Farmer's Market

Before I get into describing my trip, I shall mention by friend Zach because he reads these because he cares about my feelings unlike everyone else who doesn't read these because they don't care about me.
./waves to Zach

Oh my god. Nicky and I drove two hours… to this place. The was full of inbreeds and immigrants.

On the way there, we passed this farm. It had these humongous cattle. They were at least twice the size of your average cattle. They were ridiculous. On the ride back, I had Nicky stop at the farm so we could ask what they were. the nice old man said that they were Simmental Cattle and they were from Switzerland. He also invited us in for something to drink, and to be polite, we did seeing as we just barged in on him… even though he said he was pleased for the company. He’s 83 and he lives with his 86 year old brother. they take care of the entire farm by themselves. I was amazed.

At the actual Farmer’s Market… oh my god. It was horrible. It was like a Hick-Mall. Everyone was clearly inbred and/or an immigrant. Some of the stores were rad though. There was an old school vinyl store and they had all these sick records from 60’s… Steppenwolf, The Doors… it was awesome.

Then there was this… hippie store. It had so much tie dye. haha. And Grateful Dead. Can’t forget that. That store is where I got my slippers! They’re really warm.

I wanted this sweater but it was like, $70 so I was like HELL NO.

Then we stoped at this little place that had a glass case… and I was looking. It was NativeAmerican inspired craft and was generally pretty sweet. There was a lot of turquoise and silver and I got to looking for something in particular. The didn’t have it. HOWEVER, across the aisle was another case and I went to it and looked and my dream came true. I was so shocked. I called Nicky over right away and pointed and hopped and it was cute. I was like ZOMFG NICKY ZOMFG LOOK LOOK THERE IS IS ZOMFG THE HAVE THEM. Them refers to a four winds ring.

It’s amazing. Turquoise set in silver, and it’s actually two rings, but the one is set in the other so it rotates freely. Around the edges, it’s etched with Hebrew lettering which translates to “Father of the four winds, fill my sail across the sea of years”. I’ve wanted one ever since I heard the song Four Winds by Bright Eyes and researched the song. I would wear it on my ring finger but that is taken by my engagement ring, so I’m going to put it on a chain and wear it as a necklace. While I was telling Nick about it, the sales woman came over and started reiterating what I just said. I felt smart for knowing already and being able to identify it. It was such an obscure chance that they had one too.

We bought a sody and stood by the produce for awhile… and then, I just hear this inbred bitch across the aisle from us say “anorexic prostitute” and then “transvestite” and she kept looking at me. Obviously I did not like this. but, instead of getting mad, I got bitchy and I looked at her, and then at Nicky and I said loudly, “Nicky, How do you think I’d look with tits?” and he looked confused and then I said, “I should ask that girl over there where she got her tits done… so I know not to go there. They’re lopsided and look fake.” and the got this look on her face and Nicky and I just walked away. He was still confused though. I had to explain.

I was disgusted by some of the shops. One in particular made me want to throw a hissy fit. It advertised a “real live ‘gator” so, Nicky and I went to go check out “Wally the ‘Gator”. Low and behold, we see a 6 foot long tank with this poor creature sitting on astro turf with a landscapiing pond for a pool. It was sickening. I teared up out of sheer anger that someone would do such a thing to the alligator. As we were leaving, there was an announcement about how they were going to do the show of feeding Wally some chickens. I didn’t understand how it was even allowed. It’s disgusting.

Then we left and we drove back to the farm as I said that had the cattle. Then, we went to Barnes and Nobles and I got a book and Nicky got a book. Then we both got coffee and we got back in the car. Then we drove a little ways and Nicky was holding my hands and he pulled the car over behind the scenic overlook… and we had some fun… =.) After that, we came home and now Nicky is making himself a hot pocket.

Now I’m sitting in my room with my slippers on glancing through my book and finishing my coffee and my tea. Yes, I do sometimes have two drinks like Shelby does. We’re soul mates. Anywho, stay classy,

-Peter