT
*is lazy*

2009-07-20T14:21:00.001-07:00

I. Am. Bored.

Just saying. But, it's a nice day, I guess. Sunny, not too hot. I wish we could go to the book store... we haven't been for ages... v.v Nicky knows I like it... I could beg, that would be interesting to see... ^^

So... KIWI... yeah.

2009-07-20T00:50:00.001-07:00

Wow... I haven't posted here in a while ^^ I made a new blog... http://peterliam.webs.com it's kind of more kick ass than this, I think.

But, anyway... if you don't feel like clicking the link, I might start posting here again... even if that one is better... lazy fucks.

I aw Harry Potter and the Half~Blood Prince. It was pretty good, besides the end. The humor was funny, laughable. ^^

I also had a funny dream about a friend of mine who passed away. It's a bit sad, but I'm smiling about him now. =.) I do miss him. But, I'm over it now and I'm ok.

And that, over there... ---> Is the Narwhal WIP for Chapman. I hope he likes it. ^_^ Not that it's done yet... ^^

2009-04-04T11:06:00.000-07:00

Well, I am super bored. Super board sucks. I mean, how bored am I that I writ to no one? That fucking sucks. Pfft. Well, anyway. Bleh. I'm fucking bored.

You there, do something interesting.

*shoots*

*cough* Well, anyway... hum-dee-dum.

I have to pee.

Marmalade Articulation in F Minor...

2009-02-21T18:47:00.000-08:00

Please. Don't finish that sentence...

I'm imagining what it would be like,

to be the words hanging from your lips. ♥

Raspberry Lemonade Sherbet.

2009-02-12T13:09:00.000-08:00

Well now, it's 4:09 and I am awaiting Sir Nicky Nick's arrival. He should escape from his Hellish restriction at about 6:30-7:00. Now, today I have an important task. I am watching young Zachary Paul. [Nicky's fifth year brother.] I am also enjoying some delicious raspberry lemonade sherbet whilst young Zachary eats his... canned-spaghetti slop-nasty. But, he chose that. Ugh. Disgusting.

Uhh...

2009-02-11T20:05:00.001-08:00

Mah handz be itchin' and Nicky said that I should just... type here whenever I feel like it about whatever I feel like. Now, I wonder what I should type about. He should give me a topic. Let's ask Sir Nicky Nick for a topic as he is sitting here watching me because he's creepy like that.

Peter: Mhm.

Nicky: Umm... I don't know. Write about rabbits.

Peter: Rabbits? Ok.

So, I continue. Rabbits. They are awfully fuzzy. I used to have this rabbit. His name was Fluffy. He escaped once and impregnated the neighbor's rabbit, Rabbit. They weren't too pleased with that. Let me tell you... they yelled at me for being an "irresponsible pet owner." Fuck. they were the god damn idiots who didn't lock their rabbit's cage. Meh. Whatever. Rabbits do seem to like to fuck a lot. I mean, a lot A LOT. If you're into watching that kind of thing, the pet store must be your Lace or Bump. For those of you not living here, *coughs* Talya *coughs* Lace is a "Gentleman's Club" and Bump is a gay-friendly club in East Phillie. Wait. The topic was rabbits. Damn. Well, The Heff has Bunnies. Bunnies are like rabbits. Bunnies wear lace. Lace is the "Gentleman's club." Bunnies could be found at a "Gentleman's club." Again, bunnies are like rabbits. I win. Suck on that PSSA graders. I AM STILL ON TOPIC!!

Peter: Nicky... can I have a new topic?

Nicky: Uh... sure... umm... let me think.

Peter: Ok. *waits*

-Jeopardy theme plays-

Peter: Well?

Nicky: Umm... how about... *cheats by looking around at various objects on the floor*

Peter: Yes?

Nicky: Sunglasses?

Peter: Fine. =.]

And so, sunglasses. I like sunglasses. I have this pair and they are really big. Nicky says that they make me look like a fly... a fruit fly. Cute. Nice Joke. Ha ha. WE ARE ALL LAUGHING. Not really. So, anyway. I am wearing them now which makes typing difficult as I am severely near-sighted and they put a brownish haze over everything. *pouts* Whatever. I'll fix all the mistakes later I guess. Hmhmhmhmh... so yeah. I guess I'm done. Or am I? Bye.

-Peter Liam Oberman III

ps. peter let me say hi.
-nick

Ze Happy Flower and Ze Happy Sun.

2009-02-11T18:31:00.000-08:00

Sveet. Peter and ze Nicky-Beast made ze blog. How awesome iz zat? Peter also drew ze picture of ze happy flower and ze happy sun. Zey are to ze left.

♥