So.

Great.

I'm crying.

This is fucking great.

I honestly have no idea what today is. In reality, it's really great. I have Nicky and Alex both here. We're talking, laughing. It's going well.

Yet... in my head, I have no idea. I'm just so... sad and upset today. I wasn't earlier. I was happy earlier. Now it just... sucks. I've been trying to hide from them so they don't bother asking... =.\ I just feel like... even though it's not necessarily true... I feel like I'm on the backburner with most people. I'm tired of being the one who "tries". I want other people to try for me too. I want to feel like people give a shit whether I'm around or not. Like, obviously, they do... but I don't know why I'm so difficult to please.

It's so... vexing.

My throat hurts though. It's kind of annoying. But, it's hurt for days now.

I suppose I shall describe my morning and how great it was. Really, it was great. No sarcasm.

Well, Nicky and I woke up around 7:30 and went downstairs to make breakfast and eat before Alex got here. We figured he'd get here around noon... Oh, we were wrong. He was here at 8 sharp ready for battles. My entire house served as the arena. I liked my larping outfit that I wore. It was my little black shorts, my mom's olive green tanktop, my hiking boots, a headband, messy hair, and a piece of cloth tied around my arm. I was going for fierce, but apparently I was only cute. We all had warpaint too. It was sweet and official. I took on a warrior lynx-like persona. Nicky has wolfish characteristics in his fighting styles, and Alex did his bear thing. Neither of their costumes were as cool as mine. Though, they both had warpaint, but like... Nicky wore cut off mudas and Alex had on khaki shorts. they both had on beaters... and... they had more intimidating muscles than me... especially Alex. He looks like he lifts things. ;-; Alex had on a headband. He looked like... idk. Rambo. It was scary. Nicky was not scary. He was cute.

The first battle was me against Alex. I owned him. I pinned him on the floor and had my sword to his throat and he was like, "Mercy." and then I had to battle Nicky... and Nicky beat me... by getting me on the stairs and then I had a disadvantage. Then, Nicky battled Alex and won. Then, I was fighting Alex again and then Nicky and then they fought and Nicky still won over all. Alex beat me the second time though. HOWEVER. Nicky def cheated when he battled me the second time. haha. He grabbed my ankle and I fell on the bed. I suppose it's my fault for getting up on the bed... oh well. It's his fault. =.D

then we jsut sat around for the rest of the day... Alex is making tzatziki and Nicky is making good alfredo. Like, the kind my gramps taught my mom to make and in turn she taught him. It's far superior to American alfredo in every way.

That's all for now. I feel way better now than I did when I first started typing this.

Perhaps this is a type of therapy. Who knows.

-Stay classy, San diego. ;3 Peter

./title

She'll have fun fun fun til her daddy takes the t-bird away now...

Ah, yes. Beach Boys, how I love you. Nicky and I are having a mini... hmm... dance party? In my room. Yes, a dance party. For us. Featuring Supergrass, The Beach Boys, and whatever else comes on. =.D

I'm taking a break to download more though, and do this... but, yeah.

Yesterday, Nicky and I went to Barnes and Nobles and the music playing was covered and remixed Beach Boys. It was terrible. Nicky and I also went our separate ways at first, as we usually do. 20 minutes later, I passed by him and he says "Great. I get to walk past Potato Chips again." and I was confused so i turned back and asked him and he nodded ahead at this guy and said "He smells like potato chips... so I named him Potato Chips. It's disgusting and he's constantly in my way." and I started laughing so hard... and then it hit me. The smell. I was no longer laughing. I was just blank staring. And Nicky was right. I stayed with Nicky after that and the guy did show up at the ends of all the aisles he walked down. It was creepy. >.>

Also, over the past few days I've had to deal with some of the most pathetic people ever. It's kind of funny but also sad... like, people that have such sad lives that they have to expand into other people's lives just for a few kicks. It's like, really? haha.. Instead of bothering to hate on someone else, just ignore them. It's not hurting you. Only you're making it bother you... and frankly, it's bothering everyone around you. But still, it continues... haha. I try not to laugh because it's not funny.. it's sad. We should feel bad for them, but I find it hard to feel bad for anyone anymore. Everyone wants it too much. Pity and Fame. Those are the goals in life, haha.

I think Wednesday is the chosen day for Battles with Alex. It will be awesome. I called him about it today... he was so down. Like, he was like... idk. But, it was great.

I also answered the phone this morning... and it was my therapist. I was like, great what the hell do you fucking want? And like, he said that since I don't come to see him anymore, he was going to make random calls to my house... to check up on me... and talk to me... I'm like... UGH I HATE YOU DIE IN A CLOUD and he kept asking me if the Paxil was working for me and I was like sure and he kept asking me if I wanted to try a different route, like Zoloft or Celexa or Prozac. I'm like, uhm sure. Give me more drugs. I like them. He finally hung up after like, an hour. I should have our number changed.

But yeah, the music has downloaded and Imma go dance with Nicky because we're cool. =.DD

-Peter